


this love is ours

by mrsmessi



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Disorder, But with a happy ending, Cris is an overprotective boyfriend, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Gay Sex, Going on Dates, Hurt/Comfort, Leo is sick, Lionel is a slight anorexic, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Sickfic, Suicidal Tendencies, psychiatric hospital, slight domestic violence, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-15 12:36:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 74,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5785555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsmessi/pseuds/mrsmessi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo suddenly gets sick, too sick which forces him to stay out of football for some time but Cristiano never leaves his side...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [edited] When i started writing this fic i didn't plan on making it so sad, so i'm adding all the warnings beforehand. If you are triggered by any of this please don't read this fic. Your health matters more than this fic.  
> WARNING : The later part of this fic contains mentions of self-harm, suicidal tendencies, suicide attempt, [...more to be added later]

"Leo open the door", Geri slams the door yelling, he can hear gagging sound from the other side.

"Is he okay? did he answered ?" Neymar asked Geri with a concerned look as he walked in.

"I'm asking him over & over but he isn't responding" Geri almost yells at Neymar.

They can hear the gagging sound turn into sobs now.

"Okay enough, i'm calling Cristiano now" Iniesta says as he scrolls across his phone contacts.

***

"Where is he ?" Cristiano asks almost sounding like he has ran 90 minutes on the pitch as he rushes into the house. He has got here as soon as he got the call. He was in the city, he had match against Espanyol & he'd plan to meet up with Leo at Geri's house later of course.

"In the washroom", Iniesta says pointing towards the washroom sounding almost resigned. "He has locked himself in again"

"For fucks sake you guys your sick friend has locked himself in the washroom & you guys are sitting here?"

"What the fuck do you think we were doing all this time ? ....like we haven't tried 5373 times trying to convince him to open the door ? ....like you don't know how your boyfriend is ? Geri yells back at Cristiano sounding clearly offended while other Barca players glare daggers at him.

Cristiano regrets his words soon. Obviously they tried. They are his teammates. Geri & Andres are his childhood best friends & are always protective about him....& how Leo can be a stubborn little shit when he wants to, always pushing away people when they want to help. When he needs help.

.....So giving them a sorry look Cristiano runs towards the washroom. He has been to Pique's house many times to know all the doors. 

He can hear Leo sobbing on the other side of the door & he can suddenly feel his heart tighten in his chest. He stands there blank for a moment before knocking the door.

"Leo please open the door" Cristiano says trying to sound as calm as possible because shouting or acting out won't work here, he knows how to manipulate his boyfriend in this situation. 

*Leo tries to hold back his sobs as soon as he hears Cristiano's voice on the other side.*  
This stubborn bastard has a tendency of shutting himself up away from the world no matter how sick or upset he is. Thats how he is, he never wants to appear weak even if he needs help.

"Bebe please just open the door. You need help, baby please.", theres a desperate tone in Cristiano's voice. Desperate to be with another, desperate to take care of him, desperate to take his pain away.

No response. Cristiano expected this really, this is not the first time he has to deal with 'the immature Leo' & sick Leo is not a new story right now after his pics of vomiting on the pitch were on the front page of Marca more than one time.

"Carino please open the door now, you know i won't tell anyone, i won't yell at you just let me be there with you", Cristiano says this time voice gentle but firm, "just let me in or i'll break the door"

....& just when he is about to break the door, the door clicks open.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cristiano pushed the bathroom door open nervous and worried but the scene inside horrified him to the earnest. Leo laying on the floor against the tub curled up holding his stomach, tears streaking down his cheeks.

"Ohh my god..."

Cristiano pushed the bathroom door open nervous and worried but the scene inside horrified him to the earnest. Leo laying on the floor against the tub curled up holding his stomach, tears streaking down his cheeks. Seeing Leo like this made Cristiano feel sick too, like he could feel all of Leo's pain. He stepped towards Leo fast and sat in-front of him and gathered Leo up on his lap.

"Why you do this to yourself huhh?" Cristiano said sounding pitiful and heartbroken. He wiped the tears off Leo's cheeks rubbing his cheeks with this thumb trying to shush him.

"I...I...." Leo tried to explain failing to even say the words due to pain and crying. Leo was so weak he could hardly move, he was so pale it seemed like someone has drained all the blood out of him. He was too ashamed to make an eye contact with Cristiano.

"Its okay...its alright, i'm here now, i'll take care of you" Cristiano pulled Leo closer to his chest to make him more comfortable. "...but first we need to see a doctor, wait i'm calling your mum you need medical help"

"No, please don't call her, please don't inform her. Cris?" Leo pleaded panickedly looking up at Cristiano with swollen teary eye. All this time he had been hiding his face deep inside Cristiano's jacket. The heat from other's body seemed to calm him a bit, though he was in pain Cristiano's presence made him feel secure.

"Bebe i know what you are thinking, i know you are scared but bebe i'm here with you right? I'll never let anyone hurt you" Cristiano said almost sounding sorry.

"She won't let me play, if you tell my mum they won't let me play" Leo voice was so shaky it only made Cristiano tight his grip around Leo's body.

Their time together is so limited but now when Cristiano is here he has to take care of Leo, that too like this. They both made plans for tonight but now everything is spoiled, the thought of it made Leo feel angry at himself and guilty for spoiling Cristiano's night. That man was surely tired from playing match. Leo was feeling sick again...he was feeling like he is going to throw up again....  
....& he did. He was trembling all over.

"We are going to go to a doctor now Leo, if not your mother someone else" Cristiano said without leaving room for any argument.

Cristiano stood up first then bent down to put both his hands under Leo's arm and pulled him up. Leo would have collapsed on the floor right after he took the first step if Cristiano wasn't holding him. He was feeling dizzy & his vision became blurry.

Leo was looking so small, sick & vulnerable Cristiano sighed feeling sorry for him again so he hooked one arm around Leo's neck and another one around his legs and pulled him up on his lap like he weighted nothing. Leo said nothing just looked at him with his teary eyes like he was sorry for making Cris work so hard & at the same time feeling lucky to have a boyfriend like him. He made a mental note of hitting anyone with a brick if he hears them calling Cristiano arrogant again.

Cristiano came out of the bathroom carrying Leo in his hand and found Geri, Neymar & Iniesta sitting on the same place he saw them about an hour ago. They looked tensed and the room is filled with an awkward silence.

"....are you taking him to hospital ? Wait i'm coming" Geri inquired.

Leo stirred up on Cris' arms on mention of hospital his face crunched up in fear and he was on the verge of crying again, he only calmed down when Cristiano gave him a reassuring look. He is extremely nosocomephobic. He is extremely scared of hospitals, thats why he always used to look for excuses to bunk doctor appointments. He used to say "....hospitals are like jails for people who haven't committed any crime", the environment itself gave him panic attacks, have to live there for one night would send him to hysterics, he had experienced them quite some times after getting injured but only calmed down after getting the 'Lionel Messi' treatment.

"No please Geri wait" Cristiano's words stopped Geri who was almost halfway upstairs to grab his jacket. "I'm taking him to our house, i'll call our team doc from hotel to come over there plus i need you guys to cover up for us to Leo's mum here, Leo doesn't want her to know & theres no point getting haunted by paparazzi like this right now, you know how vicious they can be" a few minutes passed by & they all nodded it agreement. "Don't worry, i'll give you a call if needed"

After that Geri opened the door for Cristiano to leave who was carrying his dearly beloved in his arms. They wished each other good night and bid goodbye only after they made Cristiano promise like thousand times to call them anyway then they turn their faces to Leo who has passed out on Cristiano's arm who knows when.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos & comments are much appreciated & also if you want to make suggestions please feel free :) ...& ohh yeaa world is aware of Cris & Leo's relationship here :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey Leo..its not...look at me Lionel", Leo refused to make an eye contact with all those water welded up in his eyes but finally Cris made him look up "Isn't this what i should do ? I'm your boyfriend you would've done the same for me too right if i was in you place?"

Leo stirs up from his sleep a little as he covers up his tightly shut eyes with one of his hand, a failed attempt to save his precious eyes from the warm sunlight peeking through the curtains . The chilly sea breeze entering through the almost closed window is hitting his body causing him to shiver a little in his sleep so he snuggles deeper inside the warm cozy blankets and places a pillow on his face. After five mins or so he finally wakes up.

"God...my head", Leo tries to sit up immediately falling back on the pillows. His head is so heavy, he can't feel his body.

"Hey there my sleeping beauty, how you feel now ?" Cristiano enters the room with a tray in his hand. He walks to the bed and keeps the tray on the table beside the bed and sits beside.

"Cristiano ? I...ughh, we ? where are we ?" Leo inquired laying on bed looking confused.

"I bought you in our house. We were in Geri's house last night. You were sick and you locked yourself in bathroom and then....."

"Yeaa okay" Leo said dismissively running his hand over his face then to his head tugging a fistful of hair hard, "Ughhh...my head" Leo groaned as he tried to sit up again for the second time this time supporting himself up with his elbow with great difficulty. His whole body was feeling numb.

"Here let me help you" Cristiano said wrapping an arm around Leo and pulled him up closer to his chest. "Here nino open up and take these" Cris said taking two pills and a glass of water from the tray with his free hand. Leo whined refusing to take them. "Fine, let me tell everything to your mum then" Cristiano pretended to get his phone from the nightstand. 

"You are such a jerk" Leo groaned but opened his mouth obediently. Cris poured some water into his mouth carefully and gave him two pills. Leo swallowed thickly feeling disgusted like someone is making him swallow stones.

"There we go, good boy", Cris patted his cheeks and kissed him lightly on lips, then he pulled Leo against his chest again.

"What did he say ?"

"Who ?"

"The doctor ?"

"Umm...your vitals were low, you were suffering from dehydration, about the stomach pain he has asked you to do some tests and a thorough check up" Cris said running his hands on Leo's hair soothingly. "We'll go to hospital for check up ok ? I'll be there the whole time, theres nothing to be afraid of" Cristiano said kissing Leo's forehead.

"No. We both know that thats not possible, people will see. Stop babying me. Its just a normal thing for me there are many people who stay chronically sick, i didn't get aids if thats what you think you should think about yourself" Leo snapped. Cristiano was clearly surprised the way Leo said everything. Its so unexpected to get an attitude like this from Messi. Cristiano didn't know how to respond, Leo's words hit him hard and he clearly looks pained and annoyed. An awkward silence took over them. Just when Leo realized what he has said and the expression on others face he regretted his words immediately.

He threw himself on Cris and hugged him tightly. "Cris i didn't mean to....please don't hate me....you know how i get when....." tears welded up on his eyes, he was on verge to cry when he felt warm arm around him caressing his back.

"Shhh its okay, i know, i understand but i'm here, i'll always be here for you", to be honest Cristiano was hurt and a bit annoyed but he understands how it feels like to be scared of something knowing that they'll eventually have to face it and feeling insecure about getting judged by people for someone as famous as Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo understands. He just sighed heartbroken and tightened his grip around the smaller man's body. "....but you know it can't continue, you can't hurt yourself like this, i won't let you" when he got no response from the tiny magician in his arms he sighed once more defeatedly "c'mon eat your breakfast, we'll talk about this later" he said pulling Leo off his chest who clinged onto him like a worm.

"I don't want to" Leo murmured under his breath.

"Want your mum to feed you ?" Cristiano said challengingly , Leo only pouted at this. "Hey are you ever going to smile again ?" Cris grinned slightly tickling Leo who giggled at the sensation and wrapped both of his hands around Cris' neck.

"I love you so much" Leo murmured in Cris' ear

"I love you too nino, i just so worried for you." Cristiano nibbled onto Leo's ears leaving bite-marks on his neck.

"Hmm i'm thinking about it too for some days, i don't understand why i'm getting sick so often these days" Leo huffed Cristiano still marking Leo's neck. "Hey stop that" Leo let out a sharp laugh "Mum will see and i've training sessions."

"Are you fucking serious ? You'll do training when you are this sick ?" Cristiano pulled out of his neck and rested both his hands on Leo's side pinning him on the bed. "You've 5 Ballon d'Ors for fucks sake"

"I don't give a fuck about that award" Leo punched Cristiano's chest, "now get off me, I need to call mum she's probably been worrying sick"

"I called her last night after i bought you here"

"What ? Why did you..?? What did you say ?" Leo asked panickedly

"I told her we wanted to spend some time together so we'll spend the night in our house". They had bought a huge beach house just few mins away from Leo's house so that they can spend some couple time together.

"You are a diamond" Leo sighed in relief 

"You know i shouldn't be doing this, I helping you get away with your sickness" Cris muttered like he's regretting it.

"Ufff...will you let it go ? you are staying today right ?" 

"Yes, i'll return tomorrow morning" Cristiano said, "but next time its your term to visit me", Cris grinned.

"Then lets not waste anymore time" Leo said pushing hard against Cristiano's chest succeeding this time but Cris caught his wrist in a bruising grip and pulled him back on his lap.

"Where do you think you are going ?" Cris asked authoritatively

"Umm...lets go out somewhere maybe the park ?"

"you ain't going anywhere. You'll have have your breakfast now then we'll take a nap, shower or watch a movie or whatever you want. We'll curl up against each-other and cuddle all day. I'll let you select the movie too" Cris said tenderly but leaving no room for argument peppering kisses on Leo's neck.

"You are so mean" Leo growled and tried to move away from Cristiano's tight grip failing again.

"Stop fighting bebe you are too short for this & mean for helping you to stay out of hospital ?" Cris chuckled. "Now eat your breakfast c'mon", Cristiano curled his arm around his lover's neck and settled him on his lap once again then grabbed two plates full of food. He took a little piece of omelette and salad on the fork and pressed it gently against Leo's lips. "Baby part your lips"

"I don't want to eat", Leo let out a painful whine.

"Why do you have to be so fussy Leo ? Will you ever listen to me for once ?" Cristiano complained back for obvious reasons.

"I'm feeling sleepy", Leo snuggled closer to Cris' chest warmth

"Then we better hurry" 

"....what? those....you gave me sleeping pills ? You said we could shower together or watch movie ? I...I want to spend time with you", Leo said accusingly 

"Baby calm down i didn't give you sleeping pills, the doctor gave you some tranquilizers last night, i think you are having the after effect, it'll go away if you take another nap....& i'm still holding the food" Cris ran his finger across Leo's nape and soothed him and Leo finally accepted the food after thinking like 5 times.

"I'm sorry i couldn't make much, i ughh wasn't sure....."

"Its perfect" Leo cut off Cris "I'm sorry" 

"For what baby?"

"For having to come home after a tiring match for one day and having to baby me like this, for making you worked up so much, Junior is alone home and you have to deal with all my complains...and rude behaviors, you deserve....." Leo said with teary eyes but Cris cut him off.

"Hey Leo..its not...look at me Lionel", Leo refused to make an eye contact with all those water welded up in his eyes but finally Cris made him look up "Isn't this what i should do ? I'm your boyfriend you would've done the same for me too right if i was in you place?" Leo nodded in agreement "now no more talking feed this sexy butt something" Cris chuckled giving Leo's ass a light squeeze to make him feel more comfortable, he could see Leo smiling genuinely for the first time since he arrived he felt himself relax a bit too. "Can i name your butt?" Leo gave him a incredulous look "I've think of one, you'll like it i'm serious"

"What is it?" Leo let out a laugh.

"PUMPKIN!"

"You are unbelievable"

"What..? You have an amazing size, its so soft and round....it suits you" and they both chuckled. Leo opened his mouth as Cris feed him some more salad and omelette whining time to time. Cris made him sip some apple juice from the glass with difficulty, Leo was almost asleep by the end Cris then gently wiped his mouth with his t-shirt and laid him the the pillows tenderly. "Everything will be alright soon my pumpkin I promise, I love you" Cris murmured in his ears as he covered Leo with blankets and kissed him on forehead. He was about to leave for the kitchen with the empty plates when Leo gripped his wrist tightly and Cris looked back.

"Did you have your breakfast ?", Leo said in a shaky voice eyes still closed as Cris's eyes started burning from the tears he was holding at the back of his eyes but both of their lips curved up in a little smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so what do you think about this chapter ? Comment & kudos are much appreciated  
> &


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Papi asked me to take clothes for them" Junior said simply carrying clothes in his tiny hands some sweeping the floor. Dolores & Celia came outside leaving whatever they were doing worriedly.
> 
> "But baby why are you roaming around with them in the backyard ?" Dolores asked.
> 
> "Papi asked me to come from the backward so nobody can see its a top secret mission so you must not say it to anybody, I think aliens attacked papi and papai last night" and he continued his little steps carrying the whole closet in his hand. Dolores and Celia followed him curiously. He turned right and entered the house from the backside door and made his way to the room where Leo and Cris spent their last night murmuring how hard his dads are making him work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the super late update!

After Leo parked the car in Cristiano's driveway he didn't ring the bell he entered the security code to unlock the door and entered inside the house silently. It was dark inside but he has been in Cristiano's house enough times to memorize all its features. He lead himself along the hallway then went upstairs to Cristiano's room. He's still asleep, all tucked inside cozy blanket. He looked so cute with his natural curls all over his face and his naturally pouty lips, he looked so peaceful Leo admired the sight from the door and then made his way to Junior's room. He clicked the door open to find Junior sleeping just like his dad, all tucked inside cozy blanket only his cute, innocent face out. Leo walked to Junior's bed, dropped his backpack by the bedside and sat on the other side of the bed with a huff. Leo wondered maybe it was too early to come and let out a huff.

"Papaiii, i knew you come, papi said you won't but i knew you would hahhh", an excited voice almost screamed from Leo's back.

"Juniii mi corazon, of course i would come, I wanted it to be a surprise for your papi", Leo informed Junior sounding as excited as Junior, "but sushh papi will wake up and we don't want that and they both chuckled. "Why are you awake so early?" 

"I heard your footsteps and i woke up, papi has asked me to protect the house from robbers but i knew it was you" Junior said in one breath trying to convince how sure he was.

"Of course you are our super man!" Leo explained smiling, "but lets take another nap now, i missed holding my Juni while sleeping" and pulled Junior closer to his chest and covered them both with the blankets. They both fell asleep, Junior's hand wrapped tightly around Leo's neck.

 

***************

 

Cristiano leaned against the door of Junior's room and made a fake coughing noise as he opened the drapes with a switch.

Leo stirred up from where he was still sleeping holding Junior tightly as the sunlight hit his eyes like a bullet.

"Ahh fuck!" Leo groaned.

"Look a stranger in my son's room should i call the police", Cristiano said like he's not a bit surprised.

"You...you spoiled our surprise. Why do you have to wake up so early ?" Leo sounding highly annoyed by someone who disturbed his sound sleep.

"10:00AM!!! ....but of course you had no idea as you were sleeping, when did you come ?"

"Don't complain about early, it was 3:00am when i caught the flight, it was around 6:00am when i came"

"Awwww my baby loves me so much", Cris said incredulously.

"PAPII PAPPPIIIII HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY PAPIIIIII" Junior jumped out of his bed and started jumping on the bed and clapping his hands before landing on Messi's lap as both his dads started laughing.

"Thank you amorrr, i love you so much" Cris joined them on bed and wrapped his long arms around the person who means the world to him and kissed them both"

"Happy birthday, you spoiled my surprise huhh" Leo said grumpyly as Cris broke into laughter.

"So whats my surprise?" 

"Me ? I was the surprise." Leo pouted

"Thats it?" Cristiano raised an eyebrow trying hard not to laugh, "well thats not much of a surprise"

"Papai told me he'll make breakfast for you and we'll make cake for you" Junior informed.

"Bebe you really didn't had to and you really are my surprise, i'm so glad you made it" Cristiano said as he pulled Leo closer and ruffled his hair.

"ME MEE MEEEE.....i want kisses too" Junior burrowed himself deeper between both of his dads arms.

"Awww look at you three, you guys make such a cute family" Dolores' voice full of joy as she stood near the door. "Come downstairs your breakfast is ready" as she made her way downstairs.

*********

Junior hopped down the stairs with his stuffed bunny in his hands followed by Cris and Leo, hands clasped together. 

"Awww look at these two love birds" Katia nudged Elma with her elbow who was arranging plates on the table.

"Yeaa yeaaa Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, who knew", Hugo stormed into the room with some files and grabbed two sandwiches from the table, "Hey Leo when did you came?"

"I...umm in the morning today"

"I've no idea why you mumble when you talk with me but i'm glad you made it" Hugo rolled his eyes playfully. "Happy birthday tho bro, i'm sorry i can't join you guys i've to take care of some important things but i'm sure Cris will have a great time with his husband." Hugo said winking as he slipped his foot into his expensive polished shoes.

"Thanks mate and he's scared you'll punch him" Cristiano waved at his brother & Leo shifted sheepishly.

"Bye mum, bye Juni, Katia, Elma, bye Leo" then Hugo left the house.

"Papai why are you so scared of Hugo ?" Junior asked innocently.

"I'm not scared of Hugo carino he's a very nice person but elder brothers can be over protective sometimes" Leo said still blushing since Hugo referred him as Cris' 'husband', "you'll understand one day when you'll have a younger sibling" feeding Junior small pieces of nutella sandwich. Suddenly a pin drop silence took over the room after Leo mentioning Junior can have another sibling in future, everyone even Cristiano looked confusedly at Leo not sure of what Leo tried to say. Did he really mean it ? ...but how ? And Leo stared back at them blankly.

Dolores quickly tried to end this awkward silence, "yeaa Leo like Hugo said we are so glad you came Cris got all upset after you told him you won't come". Cristiano chocked on his food hearing his mum's words and started coughing and suffocating.

"Of course i'd co- ...OH MY GODD CRISTIANO! ..can you ever be a bit careful?" Leo jumped out of his chair and started patting his boyfriend's back soothingly easing his breathing.

"I'm *cough* fa -ine" 

"Awww this is so cute! They are so cute!" Elma sighed.

"Maybe you should leave Junior and feed him Leo" Katia pointed, then both the sisters murmurred something to eachother which Leo and Cris couldn't hear and started laughing. Dolores tried to hold back his smile too and Junior started giggling at his elders while Cris and Leo's cheeks were burning red with embarrassment. They finished their breakfast laughing and joking, Leo skillfully dodged the questions when Dolores asked him about his sickness and gave Cris a deadly glare for telling her. Then Katia and Elma left for their work, Dolores left to join a charity event promising to return soon leaving rest Leo and Cristiano alone. Their glorious sex session was spoiled cuz Junior was still with them but they didn't regreat it, to be honest Leo and Cris loved his company so three of them took a shower together and spent the afternoon watching movies.

 

*************** 

 

"I can't believe you did this for me wow" Cris was surprised when he was greeted by the hole real madrid squad when he came downstairs followed by Leo"

"You really thought i'd let you ruin your day just because i said i won't be coming huhh ?" Leo leaned closer to Cris and kissed Cris's neck and sucking small red marks over the area.

"Hey auntie is here too" Cris pointed his hand towards Celia Messi who was chatting with Dolores in the corner sofa with Juniour sitting on her lap, HEYYY AUNTIEEEEE", Cris waved his hand towards Leo's mum as Leo collected himself quickly.

"For the 3748 time Cris you can call me mum now" Celia said stepping towards Cris "i'm sorry i couldn't come with Leo, i'd an important surgery at the hospital, i hope you didn't mind" Celia handed over Cris his birthday present ruffling his perfectly gelled hair.

"Of course not au- mum, i'm glad you came" Cris tugged Leo by his collar to face his mum who was chatting with other madrid players.

"Hey mum" Leo said shyly leaning toward to hug his mum. They chatted for some time and then Dolores and Celia with Junior went upstaris as music got louder and scent of alcohol filled the room. Then suddenly the doorbell rang and Bale opened the door.

"OIII LEO YOU ARE A DIAMOND MAN" Bale yelled from the door as a group of models and strippers entered the house.

"Wha- ? but i didn't......" Leo said panickedly 

"I'm gonna kill Karim" Cristiano cut him off when his eyes caught Benzema and Ramos smirking evily by the stairs, Leo sighed in relief. The party went on for hours most of the players are busy with one two girls, Cristiano excused himself from his teammates for a dance with his lover but Leo was nowhere to be seen. He pushed and shoved across the crowd scanning for Leo suddenly fear took over him and he became desperate, maybe Leo got sick again ? Cristiano was about to make his way to the bathroom but drunk Ramos blocked his way.

"I'm not in a mood for your games Sese, i need to find Leo" Cris sounded dead serious.

"Ohh is that so bcuz he was looking for you too there" Sergio pointed vaugely towards the glass door that leads to the indoor pool then left winking at Cristiano leaving him confused. Why would Leo go out by the pool in this chilly weather he wondered as he slid open the door and closed it behind him because someone jumping into the pool drunk is the last thing he wants to happen right now. He wondered around by the pool when someone grabbed his hand and pulled him in a room, not too big only two big chairs, mostly for towels and other pool stuffs.

"Thank god Leo I umm-....", he got cut of as Leo pushed him against the wall and started kissing him. At first it was slow but as seconds passed by both of their tongues exploring eachothers mouth fighting for dominance, both swallowing eachothers moans they only pulled back to ease the breathing but only two seconds later they were back on exploring eachothers mouth. 

"Le-oh we shouldn't...shouldn't be doing this here, there are people outside" Cristiano's own words made him feel more excited to go further knowing there are people outside, they might come across this room looking for them. Leo is too carried away by lust to care. Suddenly the chilly air around them started feeling hot.

"They might see ? let them. You are mine." Leo said in a shaky voice sucking marks on his throat and ended his sentence with a hard bite, slowly moving his hard cock against Cris' in slow circles he could feel his lover getting hard inside his pants too, his hands came down all over Cristiano's body feeling every inch on his sculpted body. Finally he reached the waistband of Cristiano's pants. "You know what we are planning to do can't be done if the still keep these on" Leo and Cris both started unbuckling eachothers belts stumbling against eachother. Their pants rested on their ankles as Leo kneeled down between his thighs, jerking off Cristiano. Suddenly he felt Cristiano's hands on his shoulders and Leo looked up.

"Are you sure you want to do this now ? Leo your body is stil-.....". Leo rolled his tongue around Cristiano's cock totally ignoring the older man's concern making him groan. Leo sucked deeper and deeper till the whole thing was inside his mouth. He bobbed his mouth along Cristiano's thick length gagging a bit. Cristiano was moaning in pleasure and admiring the view of Lionel Messi knelt down between his legs mouth stretched open around his cock.

"Baby...Leo...i'm close.." Cristiano's voice hoarse from pleasure.

"No Criss...i want to ride you" Leo panted pushing Cris in one of the chair.

"Waitt prep ? come here...lube ?" Cristiano pulled Leo by his wrist stumbled on his jeans around his ankles and fell on Cris. "Umm this butt! my pumpkin" Cristiano gave Leo's butt a light squeeze.

"Ughh Cristiano stop teasing" Leo pulled up his jeans a bit and handed him a packet of lube from the pocket

"All pre planned, i like it" Cris grinned slicking up his fingers.

"I told you i had a surprise planned now get on with it asshole". Cris carefully inched a finger inside Leo who arched back on Cris' lap.

"I love it when you do this" Cris said pushing his finger in and out Leo wrapping the other hand around his back to support his weight.

"Uahhh what?"

"This. Eyes closed. Arching back. And your moans....while we have sex" Cris ended his sentence shyly, he has added another finger in now, scissoring Leo open.

"You d- ohhhh" Leo wrapped an arm around Cris' neck this time as he screamed and arched back beautifully, Cristiano realized he has found other man's prostate and inserted another finger.

"Cris i- i'm ready, i can't hold much longer either". Leo guided his fingers out of him and shifted on Cristiano's lap. Cristiano helped him with getting his cock inside Leo slowly. Leo was having some difficulties coz of the position but soon pleasure took over him as his lover went inside him, filling him. Completing him. Cris ran his fingers on Leo's sweaty back as Leo tightened his grip around Cris' neck. Leo pulled himself up and dropped himself all the way down. Cristiano's hand coming down to jerk off Leo. Leo is too close, he starts moving on his boyfriend's cock faster and faster skin smacking against eachother till....

"Godd Leooo....", Cristiano came hard inside Leo groaning in pleasure, painting his inner walls, increasing his pace around Leo's cock. Leo came just few secs later all over Cris' hands and his own stomach, messing up their clothes with sticky come. "Leooo ? do you have some controlling issue you spoiled our clothes, how'll we got out?"

"Shut up jerk! don't spoil my afterglow" and they both chuckled as Leo pulled out off Cris' cock, come dripping on his jeans.

"Look, now you've spoiled your pants too" Cris started laughing hysterically.

"This ain't my fault, its your controlling issue", Leo pouted

"aww nino sushh lets just curl up against eachother here for tonight okay? we'll sort it out tomorrow morning " Cristiano grabbed two towels from the stand and cleaned off some of the sticky fluids from their body & pulled Leo closer against his chest, he was tired really, his legs were aching now so he made himself comfortable against his lover's chest, Cris wrapped an arm around him and covered them both with another towel then fell asleep there in that small store room, they don't need a fancy bedroom they just need eachother.

*****************

"Celia have you seen Cris and Leo?" Dolores asked entering the kitchen with the laundry basket.

"No, I haven't, uff these two...." Celia sighed preparing breakfast, "we've flight back to Barcelona this afternoon, Leo has to get rea-.....Juni where are you taking these ?" Celia asked curiously when she saw Junior trotting around with a heap of clothes in the backyard through the glass window.

"Papi asked me to take clothes for them" Junior said simply carrying clothes in his tiny hands some sweeping the floor. Dolores & Celia came outside leaving whatever they were doing worriedly.

"But baby why are you roaming around with them in the backyard ?" Dolores asked.

"Papi asked me to come from the backward so nobody can see its a top secret mission so you must not say it to anybody, I think aliens attacked papi and papai last night" and he continued his little steps carrying the whole closet in his hand. Dolores and Celia followed him curiously. He turned right and entered the house from the backside door and made his way to the room where Leo and Cris spent their last night murmuring how hard his dads are making him work.

"Papppiiiiiii i bought clothes for you and papai" he yelled standing outside the closed door.

"Ohh Juni you are such a sweetheart, nobody saw you right?" Cristiano collected the clothes from Junior's hand as fast as he could.

"Cristiano?" Dolores & Celia exclaimed confused peeking inside the room.

"OH MY GODDDD" Cristiano screamed at them.

"OH MYYY GODDDD MY GET OUT OF HERE" Leo screamed at them cheeks flushed red.

"OHH MYYYY GOOODDDDD YOU TWO" Dolores and Celia rolled their eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you going to keep me confined here the whole night?" Leo's voice low and a bit heartbroken as he's sitting on the bed of the medical room of camp nou, clenching his stomach tightly cuz of pain. It happened again. He is sick and this time the whole world knows.

"It's gonna be longer than one night if you don't cooperate" Celia said glancing up from where she was checking the patient's note and talking with nurse. "Did you check his vitals?" she asked the nurse.

"He didn't let me....i think he is a bit...." the nurse pointed her head towards Leo and Celia looked back at him. Leo's still sitting on the same position one leg close to his chest another leg dangling down the bed, clenching his stomach with one hand and covering his eyes with another. He looks so small and upset it broke Celia's heart. She handed the notes to the nurse and made her way to Leo.

"Leo?", Celia sighed when he didn't respond and cupped his face tenderly to make him look at her, "Baby look at me, carino ?", Leo finally looked up, eyes glassy but he's not crying. Nope.

"Mum please let me spend this weekend with Cristiano we've plans, i'll do everything you say after that without any fuss", Leo said in a very low voice almost sounding begging. "He's playing a match too yet he'll come, he has some expectations too"

"Baby we are not trying to punish you if you think so now that the media knows about your kidney problems its the club's decision. You vomited on the pitch again tonight the media will be viscous and you have to understand you are a professional, the club pays you." Celia sighed sounding resigned, "Though we don't care about it you know that, we just don't want you to get hurt now lay back and don't worry i've informed Cristiano he'll come here right after the match" Celia guided Leo to lay back.

"Why did you tell Cristiano he has his own match to play" Leo who was listening to his mum all these time quietly suddenly felt irritated for his mum telling about it to Cris.

"When i called him his match has already started so i informed Jorge and even if i hadn't he would've known when he arrived here." there was an awkward silence in the room the only sound that filled the room was of the nurse's pen which she was running mercilessly on the paper. "It doesn't matter if i tell him or not he'll always be there for you, you are very lucky to have Cristiano, trust me on this Leo", Messi turned his head to the other side, eyes full of tears. She's damn right. Cristiano will always be there for him. He is damn lucky.

"Now let me check you vitals, okay?" his mum put a kiss on his forehead trying to comfort him. He's still wearing his kit, his boots, all sweaty and he smells like the grass.

"Please no injections please", Leo pleaded once again as Celia brushed back his sweaty hair off his forehead with her fingers giving him a sorry look. Leo's eyes widened when he saw the nurse approaching towards him with a IV syringe in her hand. He's feeling nauseous again already. "Mum whats happening ? tell her to take that away. Why don't you understand" Leo was planning to get out of the bed and walk away before he got pushed back to the bed. 

"Leo you are seriously sick and you need to understand that, we'll have to shift you to the main hospital building" Dr. Paula Martos walked in the room. She's a nice person, she's like his mum's best friend but scary with those white coats and all those doc stuffs. All the doctors are for Leo.

Leo bit his tongue to keep himself from screaming, eyes tightly shut to keep the tears from rolling down as the nurse pushed in the IV syringe in his arm, he could feel the cold fluid running down his vein. He wants this to stop to be honest he is terrified, the environment is giving him anxiety attacks, he feels sick, he's exhausted after the match, he can't wait for Cristiano to come and stop them and he feels dizzy, he can feel the fluids running down his veins effecting him and then suddenly everything is numb and black.

**********

Cristiano stands by the door of Leo's room in hospital, Leo is sitting on the bed all hooked up with IV and medical fluids, head turned towards the window. As hours are passing by he is feeling even more sick. Cristiano sighed heavily and stepped inside.

"Leo?" Cristiano placed an arm on his shoulder, Leo turned around like this is the voice he was waiting to hear since forever. His hair is a mess, tears has dried up on his cheeks, eyes still glassy and puffed red from earlier crying but he didn't say anything, there was something pleading in his eyes and this broke Cristiano's heart. He pulled the small man against his chest for a tight hug, Cris didn't say anything he just didn't knew what to say. He only pulled out when he felt Leo crying in his embrace. "Leo?" Cris stroked his hair soothingly but his voice was firm this time.

"I-I was waiting but you never came, you don't want me anymore" he was still sobbing but somehow he sounded whiny & petulant Cristiano wanted to laugh but looking at his innocent and vulnerable face he figured he has gone through a lot before he arrived here so he just pulled Leo against his chest once again and this time Leo wrapped his arms around Cris tightly. Cris wondered if Leo was in his normal state right now he'd have laughed at his own words.

"Baby my match started after Barca's game ended, i was playing if i knew you got sick during the match i wouldn't have played trust me, i swear" he rubbed his hands up and down Leo's back, "hey why are you still wearing your kit ?" & thats when realized Leo still smells like grass.

"Thats his armour Cristiano, he thinks it'll save him from being forced to do something, we tried to convince him a lot though", Celia walked into the room sounding low she sighed resigned when she saw the food tray still untouched. Cristiano followed her eyes and realized Leo didn't eat anything either who was still sniffling on his jacket. Cris and Celia exchanged pitying expression on their face.

"Carino all the sweat dried up on your body, you'll get cold c'mon i'll give you a warm bath" Cristiano then nodded his head towards Celia to unhook the IV from his hand. After Celia unhooked the fluids from his hands they both help him get up then Cris supported almost his whole weight against his chest and guided him to the bathroom. Celia checked the water temperature and Cris undressed him part by part. "You can leave us here, i'll take care off him, if you don't mind....& will you please get some fresh food ready for him?"

"I'll be their in the room" Celia nodded in agreement. Leo is silent all these time, he's moving when someone is helping him move. He feels so drained and numb. Cris helped him sit in the warm water tub and caressed his skin all over and massaged his muscles. After drying him up with two towels Cris carried him back to his bed where his hospital gown was waiting for him.

"I won't wear that..." Leo said in a shaky strained voice almost on the verge of crying. This kid.

"Okay okay nobody will force anything on you, let me sort it out" Cris tried to calm his kiddish boyfriend. Then he picked up his bag from the floor and bought out his hoodie and a pair of shorts and held out to Leo "this is okay?", Leo hummed in reply. Cristiano helped Leo put on his clothes before Celia attached the IV on his arm again. Leo flinched in pain when he felt the liquids make their way into his vein drops of tears rolled down his cheeks. The sight is nothing less painful for Cristiano who wiped off the tear from his cheek. God its painful to see the person you love the most in such a situation. A house keeping staff entered the room with a fresh tray of food. Just some soup. 

"Leo you need to eat now" Cris said voice low but commanding. Leo's face scrunched up in irritation but before he could argue "if you want me to go without food too for the night then you can ignore" Cristiano warned.

After Cris successfully fed Leo they didn't talk much, their hands clasped together tightly. Leo stared blankly at the ceiling wondering how suddenly everything fall apart yes he has been sick for some time yes Cris knew and always insisted on helping him, none of them knew it'll come this far, Cris tightened his fingers as if trying to say : I'll always be here. Its 2am in the clock and everything was depressingly silent.

"Cris will you hold me tight I'm cold" Leo said in a weak voice. Cristiano forced a comforting smile and joined Leo in the bed while all he wanted to do was cry. He pulled Leo closer to his chest and placed Leo's arm carefully on his side where the syringe was attached. He could feel Leo's breathing and his body was really cold though the room was quiet warm. 

"Here, it'll keep you warm....does it still hurts?" Cris pulled off the jacket he was wearing and placed it over Leo and pulled the blanket over both of them.

"Cris..if..if something bad turns up i want you to....." Leo struggled to say the words himself.

"No...no Leo you won't even think of it you promise me...I'll die without you, I just can't-....look what i bought for you for Valentine's day" Cristiano quickly pulled out a red velvet box from his jeans pocket which contained a pair of couple rings 'Leo *heart* Cris' engraved on them. Cris took a ring and slipped it in Leo's finger, "We live together we die together and we'll attend 5 more ballon d'Or ceremonies together...promise me or i'll..." Cristiano said in a shaky voice. 

"I don't know", Leo took the other ring and slipped it in one of Cristiano's finger, "but I love you so much" Leo used every ounce of energy he had left in his body to say the words as he snuggled closer to Cristiano's body heat as he fell asleep on Cristiano's chest.

"I love you too so much, more than you can imagine", Cristiano wrapped an arm around Leo's lean body he just couldn't hold back his tears any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well a sudden turn of event...  
> kudos are always appreciated :)  
> 


	6. Chapter 6

MARCA : Cristiano Ronaldo misses two consecutive training sessions to spend time with his sick partner Lionel Messi. The Real Madrid star has asked for a week holiday from all football action to support his the FC Barcelona star who is in hospital for past two days. While many people find this act of charity 'cute' some critics has stated this as an unprofessional behavior and fans questioning CR7's commitment for the team. On the other hand Lionel Messi who suffered from renal colic last December complained about abdominal pain this February is suspected to go through a minor kidney operation though the sources say the situation is far more complicated for FC Barcelona's goal machine and he is in a critical condition. Neither club has given an official statement about their star player's absence whole Leo Messi's illness remains a mystery.

*********

Cristiano threw the paper angrily before storming towards the doctors coming out from Leo's room. They have made a medical board for Leo which included his mum Celia too.

"So...?" Cris inquired. He had this desperate, concerned look. So unlikely for Cristiano Ronaldo. He spent the whole morning waiting in the hospital lobby since Leo got too sick earlier that morning. The nurses had to force him out of the room.

"We've given him medicines, he's stable now", one of the doc responded with a polite smile but that didn't change Cristiano's facial expressions, he highly doubts them though they reassured him. Rest three doctors made their way to the lift only Celia stayed with him.

"Cris ? Cristiano ?" he came back to reality when Celia called him out in a little louder voice than she intended to.

"Yea ?" he replied absent mindedly.

"I know its a hard time for you" Celia paused for a second clearly she is worried and scared too "i'm his mum its a hard time for all of us" her voice came out a bit shaken "but we've to be strong right now for him." 

Leo got sick during the last match but he completed it somehow. He was then sent to medical room from where he ended up in the hospital. Of course his 'always too caring' boyfriend came as soon as possible though Lionel and Cristiano already had pre-planned their meeting that day but then like things don't go always as you've planned them to, they spent the night in hospital and now its the third day. Leo was having this unbearable stomach pain at around 3:00 am in the morning then he started to throw up. A bit blood came up first but it got worse as time passed followed by breathing problem. Doctors and nurses came running and Cris was sent out of the room.

"What happened in two days that he got so sick ?" Cris sounded so cold like something has broken inside him.

Celia wiped out a drop of tear from the corner of her eyes, "He probably got kicked in his stomach or hurt it really bad which he hid, he has internal bruises and thats why he was bleeding while vomiting and there'll be a minor surgery for the kidney stone which has been scheduled today & theres......" she didn't complete her sentence.

"&...?"

"theres...theres another issue which is far more complicated i'm afraid...." she doesn't want to say, she doesn't want to face the reality.

"What is it ?" Cris swallowed hard.

"He...you know had some growth hormone issues in his early days well he is showing those symptoms again"

"but..but his height is okay right now..." Cristiano said desperately.

"I won't lie to you he is not showing symptoms he is suffering from hormonal dysfunctions and thats why his body is so weak, the other two problems will get cured in few weeks but this i don't know", Celia so much wished she wasn't a doctor right now the one to explain about his son's sickness. She love him so dearly because Leo got a very little time to spend with her when he was young. Then Leo broke his ankle during a match when he was 18 and Celia paid him a visit in Barcelona. He hugged his mum tightly and cried all day, he didn't let her go till he fall asleep on her lap since then she didn't leave him alone she realized those were not tears coz of broken ankle but coz of emotional hurt.

Leo was a very shy guy, he still is but back then it was difficult for him to interact with people. He was so small for his age other kids used it find it weird and he found those kids annoying so he kept all to himself even when he was hurt physically or mentally. He didn't want to complain he knew his family sacrificed a lot for him and he should too, he couldn't show any weakness. There was Geri, Andres and 1-2 more people who loved him dearly and he felt so flattered but other people he thought they loved him coz of his football skills. Celia realized he needs someone to support him emotionally because it wasn't easy for a teenager to inject himself everyday but Leo managed to get over his fears then because he loved football so much. he knew his goal.

"Don't know ? what do you mean by don't know ? he was cured then we can cure him now too ? we've all the money he has to....." Cristiano is so desperate. Desperate to see his Leo laugh freely with him when nobody's around spend some time with him but not here.

 

"He'll be okay but he'll have to take regular medication this can get too serious, you understand what i mean ?" 

"Yes okay he'll do it, i'll talk with him i take responsibility" he sounds a bit hopeful and confident now.

"Cristiano..." she paused for a moment, "this can take some months or maybe year. He has to stay out of football for....i don't know. The therapy is long and painful &...."

Cristiano is so shell shocked he can't listen to the rest. He looked through the glass window, Leo is unconscious with all wires and syringes attached to him, the oxygen mask was covering half of his face. Cristiano feels so numb he's just staring at his lover, his face is as blank as his mind right now. How did this happened so fast ? Maybe if Leo wasn't so stubborn about himself maybe if Cris forced him to see a doctor things wouldn't have got this worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short update!  
> PS : i don't have any medical knowledge this is just a fic. I try to give more emphasis on Cristiano & Lionel's love story but its not possible without the current crisis situation both are going through & English is not my first language so maybe i've made some mistakes.  
> kudos, feedbacks really makes me happy ^_^


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo is finally getting out of the hospital but he's not really happy...

The nurse pulled out the last syringe from Leo's hand, she wiped off a drop of blood with anti-septic before putting a band-aid on the place. Cris helped Leo wearing his jacket, after that he bent down to tie Leo's shoe laces while his mum combed his fluffy hair. 

"Why can't we just go out from the back door ?" Leo complained, the 'i'm too tired to face the press' went unspoken. He is finally getting out of the hospital after five days though his mum wanted to keep him under medical observation for one-two more days after his kidney operation was successful but he reasoned that if he stays any longer in hospital media will get more suspicious and vile about his absence while the club staffs came to visit him. The officials agreed he has a point and asked his mum and the medical board to be quick about his discharge. Lionel Messi can be a tricky little bastard, he always makes clever use of opportunities he gets whether on the pitch or off it. Celia fed him pretty generous amount of medicines in past five days and Cristiano gave him a nice emotional support so he is in a pretty stable condition right now to get a discharge. 

"We have to let the media know that we've killed you yet" Cristiano joked

"...& after your rather dramatic complain to your coaches about how we are torturing you they want to make sure you get snapped by press walking out of the hospital as they are blaming the club for your situation that that you are sick but club is still making you play", Leo sighed like he knew media will blame his beloved FC Barcelona only. "Don't worry Leo their will be security and you don't have to answer them we'll take care of you okay honey ?" Celia reassured him with a soft smile.

"Ready to go home ?", Cristiano asked him with a smile that can blind him. He offered both of his hands to Leo to help him stand up.

"Hmmm..." Leo responded holding Cris' hands tightly trying to stand up but as soon as he tried to take his first step he couldn't keep himself straight and collapsed on Cristiano. But he instinctively grabbed Leo before he could fall on ground. 

"Easy there...you aren't feeling fine ?" Worry took over Cris' feature

"Yeaa...its just i feel a bit drowsy" Leo grabbed on his shirt as Cristiano pulled him closer to his body. Leo buried his face on his chest. In time like this Cris really felt grateful that Leo is so short, he could wrap his arms around his little body, keep him warm and protect him from this cruel world save him from all these sufferings.

"We'll go home and sleep the medicines off, I'll cuddle you a lot." Cris gave him a soft smile. 

Meanwhile a nurse entered the room with a wheelchair to escort him to the exit.

"I'm not sitting on that" Leo pointed at the wheelchair.

"Okay okay you don't have to, don't freak out, we'll walk" Cris pulled him closer against his body "I'll hold him tight" he gave Celia an assuring look and helped him walk few steps towards the door.

"Cris you sure ?" Celia asked worriedly "I'll have to finish some signing formalities I need 15-20 mins more time, you sure you can manage him alone ?" 

"Yes you can trust me on this" 

"I'm not a kid" Leo barked at both of them but before he could say anything Cris guided him out of the room and towards the lift. Leo murmured something under his breath feeling 'too insulted', Celia made her way to the other side of the lobby after placing soft kisses on both of their foreheads reminding them to be careful again.

As soon as his mum was out of sight Leo almost dumped his whole body weight on Cristiano and Cris literally had to drag him. It took a bit longer than it should for them to make it to the lift, thankfully the lift was empty.

Cris leaned against the wall of the lift and Leo against him, his eyes were closed. Cristiano's body is a pretty good bed for him. He was tired himself but instead he smiled at his sleepy boyfriend, he looks so young and vulnerable Cris could resist himself from placing a kiss on his temple then stroking his hair.

"Huhh ?"

"Ohh i thought you fell asleep"

"No..just tired", Leo snuggled closer to Cris' warmth.

"Leo are you still feeling sick ? you can tell me you know, i kept all your secrets a secret i won't tell your mum. I tell you all my secrets don't I?". Cristiano lied about the last part, he won't let Leo get away with his stupid excuses just because he's afraid of doctors from now on.

"No baby i'm fine really except this migraine and i'm really exhausted". 

"You look quiet miserable too." when Leo didn't respond Cris sighed deeply pulling his lean body closer to his "fine baby just tell me if you feel uncomfortable or need anything" 

"Can i borrow your sunglass for the day" Leo said in a low voice

"Sure carino"

The lift stopped at the ground floor. Cris helped him get out and walk across the lobby to the exit where more than 30 journalists were buzzing among themselves like bees ready to sting the couple the moment they step out.

"God they will kill me!" 

"Well...even i didn't know there will be so many i mean they told- ohh wait a text from your mum" Cris opened the message "hmm she says to wait here for 5 more mins she's bringing the car around here and the escorts are on their way, you want to sit there ?" Cristiano pointed at the empty benches in the waiting room.

"Yes that would be great" 

Both of them entered the empty waiting room and sprawled over on the last bench. Cris rested his back on the arm-rest and Leo laid against him. They didn't speak for long, Cris stroked his hair soothingly while Leo was playing with his sunglass.

"Leo ? you want to go to the park ?"

"You say ? Yes!" Leo sounded so hopeful Cris can swear he is smiling right now though he can't see his face.

"Okay lets not get so excited, let me convince your mum" Cris said and Leo became grumpy all over again "I'll try my best to convince her i promise". There conversation got interrupted by Pepe.

"Boys lets go your bodyguards are here car is waiting at the gate" Pepe rasped out like they have a flight to catch.

Cris helped Leo to stand up and dragged him once again to the exit door. Celia who was waiting in the reception joined them. Before they stepped outside Leo put on his sunglass to hide his tired eyes & dark patches around them. 

The glass doors slid open and they stepped outside. Two bouncers were head of them making away two of them guarded them from the back. Leo and Cris could hear all sorts of questions journalists throwing at them. Some asking about Leo's health condition, some about how many days will Cris stay out of football along with his partner some were just curious about their sex life like always. Many people would find these questions 'normal' but only Messi and Ronaldo knew how much it hurts when people invade your personal space, try to fuck up with their career. For them they were merely a source of money and entertainment.

Leo and Cris both stood for two seconds with a faint smile posing for the photos till Leo got all blurry from the flashes and noise. He almost tripped over on himself while taking his next step but Cris got hold of his arms and pulled him closer against his chest once again. Cameramen threw themselves on the couple pushing and shoving each-other to get a better picture of the moment. The bodyguards tried to keep them away while Cris guided Leo to the car as fast as he could.

He would always keep Leo safe his own status doesn't matter to him anymore outside the pitch. Media was clearly stunned seeing them together like this as Cris and Leo hardly made public appearances together. They would snap them picking up Junior from school sometimes or shopping. 

Celia got into the car, Cris and Leo sat on the back seat. To Cristiano's surprise Leo moved away to the other looking outside the window instead of talking with him he seems lost in his own world. Cristiano hates seeing him like this. He wondered why he's feeling so low since he's finally going home when it hit him the incident that just happened outside has made Leo upset.

"I was wondering if we can go to the park for some time. Leo has been here...you know...for so long...maybe fresh air will cheer him up....& i think we've a much needed talk to do" Cristiano hesitated asking his mum. Though Leo is a grown man his mum still controls much of his activities she never came between their relationship though and loves Cris like her own son he understands her concerns, having a stubborn immature son who stays half of the time lost in his own world must be hard but he can't blame Leo either considering the lonely painful teen days he had.

"Umm..I don't know hun ask Leo if he wants to go..", Celia glanced at Leo who is looking outside, pretty sure he's oblivious in his own world then looked back at Cris and he understood he'll have to do the rest of the work.

"Leoooo" he pulled the smaller guy close to himself "why do you seem so upset huhh ?" Cris whispered in his ear nuzzling in his neck "i thought we can have some nice time in park...together...alone"

Celia rolled her eyes, she wanted to laugh at Cris for being so dramatic but she appreciated how he was putting his effort to cheer up Leo.

When Cris cupped his face and turned him to face him he noticed Leo holding back tears. "Please carino just let it go, we are used to all these shits we've faced worse i know my words won't-..." before he could finish Leo ducked his face in Cris' jacket and started crying like a kid. Leo doesn't has any idea why he's crying but it just feels right then crying his heart out to someone who'll never give up on him, to rely totally on someone else for once, wanting to spend some time alone but still to be with someone to hold on to. Cris didn't object just tightened his arms around Leo. He doesn't know how'll they ask him to take time off from football or explain him his complicated medical situation and what'll happen next, he just wants to hold Leo tight and make him feel good, make him forget all the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to put the 'park part' in this chapter but it became too long so i decided to break it into too chapters!  
> 


	8. Chapter 8

Celia dropped both of them in a park about 10 mins away from their home where they usually hangout.

"Don't go anywhere just stick around here okay ? & please take care of Leo. I'm walking home and leaving the car here. Be back before lunchtime" Celia placed soft kisses on both of their foreheads and left.

Cristiano wrapped an arm around Leo's shoulder and clasped the other hand with Leo's. They started walking down the empty park. Cris thanked god for that he's finally getting some time to spend with Leo without people invading their personal space but Leo still looks grumpy.

"So Leo...all these sickness and medicines, how are the mood swings coming ?" Cris asked teasingly to break the tension.

"Hmm ? I didn't get any yet." Leo gave him a confused look.

"But its gets you all riled up"

"What do you mean ?" 

"Nothing..." Cris grinned. Leo gets too cute when he's angry or confused. Leo suddenly stopped walking.

"What happened now ? You want to sit somewhere ?" Cris is now genuinely worried about his boyfriend's weird behavior lately.

"I want that...& that" Leo commanded like a spoiled child pointing at the ice cream stall then at the person who was selling mickey mouse balloons. Yes thats Lionel Messi, the person who is feared by even the best defenders in the world.

"NO!"

"Cris pleaaase, i'm hungry" Leo mustered the most innocent puppy face he can.

"Nope! ....Leo no, stop giving me that look." Cris tried to ignore Leo's childish demands but then Leo turned around standing in front of him making him look into Leo's dark brown puppy eyes. "OH MYY GOD! fine! just stop doing this to me". Cristiano thought *mood swings huhh*, he has never denied Lionel for anything.  
The shopkeeper was startled for a moment when he saw Lionel Messi & Cristiano Ronaldo in front of his shop. Leo ordered double scoop dark chocolate while Cris took his plain vanilla ice cream. He tipped the shopkeeper well and both of them had to sign a autograph for him then they moved to get balloons. Cris took a mickey mouse and tied it on Leo's wrist.

"Another.." Leo pouted.

"What ? are you still in nursery ?" 

"No no that'll be for you, we'll take couple photos with them" he grinned while Cris rolled his eyes playfully. They walked some more steps till Messi's ice cream was melting and messing up his hand and mouth. They sat on the green grass leaning against a tree intertwining their fingers.

"Leo ? i uhh need to tell you something about you bei- ohh my god you disgusting little shit he said affectionately wiping off the melted ice cream drooling from the side of his lips and suddenly his eyes met Leo dark brown eyes. He eyes are so hopeful and he looks so fragile Cris lost himself under Leo's gaze. He came back to reality when the cold ice cream melted down his own hand.

"Oh crapp!" Cris hissed.

"I'm sorry" Leo said apologetically.

"Why ?" Cris wanted to laugh at Leo. He's so naive it makes him look cuter only. "Its not the first time that i'm wiping ice cream off your face....or feeding you." Cris still clearly remembers the first time when he fed Leo ice cream, he was sad that time too and Cris's company made him feel happy and safe. It was the first step into a relationship which both of them knew they don't want to end.

"No i mean..you know..you deserve much better than this I'm sorry for always being a person hard to get along with for always being immature and now-..." Cris pressed his fingers on Leo's mouth to shut him up, it hurts him when Leo thinks he's not good enough or worthy for this relationship that he doesn't deserve all these love and affection.

"I don't care what you think about yourself to me you are the sweetest person i've known and you make me happy you don't have to give me anything just don't leave me ever!" 

"You too don't ever leave me *please*", Leo buried his head against Cris' chest. "Btw you were asking me something ?"

Lionel was already so disturbed Cris didn't want to worry him with the major illness part plus he got to be with him after such a long time he just wanted to make him happy so he changed the topic.

"Umm Leo...you remember saying you would like a give junior a brother or a sister..ughh what did you mean that time ?" Cristiano hesitated for a moment he doesn't even know if this is a right time to talk about family expansion but he is honestly curious about Leo's words.

Leo didn't say anything for a long moment and Cristiano thought he probably freaked him out by mentioning this right now.

"As much as i love junior i would love to have more kids with you. We'll have have a small family of our own..." Leo stared at their intertwined fingers, the couple rings that Cris gifted him for valentine's day to be more specific. He leaned forward to kiss their joined hand then placed a soft kiss on Cris' lips.

"How ?" Cristiano is shocked he never thought Leo has done so much family planning. He was always the one to live the present but the answer he gave is not only adorable but shows Cris and Junior is the center of his world right now and Cris will do anything to hold it together because Leo is not only a good boyfriend but a great second parent to junior too.

"Adoption...surrogate ? I don't know, whatever option you prefer"

"Honestly i can't say how happy you made me" Cris said excitedly "I mean i'm not talking about now...whenever you are ready i wish we could have child together but in reality our child can't have both of our blood and we already have junior, i want our second child to be your seed."

Lionel turned around and cupped Cristiano's face "as you wish mi vida" he leaned closer for a deep passionate kiss "& i also want you to know that i'm always ready for this". 

They talked about random stuffs till the air was getting cold and the day was getting darker. They clicked some really cute selfies together & thats when he noticed 14 missed calls and hundreds of messages from Celia. Cristiano stood up first and offered both of his hands to Leo, Leo accepted the help and Cris pulled him up, the mickey mouse balloons still tied around their wrists. His face scrunched up in pain, a feeble whimper left his mouth as he stood up but he collected himself quickly. 

"Leo you okay ?" Cris got all worried again.

"Yes just tired! you are right i need to sleep off the medicines" he was once again holding onto Cris like in the morning.

Cristiano can clearly see the pain written on his face. Okay thats it, Cristiano had enough. "Honestly Leo i never kept a secret from you and you won't even tell me if you feel sick like what the fuck do you think if you tell me i'll take advantage of it and take away all your awards ? Let me get you one thing clear i don't know what you think but for me i'm not interested in those stupid 'individual awards' anymore, i thought we are way past that." Cris said in a harsh tone he regretted his words seeing how drained Leo looked, he didn't wanted to make an eye contact but Cristiano needs to know it all from Leo.

"I didn't me-.." Leo sighed and tried to step back.

"Then what the fuck do you mean ? saying you are just tired while you are clearly feeling sick. Its written all over your fa-...god you can't even stand straight." Leo almost tripped over himself but only crashed on Cris chest.

"You want to hear the truth ? heres the truth, yes i'm feeling very sick my head is killing me my muscles are aching i don't know what the fuck they did on me but the stomach cramps are unbearable i feel nauseous but still i want to spend time with YOU! but my body is not keeping up with me." He yelled back at the same level like Cris did except he broke into tears in the end. "I just wanted to have some good time..." Leo sniffled.

Cris' anger turned into a sorry feel for Leo he huffed heart-brokenly and pulled Leo into his embrace "You have every right to be happy bebe...i just don't want you to get hurt and you never own up by yourself its just hard"

Leo was just sniffling, Cris soothed his back till his breathing eased up a bit. "Take me back home, i want to go home."

"Can you walk right now ?" Leo nodded a 'yes'.

Cristiano helped Lionel get in the car then made his way to the driver's seat. The drive was short and they were home soon. Cris turned off the engine in the driveway and looked at Leo. He was running his fingers on the swelled up portion of the other hand where the syringe was inserted.

"Leo ?" Cris pulled him close till their body was pressed against each other. Cris knew he can never be the one to tell Leo what his mother told him but he has to tell him something "Bebe look at me" his fingers joined Leo's to sooth the swelled area. The skin around the band-aid has turned red. "We have good days in our life & we have the bad days everyday is not the same right ? their will be worse days in our life but they don't last forever. You are a strong person Leo and you've a great heart. I believe, I know you can overcome all those bad days, they don't last forever." Cris said in a shaky voice.

"Cris why are you saying this ? i'm here..i'm right here with you" 

"Yes yes i know baby but if even if it feels like its the end, its not you are just having a long run of bad days just don't stop believing and give up on yourself because i won't" he bought Leo hand to his mouth and kissed it. 

"Cris are you crying ?" Leo is suddenly very wide awake.

"No carino its just...it was horrible to see you like that and you were talking all kind of craps i was scared" Cris gave him a faint smile and closed his eyes for a moment as all those pics came flooding in his mind but before he could open his eyes he felt Leo's soft lips on his. Their tongues swirled together but their was no rush or feeling of domination only pure love and affection. They explored each-others mouth for a long moment when they pulled back they were both panting for air.

"I can overcome anything as long as you are by my side" Leo leaned forward to place another kiss against Cris' lips. Just a soft touch. "Lets get inside we don't have much time together i guess"

"Oh noo...don't worry i asked for a week holiday and Zizou didn't mind so i still have four days to be with you here"

"What ? are you insane ? do you want them to kick you out of the club ? look i'm fine now and i suggest you relax the day tomorrow and return to Madrid at night & its not like i'm gonna sit home all day. We are professionals Cris, the whole world is looking at us, our clubs pay us a good amount of money."

"I have nothing to say..."

"Look i don't wanna be rude but-..."

"You are right, lets get inside mum is probably getting worried sick" Cris stormed out of the car to open the other side door for Leo.

After they entered the house, both got an earful from Celia then made their way to Leo's bedroom. Leo and Cris took a quick shower and waited for Celia to bring their dinner to the room. Cris pulled up his shorts and dropped himself on the bed beside Leo with a huff. Leo was texting back Geri and his other teammates but he noticed the tiredness on his other half's face and suddenly it hit him all this time he didn't really thought about his pain and comfort. He felt extremely selfish.

"Cris ?" Leo leaned in & stroked Cris' curls gently. He was lying beside Leo, eyes closed.

"Hmm ?"

"Stay! don't go tomorrow please" Leo flopped beside Cris. Cris could feel Leo's breathing on his neck. He turned towards Leo and opened his eyes. 

"Why ? I thought- uuhmm.." meanwhile Leo has rolled over him and is kissing him passionately, Cris didn't object he closed his eyes again wrapping both his hands around Leo's body. 

"Just stay for me" Leo gave a soft smile "I need you to stay". He rested his head on Cris chest, Cris rubbed his back soothingly as an assurance. Leo could hear his heart beat, somehow it was enough to lull him to sleep. Soon Cris followed him to dream land.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so what do you guys think about this chapter ? & as many people asked me about Thiago i was wondering should i add Thiago in this fic ? feedback needed!


	9. Chapter 9

"Leo you are shaking, is everything okay ? are you sure you don't want to involve our parents in this ?" Cris asked hesitantly sitting in the waiting room clasping his hand with Leo.

"Its nothing & Cris we've already discussed about it." Leo said reassuringly placing his other hand on top of Cris' hand.

"Are you cold ?...you know our parents will be his/her granparents" Cris said taking off hiss jacket for Leo.

"Its the hospital environment....gives me anxiety attacks" Leo said embarrassed "plus If we tell them now they'll make a fuss of it, friends will know, media might know....why are you doubting me so much ? Are you not ready for it ?" Leo said annoyedly.

"I'm not doubting you, its just i'm worried about you" he bought their clasped hands up and placed a kiss on Leo's hand. "& i'm always ready, this is the best thing you can ever give me" Cristiano is not really ready, he's more concerned about Leo's health right now & the asshole sitting beside him has no clue how the things *will/might* change for him but when he bought up the family expansion topic Cristiano was so overwhelmed he couldn't deny it which lead to them sitting in the waiting room of the fertility clinic.

The couple have discussed about this only for last two days. As much as Cristiano would love to have a kid with Leo right now but his biggest concern is Leo's health. Messi has been given 2 weeks rest for now but some day very soon they've to tell him, Cris has no idea how Leo'll react to it but certainly its gonna be a negative reaction because after he talked with Celia and the medical board he got scared himself hearing everything they told him. So maybe having a baby in his arms will help Leo.

"Its just everything happened so fast i'm worried if the things will go right & you being so sick" Cristiano sighed closing his eyes "but i'm happy we are here" he gave Leo a faint smile.

"Amor, is everything alright ? You look stressed and i can tell its not about us being here." Lionel cupped Cris' face.

"I'm alright as long as you are alright" Cris said in a low voice. Leo wasn't convinced though but before he could question back a nurse called them in.

-

"I've gone through your file so i see both of you are in a hurry for child" the doc said placing a file on the desk in front.

"Yes the sooner the better" Cris answered.

"Like our clinic promises 100% secrecy for our 'high-profiled' clients its up to you which type of surrogate system you'll choose : would you like to meet & take care of surrogate throughout the pregnancy or keep your identity totally secret from her and take custody of child after birth like any other couple, obviously we'll keep you updated about the medical tests & all other information related to the baby, i guess this has been elaborated in the reception.

"Yes, we choose the second option" Cristiano has already thought it through, opening up their identities to the surrogate mother will only cause them problems later on but Lionel whined to his husband's decision.

"Why can't see stay with us, we can take better care of her"

"Leo i'm doing whats best for us, the lady can later sell the story to media, our child won't really be ours then, its just 9 months of waiting" Cristiano explained & Leo mumbled something in agreement.

"I understand your concern but let me assure you our hospital provides home for the surrogate mother & will be taken care of throughout the whole pregnancy" but Leo kept on fiddling the hem of the sleeve of his jacket. 

"So whose seed will it be ? We need to make an appointment for collecting the sperm sample" the doc told.

"It'll be Le- my husband's" Cris gestured at Leo.

"Fine then which date will be convenient for you ?"

"Actually we were wondering if that'll be possible today ? We are not open for much travel"

"Well, then you've to fill some forms in the reception and select a surrogate....we have 5 open right now" the doctor checked the computer then rang a bell to call a nurse in.

-

The nurse handed them some forms & Cris decided to go through them as he's more familiar to this. They both signed consent letters & choose their surrogate then the nurse guided them to a private room, typical hospital room that made Leo paler than he already is.

"Please relax & take some rest someone will be here as soon as all the formalities been completed" saying this the nurse left.

"Why did they bought us here ?" Lionel stuttered.

"Leo you need to calm down now i guess sperm sample can't be collected without a private setting" Cris hugged Leo from back & placed a kiss on his cheek but Leo just sighed heavily trying to calm himself. He sat on the couch instead of on the bed.

After an hour or so the doctor came in, the nurse handed Leo a container.

"I hope you already know what you have to do" the doc said. Leo looked at Cris who nodded at Leo then he made his way to the bathroom cheeks bright red in embarrassment. Everybody's gonna know he'll be jerking off in the bathroom.

After Leo left the room Cris decided to have a quick talk with the doctor. Its important that he does.

"So Dr. Frias, like i told you about Leo's health condition, it won't effect the child right ?" He asked a bit unsure

"It shouldn't not but hormonal problems often effects the quality of sperm and might have problem in conceiving"

"You are telling me that the girl might not get pregnant ?"

"Maybe, maybe not sperm might not attach in the first try, this is a common problem faced by many couple & i must ask when your partner is suffering from such a complicated health issue why are you taking a child now ? & your husband doesn't seem to care much about his problem" The doctor asked

"He doesn't know about it yet" Cris sighed, it hurts even to get reminded about it, "& i know he'll be devastated when he hears about it, the doctors there said he can't play for sometime you know....maybe if he has a baby he'll have something to...it'll make him happy"Cristiano Ronaldo got all misty there.

"Cris ?" Cristiano froze when Leo called his name, he prays to all gods that he didn't hear anything, he turned around to see Leo's head peeking from the bathroom door. "Can you come here for a moment ?" Cris walked towards him cautiously. When he was standing right in front of Leo, he pulled him in the bathroom & locked the door.

"Wha- ?"

"I can't get hard...i can't-" Leo's face scrunched up, he feels restless, he was almost on verge of crying

"Ohh no no Leo please don't get upset the same happened to me when i tried to make Juni" He chuckled "I got all nervous n all & i couldn't come" He reassured sighing in relief that Leo didn't hear his conversation with the doctor but also started to panic when Leo said he couldn't get hard remembering what the doc told him.

"Really ?" Leo asked calming down a bit but obviously Cristiano lied about his experience, he didn't want to make Leo upset.

"Yes it was so tough & embarrassing" Cris said trying to pretend he's still embarrassed about his experience "How about i help you ? ...& why are you still wearing your pants ? take 'em off"

"What ? sex here ? are you mad ?" Leo's eyes grew bigger.

"No silly, i'll help you jerk off" Cris smirked "....& take those off you don't want to mess your pants right ?" & Leo complied.

"Ready nino ?" & Leo let out a whimper. It still feels strange to get a hand job here in a hospital but Leo shook all those thoughts off his head. Cris wrapped an arm around Lionel's cock and started jerking him off. Leo told him that he didn't touch himself for days when Cris said he's moaning too much so Cris thought i won't take much time but it did. Leo took more time to come than he usually does & he didn't spill much either. Cris collected some semen in the container before they hit the floor & kept it on the sink before turning to clean Leo only to find Leo sitting on the floor holding his stomach. Bad thoughts took over his mind again.

"What happened Leo ? Are you okay ?" He knelt down to him worriedly placing a hand on his back.

"I'm fine, just tired from orgasm & stomach cramp" Leo said gritting his teeth. "Lets go give them my thing so they can make mini cressis from them then go home" he smiled a little. Cristiano cleaned his inner thighs & buttoned up his jeans & helped him up. They both walked in the room & Cris handed nurse the container wrapped in tissue, he told the doc that Leo isn't feeling well so they'll head home rest formalities will be done later, he swapped his credit card and paid an extra heavy amount to start the process quickly.

He drove Leo home as fast as he could. God knows how many red lights he ignored & his speed limit because when they were in parking lot Leo said he's feeling nauseous & vomited & Cris is truly grateful for this honest confession. He hates to see Leo suffering & he'll do anything to make him suffer less its just not clear to him yet why they are not starting his treatment yet but he's certainly gonna talk with Celia today.

Cris pulled the car in the driveway & helped Leo out. He literally carried the weight of Leo's tiny body on one shoulder as he dragged him to the door. He kept on hitting the doorbell without stopping one sec. They were out for about 5 hours Celia guessed something is wrong & rushed to the door. Before she could start with her lecture Leo run off to the bathroom pressing one hand on his mouth & other on his tummy. Cris followed him but before he could reach Leo, he had already locked him inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think about this chapter ? i'm not sure about this chapter (adding thiago but some people said juniour is here so tigi should be included too + he's such an adorable kid) I might edit this chapter as i didn't get time to reread it. & they'll probably break the news to Leo in the next chapter. :'/  
> Thank You for leaving Kudos & Comments, really makes me happy ^_^


	10. Chapter 10

Messi closed his eyes with a relieved sigh and dropped himself back on the pillow after the ref blew the 90' whistle. He played his first match almost after two and a half week only to get substituted on 53' after he vomiting a heap of blood. But instead of going to hospital he stayed in the medical room of Camp Nou watching Barca win 5-0 over Espanyol. Good news he scored an amazing freekick, bad news, well more gossips, more troubles, worse he probably won't get to play next few matches for sure plus he not only hate to admit but also scared about how sick & drained he feels right now.

Lionel kept on vomiting till he was dry heaving, tears streaked down his cheek without his permission. Celia & other medical staffs consulted with eachother for other alternatives after realizing there is no way they can shift him to hospital considering how nosocomephobic he is, they gave him some painful shots for temporary relief. Leo was literally screaming throughout and had to be hold down.

Gerard , Luis, Neymar all passed by the medical room after the match & Leo waved at them forcing a smile. Pique & Andres came in the room to take a better look at the situation.

"They won't let others get in plus we didn't think you'll be here" Andres said in a low voice.

"No hospital Leo ? seriously ? what are they trying to kill you ?" Pique said accusingly.

"I'm fine hijo de puta" Leo grinned.

"You left your mark on the pitch today & it wasn't just an amazing free-kick, you vomited blood, don't you've any idea how scared all of us got ?" Iniesta said in a bit stern voice.

"Go & take shower then go home, i want to sleep, i'll talk to you guys tomorrow." Leo replied with a tired sigh. He doesn't have the energy to argue right now.

"If you still think its still not a big deal fine do whatever you feel like" Gerard spat then made his way out of the room follow by Andres. "& Cristiano will be very upset & angry after what happened last time" Pique reminded before disappearing.

'shit Cristiano!' He mumbled grabbing his phone from the drawer & typed a quick message.  
*Leo : Hey i suppose you are playing your match i just wanted to say there was an small accident on pitch today. Don't believe what media says, i'm feeling better now, now worries, love you*

\-----

A small nudge woke him from his nap. Leo struggled to open his eyes.

"Time to go home if you feel alright nino" Celia said combing Leo's hair with her fingers.

"Right" Leo tried to sit up rubbing the sleep off his eyes, his whole body spasmed.

"I'd be taking you to hospital" Celia said in a cracked voice.

"Don't get all emotional now, mum i'm fineee" he emphasized on the last word.

"Of course you are" Celia sighed defeatedly looking down at the floor.

The drive home was quiet & uncomfortable. As soon as they reached the house Leo went to his room, took a shower & changed quickly. Thank god its off day tomorrow.

Celia hesitated a bit before opening the door. She thought she has some important talk with him. When she finally entered Leo's room she found Leo sleeping. She sat beside him & stared at her son for a long moment, how can she tell Leo about all these ? She leaned down to place a soft kiss on Leo's forehead with moist eyes then left the room turning the lights off.

\------

"How can you not come Jorge ? He's our son" Celia said on the phone irritatedly. "Does your job means more than him ?" then there were some replies from the other side of the phone.

"hmm..okay...thank you & please hurry, i'm honestly very worried & stressed...love you" then she hung up.

\------

"Leo ? Leo ? wake up" Celia nudge Leo.

"Ughhh....DAY-OFF!" Leo whined.

"The board has called you for a meeting this after-noon, coach, club president all will be there " she informed Leo & suddenly he is wide awake.

"Whaa...? Why ?" He tried to sit up & a sharp radiated through his whole body making him groan in pain. He feels like he got hammered last night.

"Calm down Leo, i'm sure they just want to renew your contract" Celia gave him a soft motherly smile but the sadness is clear on her expressions "here talk these" she handed Leo two pills & a glass of water.

"What for ?"

"Just take them & get fresh real quick, I'll you something to wear" she kissed Leo's temple as he swallowed both the pills.

Leo made his way to the bathroom clumsily. He came out after ten minutes or so, towel wrapped around his waist feeling as sick as he did after waking up. The hot water helped with sore muscles but the morning sickness doesn't seem to go, he wondered why, this has never happened before but he got no time to waste its already 10:30am. He found a pair of jeans & hoodie waiting for him on the bed. Leo quickly does his job to reply to all the texts Cristiano has sent over night reassuring him he's okay, then opened internet to check news & Dios mio! his pics of throwing up blood during match is all over internet, he suddenly feels self conscious & disgusted with the headings & wrong assumptions they've made. He doesn't get it why would they call a board meeting with him after what happened last night instead of handing him hundreds of medical test appointment letters next day, the thought only made him more nervous. He pulled up his undies & got dressed quickly. 

\------

"Can't they wait till i get there ?" Cristiano asked from the other side of the phone.

"I understand you Cris but we can't delay anymore" Celia replied with a shaky voice.

"I talked with him few mins didn't seem like he knows"

"No, he doesn't" Celia replied in a low voice, there was an awkward silence for few seconds then she continued "I'll go & have a check on Leo, we'll leave soon"

"Okay" Cristiano replied sounding as low as Celia.

"Take care carino"

\------

Messi was sitting on the passenger seat checking his whatsapp as he feels too nervous to drive, so when Celia said she'll drive in the first place Leo didn't protested, he'd be so embarrassed to admit he's too nervous to drive to his mum. Celia parked the car in the parking area. On any other off days Leo would gladly come here to do extra works but today he's having a weird negative feeling. He noticed the parking place is almost empty, there is no fans around only a few staffs members loitering plus he got a very weird text from Cristiano few mins ago : 'Ma said you've meeting with the club members today, whatever happens please don't freak out. We are always there for you & Junior loves you very much'. He feels uneasy & his breathing hitched. The campus looks creepy.

"Leo ? What are you thinking carino ? are you feeling sick again ?" Celia shaked him back to reality.

"hmm ? no..i'm alright" he replied getting out of the car obliviously not noticing her concerned look. Celia sighed pitying.

"It won't take long & *i'm here for you*" She gave Leo a soft smile & grabbed his hand leading him like he's a 5 year old. Messi furrowed his eyebrows at his mum but didn't say anything just walked silently. Leo looked around their is no paparazzi today. His phone beeped twice notifying he has messages while the glass gates just slide open, Leo decided to ignore those messages for now & walked straight towards the lift. He's sweating, his palms are getting moist. He's having panic attack! Before the lift's door could close the team's physio coach came running & put his fingers between the closing gates just in time.

"Hey Leo, you here today even the staffs are having off day ?" he asked with a surprised smile. "Dr. Celia you here too"

"I've a meeting with club president & coach Rafael" Leo smiled back at the young coach & Celia did same with a nod. He doesn't know why he was feeling nervous all these time but he feels a bit comfortable now. "You here ? You said staffs are on holiday too" Leo's lips stretched & his dimples were on full display.

"The Under-16 team had their finals today, thats why i'm here, we won" he looked as happy as he would when the senior team would win something big even for the U-16 team. "So this is my floor, bye Leo have a good day" he left with the smile still on his face, however Leo's face stiffened a bit. The lift stopped at 5th floor, he stepped out with shaky legs followed by Celia.

"Mum...-uh why are you coming with me ?" Lionel asked surprised that she's still with him.

"Yes Leo i'll be there too" Celia replied with a voice that Leo has never heard from his mother before. He watch her walk past him, files tucked in her hand.

"Lionel, c'mon now" She called with a hand on the doorknob of a room few meters away from where he is standing staring at her blankly. 

*Can he just get a moment to process everything ?*

\-----

Celia opened the door for him & Messi walked inside trying to keep his appearance normal & a very fake smile on his face, greeting everyone. His anxiety was clear in his voice. He saw Bortomeu, Luis Enrique, the sporting directors some more bald heads whom he has seen before but doesn't know their names & Dr. Martos with some other doctors all with grimmed expression. He watched his mum filling the empty seat beside Dr. Martos. Leo raised an eyebrow questionably unaware that rest of the room is staring at him.

"Leo, why don't you take a seat" Bartomeu gestured towards the empty seat near him. Leo took his seat reluctantly. "So i assume you know why you are here today" he continued but when he noticed Leo staring back at him for answers he looked across the table.

"He doesn't." Celia replied.

"What the hell is going on ?" Leo asked frustrated.

"You were sick again last night" Barto pointed.

"So..?" Messi replied like its a casual thing

"Well...after Dr. Celia, your mother & other members of medical board informed us about your complicated medical condition...& as it has been made clear that their is no possibility that you can play while receiving your treatment the club has decided to give you some time off for your recovery"

"Wha...what complicated medical condition..time off ? what the hell ? is this a sick joke ? wow...mum ?" Lionel looked back & forth Celia & Barto.

"Leo Leo..please calm down, i know its hard for you & so it is for the team. You are the best player of the team & we won't just give you time off for no reason, now you have to understand too we are doing this because we care for you, its for your own good" Lucho intervened. "I've coached you for more than a year & it hurts to see you go through so much pain" Lucho looks more devastated than anyone.

"..bu..but what medical condition ?" Leo babbled

"Before we start Leo please try to understand, we had no choice" Celia pleaded. "You know you'd growth hormone deficiency when you were 10"

"i'm 28 now...my height is perfectly normal" Leo gasped panickedly

"Leo you don't understand your hormone levels are not stable & also their are some other problems but this is the main problem & the treatment will take some time" Celia explained while the bald headed board members kept on staring at Leo blankly while he's almost on the verge to cry.

"How much time ?" Leo asked flatly

"We've given you 6 months to recover, +2 months extra *in case* you need" 

"I don't need any time off" he murmured.

"Thats not yours to decide & also we've to keep in mind about your health insurance" one of the bald guy in black suit said this time.

"So this is what all about ? the money from the health insurance ?" Leo said accusingly, tears burning behind his eyes as he tries to hold them back.

"Leo you mean more than that to the club you are priceless to us & for all the things you've given to us we are grateful for that, though football is a team game you've my huge respect for how responsible you are for your team" Bartomeu said.

"What if i refuse to take the medication ?" Leo glared challengingly at him mother who just sighed defeatedly & let the other doctors explain.

"It'll get worse..vomiting will lead to exhaustion, you'll feel tired all the time, your bones will become weak same with muscles & ligaments, weak immunity, other chronic illnesses, fatigue syndromes.....& in extreme case..well..organ failure" Messi felt like the sky has broke on his head as the doctor kept on rambling.

"Leo i promise its not as bad as it sounds, your situation is not that bad" Celia tried when she saw Leo stiffen.

"Okay" he replied simply. Now it all make sense to him Cristiano's text, his mother's weird behavior. 

"You have to sign this that you agree to our terms ?" someone passed a form towards him

"What terms ?"

"We can't tell press about this but we have to cover up with something about your absence, its just a formality that you agree to it" Barto said.

"Okay" Leo signed the form & got up from his chair to leave, Lucho paced towards him & wrapped him in a tight hug.

"We'll miss you very much & please try to return soon" He pulled back to look at Leo who looks devastated. "Don't cry please, be strong we are with you"

"can't i even come just to train ?" Leo asked with teary eyes Barto said a 'no' from the other side of the room & Enrique gave him an apologetic smile.

\------

The drive home was uncomfortably quiet. Leo sat alone in the back seat. He's feeling so many emotions all at once, his mind is racing with thoughts about future. What about his career ? the fans ? his friends ? Cristiano ? He wonders if his teammates knows about all these he wants to text them but not now, too tired. He rests his cheek against the window glass looking out at the setting sun, he closes his eyes as the last stream of tear rolls down his cheeks.

\------

"Leo ? we are home.." Celia calls opening the back door of the car.

"Leave me alone" Leo murmurs after few seconds. After waiting for few more seconds Celia sighed resigned & made her way alone inside the house to find Cristiano cooking in the kitchen.

"Cristiano ?" 

"Where is he ? How did the meeting go ?" Cris asked with a sad face leaving what he was cooking, obviously he knew the answer.

"In the car" she blinked back her tears as Cristiano made his way towards the range rover parked outside.

"Leo ?" Cristiano cooed opening the door. He saw Leo sitting in the curled up against the window. He raised his hands towards him hesitantly.

"Don't touch me" Lionel swat his hand away glaring at him "You knew everything...you...you fucking know everything". Cris saw how devastated Leo was & also he knew there is nothing in this world that can make him feel better. Unconsciously he got grip of Leo's hand, he got inside the car letting go of Leo's hands & wrapped both his arms around Leo pulling him closer to his chest & this time Lionel didn't fight back.

"I'm sorry." Cris whispered in Leo's ears & let the other man cry in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE WON THE LA LIGAAAA!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE BARCA FANS & I'M SO PROUD OF OUR PLAYERS!!! :') ♥  
> & about this chapter i don't know much about medical stuffs so i put whatever i found on internet  
> i'm too busy watching Barca's victory parade right now that i didn't got the time to reread it so if theres any mistake do point it out & i'll edit it & also let me know what you guys think about this chapter *i'm not very happy with this one* :| this is the 10th chapter & all the response & kudos i got for this story i want to thank everyone ^_^ i never thought i'd come this far...it all just started with fantasy i never thought of writing them down *blushes*
> 
> tumblr : www.mrs-messi.tumblr.com


	11. Chapter 11

"....But you all agreed i can play Copa America" Leo said sniffling holding his back in pain.

"You forced us to agree with you Leo" Celia replied annoyed.

"But...but...barca told press i'll miss the last teo matches of liga due to muscle injury...thats supposed to be okay after 2 weeks....if...if i didn't play the people of Argentina would hate me more....i just wanted to help my team." Leo sniffled more tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Wanted to help the team or prove something to the people of Argentina ? You cannot play why is that not clear to you ?" Celia said frustrated, her harsh words only made Leo cry more. Before Leo could reply there was a brief commotion in the corridor then Cristiano entered the room escorted by two bodyguards. Its been crazy outside the hotel, fans waiting for him since Messi came back from the hospital after getting injured in the hip during the friendly match with Argentina. Leo wasn't supposed to play but then Barcelona forgot to e-mail the Argentine federation about his issues & Tata Martino included Messi in the team. Lionel tried every possible manipulative sentimental words with his mother to get his way through & made her give him medical green light for the tournament. Since Leo is in USA Cristiano made vacation plans in USA after the champions league final with Leo. Now he's standing in-front of the door & he doesn't look very happy, someone must've told him about the tackle on his way to the hotel or he must've read about him going to hospital on internet.

"Hey.." Leo collected himself quickly seeing Cristiano. "Congratulations on your win" Leo gave him a faint smile while his body was screaming in pain. Cristiano's grimed expression didn't change since he noticed Leo's discomfort, he paced towards his boyfriend & pulled him for a hug.

"I don't know what to say. Last three matches you started you ended up being sick, when will you understand Leo ?" Cristiano said combing his fingers through Leo's hair while the other man cried against his body. His voice is a mixture of anger & disappointment. "Do you've any idea....-"

"Please Cristiano" Leo pleaded in a cracked voice. He knows where its going Cristiano will lecture him about how he is not fit to play right now & its something he doesn't want to hear, not now not ever.

Cris sighed resigned and sat beside Leo. "How bad is it ? Does it hurt very much ?" His hand caressed Leo's lower back. The place has swelled up well.

"It did but then they took me to a hospital. The doctors gave me some painkillers now its bearable, nothing is broken." Leo's cries reduced to occasional hiccups.

Three doctors from Argentina board entered the hotel room to do a routine check up. It surprised Cris how quickly Leo's expression changed from crying to he's fine. The doctors checked his lower back, handed Cristiano a heatpad & Leo some pills which he took reluctantly when he caught Celia glaring at him. Then the doctors left taking Celia out of the room closing the door behind them. Leo closed his eyes with a tired huff.

"You okay ?" Cristiano inquired & this time Leo wrapped his arms around him.

"I love you....so much" Leo mewled, Cristiano's lips curved up into a smile.

"Lay on your stomach i'll put the heatpad on your back it'll help" Cris placed a kiss on his hair then guided him on his stomach. "Feels good ?" he asked placing a heatpad on the swelled area.

"hmm"

"..."

"Cris ?"

"Yeaa baby"

"I'm sorry" 

"Leo.." Cristiano warned.

"...but you deserve so much better" Leo tried to hold his tears but his muffled sobs could be heard anyways.

"You think you are not good enough, maybe its true you are not perfect but you are the best for me" Cris taped the headpad on Leo's back & leaned down to place a kiss on his nape.

"I feel sleepy. Sleep with me ?" Leo said in a tired voice.

"Of course nino" Cris just took off his jacket & rested his back against the headboard beside Leo.

"So...i'm not playing anymore ?"

"Are you serious ?" Cristiano asked incredulously. "Go to sleep!" His words were commanding but his hands on Leo's hair were gentle. When he was sure Lionel is asleep he sneaked out of the room cautiously not wanting to wake the other up which he won't since Leo took sleeping pill unknowingly with rest of his medicines.

"Hey" Cris greeted Celia who was talking with the Argentine medical staffs.

"Hii Cristiano" She smiled at him. "Leo is asleep ?"

"Yes...what happened to him ?"

"Cris you know...you know everything. I told you his body can't handle so much stress, even a small tackle can be bad for him. I did warned him but still he traveled such a long distance & played."

"Hey don't put all the blame on him. Football is his life he would obviously want to play when they called him. Barca forgot to let Argentina federation know about his situation, you all lied about his health to the press...you-" He defended Leo because he knows how hard it is for Leo to know the fact that he can't play for a long time & its not because of a broken leg or something. Cristiano understands. Maybe his voice was a bit offensive because Celia looks upset.

"I didn't mean to- i mean since Leo is careless about his self we should be more attentive towards him. He doesn't understand the intensity of the problem because he can't see his legs broken or something, if i was in his place i'd have reacted the same way"

"I understand." Celia placed a hand on Cris' shoulder & gave him a faint smile. "Go to sleep honey, we are travelling back to Spain tomorrow"

"Can't you give his back some more rest ?"

"The club wants him back in Barcelona, they've arranged an air ambulance but still if Leo stays feel sick for travelling we'll delay it."

"Okay..goodnight!"

"Good night honey, if Leo needs something-.."

"I'll be there" Cris walked back in Leo's room & laid against the headboard. He looked at Leo who was sound asleep & let out a sympathetic sigh. He fished out his phone from his pocket & started playing game.

\-------

*3:20 AM*

Leo stirred up in his sleep, after 2 mins he finally woke up to find Cris still awake tired eyes fixed of his phone screen.

"Why are you still awake ?" Leo whispered like 5 other people are sleeping in the room.

"To guard you ? in case you need anything" Cris whispered back. "What woke you up ?"

"Gallons of water that has accumulated in my bladder ? I gotta pee!" Lionel said dramatically.

"Okay i'll help you get up" Cris laughed. He flicked on the switch of the lights then helped Leo get up & took him to the washroom. They snuggled up against eachother after coming back.

"Crisss ???"

"Yea ?"

"Congratulations for winning the CL"

"You've already congratulated me but thanx"

"...but i don't mean it tho, you are just making my life harder ughhh"

"Thats what i think when i go shopping to buy my suit for Ballon d'Or ceremony" Cristiano chuckled. "Now go to sleep, i'm tired"

"...but you won't sleep if i go to sleep btw have you ever wondered if you weren't you know...as good as Cristiano Ronaldo i mean...u know what i mean...i could have your Ballon d'Ors too" Leo giggled.

"Sorry for being such an inconvenient..sleep now" Cris said affectionately.

"but you can have my ballon d'Ors now"

"Leo enough!"

"i don't want to stop playing" Leo said in a shaky voice.

"I know but you'll be back soon" he reassured placing a kiss on his hair.

"No Cris you don't understand. Its just...i can feel my body giving up. I know something is very wrong & i try to prove it wrong but i can't, i feel sick & it scares me now." tears rolled down his eyes again. Hearing it from the doctors is one thing Lionel accepting it is horrifying for Cristiano. He knows Leo couldn't take the news well but at least he knew he didn't care much about anything than playing football but Leo giving up on himself is the last thing he wants.

"You'll be alright, i've faith in you & i believe nothing terrible will happen to you, i know, you are such an amazing person...i won't let anything happen to you ever. *I love you*" Cris tightened his arms around Leo. "Eu te amo*

\---------

"Lionel ? Leo wake up, we've a flight to catch in two hours" a hand nudged him.

"hmm ?" Leo woke up rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Wha-t ?

"we've a flight to catch" Celia repeated.

"What ? toda-..."

"Yes today & i don't want any argument on this" Celia said firmly making Leo frown. "Cris ? honey -"

"Can you please not wake him up now he was up all night for me. I'll wake him up after 30 mins" Leo said irritated.

"umm i'm up" Cris said in a groggy voice rolling on his side.

"See Leo ? He's not irresponsible like you...both of you get fresh i'll have someone send some breakfast & Leo i suggest be fast if you'd like to bid your friends goodbye....& please be careful" Celia left the room. The last part hurt like a bitch, Leo heard it more like 'see your friends for the last time'.

"Leo you okay ?" Cris was sitting behind him now placed a hand on his back. Leo turned back even tho it hurts he hugged Cristiano like he a 3 year old kid.

"I don't want to tell them goodbye...i don't want to leave" he cried. Cris draped both his arms on Leo's lean body dumbfounded not sure what words can comfort him right now so he caressed his back reassuringly. They stayed in the bed hugging each-other like that while Leo cried against Cris' chest not sure how many minutes has gone by till Celia came back. Seeing her son crying like that broke her heart. She stroked Leo's hair soothingly standing behind him.

"Leo everything will be fine, i promise just let us help you & everything will be back normal again" she placed innumerable kisses on Leo's head.

Leo wants to say so many things but all words died in his throat, he fills choked up so the only thing he could do is cry. He feels a bit better though now that he knows his mother is there for him too, its not that he didn't know, its just the negative feelings in his mind is too overwhelming & he needs to be reassured at the same time he doesn't want to bother people he knows they'll leave eventually then & now Cristiano is too precious to him to let him go.

"Your dad will be there too, she has resigned from his job in Argentina he wants to spend time with you now" she continued & the first flood of guilt washes over Leo's body. His dad resigned from his job for him.

"No.." Leo cried.

"What ? baby i didn't get you, if you are feeling sick we can delay our flight"

"No please.."

"Leo is there something wrong ? we can't understand you" Cristiano tried this time pulling away from the hug to look a Leo.

"Noo...i don' know" Leo wanted to say something but he couldn't put the right words together & knowing that its a lost cause now he gave up.

"Then Leo we really need to get going." no response from Leo, Celia looked at Cristiano knowing he's the last person right now who can convince Leo, Cris nodded at her understandingly.

"What about a shower together huhh ? you always like that" Cris said after a moment of silence trying to keep his voice normal.

"hmm" Leo made a small approving sound & Cristiano picked him up carefully making sure he doesn't hurt his back & carried him to the bathroom knowing making Leo walk to the bathroom will be another hassle of 15 minutes.

Leo stood under the shower naked while Cristiano sprayed him with water. The water is warm but he has never felt colder even though Cristiano's warm hand cleaned his body with utmost care. The couple walked out of the bathroom, white towels tied around both their waists just Leo's upper body is also covered with a second towel.

"I'll give you boys the time to change & a housekeeping person left your breakfast there" Celia pointed at the center table & left.

Both of them had a very tiny bit of food since Cristiano was as upset as his partner. He made calls to his mother then talked with Junior. Leo talked with Junior too & the little talk seemed to alleviate his mood. They both got dressed but nothing flashy even for Cristiano. Messi, Cristiano & Celia came across Pepe Costa in the lobby, he Leo's man in Barcelona & is supposed to escort them back there. Before Leo left the hotel he visited the common room where all his teammates are having breakfast & getting ready for training session. It was emotional for him, for all his teammates especially Kun. They've know each-other since 17.

"Your mum told me everything, why didn't you tell me all these before, estupido! i'll make some time & visit you okay" Kun said with teary eyes.

"i'll be waiting for you, don't be late like you always are, time is running" Leo joked

"I won't let you go seriously i won't let him go" Kun pouted at the others & he meant it. Leo laughed even though he isn't feeling happy Kun always cheered him.

The whole team presented him with a jersey & a ball with encouraging messages & signed by all. He thanked Tata Martino & rest of the staffs then made his way outside when Pepe reminded him about being late. Thankfully the car was standing right in front of the door & all the fans & media personnel were cleared from the area. Within 20 mins they came to a private runway where an air ambulance jet was waiting for them. Leo has been given enough shots that he'll be fit for the journey, enough sedative that he can sleep off the next 10 hour.

"What is this for ?" Leo pointed at the bed with all kind of hospital machinery attached to it.

"You can't travel sitting for 10 hours with a hip injury now can you ?" Pepe said.

"No i won't get on that noo"

"but Leo your hip needs rest" Celia tried to explain. Cristiano noticed the stubborn expression on his face & realized there is no way they can get him rest there.

"How about you try to take a nap there for some time then you can sit with us in the second half of the travelling ?" Cris suggested with a smile.

"Nope! i won't" Lionel has made up his mind.

Before anyone could protest Cris gave them the 'i got it' look. "Fine, sit beside me ?"

"obviously" he took the window seat Cristiano sat beside him. Celia & Pepe took their seat & secured the seat-belts. 30 minutes after the flight took off Leo was sleeping again aware of the new lifestyle waiting for him on the other side of the globe. Cristiano picked him up from the seat & laid him on the bed. Pepe & Celia is almost impressed with how skillfully Cristiano can handle Leo's stubbornness. Celia is happy that her son has found such a mature caring person even though that person is a man, his arch rival. Some people are meant to be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS : Leo's father is a coach of an Argentine team here   
> & sorry for so much tears ;___;
> 
> tumblr : www.mrs-messi.tumblr.com


	12. Chapter 12

"Leo wake up our flight has landed, complete your sleep at home baby" Cris placed a soft kiss on Leo's lip. Lionel sat up yawning confused why he isn't sitting beside Cristiano but didn't asked anything, sharp pain on his back is the only feeling he can collect right now.

Lionel & Cristiano are the last people to get off from the jet holding hands together, Cris has wrapped his other arm around Leo's side. The first thing that Leo noticed getting off from the jet is he isn't in El Prat airport. There is no other flights around, no crowd this looks like a one lane private runway and a huge mansion standing right in front of him, judging from the architecture it seems like the backyard of the house.

"Where are we? What is this ?" Leo asked, a hint of surprise & tiredness in his voice.

"The club is very annoyed with your decision of joining national team and now that you got injured again the board members have decided you'll be living here and focus on your recovery....away from people and media while we handle things for you out there." Pepe stated.

"What ? This is insane i won't....i won't live here" Lionel flinched away from Cristiano's embrace. "Mum what is he saying?" He turned towards Celia pointing at Pepe but the only response he got from his mother is a apologetic silence.

"Leo you've no other option, you are not the one to make decisions anymore. We've considered all the alternatives and chose whats best for you.....& you'll like it in here...there's sea around, the house is big and beautiful, you'll have lot of time to relax theres every thing you can ever....." Pepe finally realized its not a good time to brag about the house seeing the shattered look on Leo's face & Cris' grimed expression.

Lionel didn't even notice the sound of sea waves crashing against the boulders. "...but its not my home" he murmured "you can't keep me here...i won't stay here you understand?" Leo finally said out loud but shakily knowing theres no use of confronting, he took steps back until he stumbled on the stairs on the jet but before he could fall Cristiano got him.

"Leo please calm down you'll get sick again." Cris pleaded.

"Celia, Leo you all are here..." Jorge greeted walking towards them from the house. Leo wiped the pool of tears from the corner of his eyes quickly because his dad will be the last person to see him cry. "Cristiano.." he smiled at Cris.

"Pa ?" Leo asked surprised. Jorge gave him a faint smile and pulled him for a tight hug.

"Look at you...what you've done to yourself" Jorge remarked seeing how sick and tired his son looks.

"What are you doing here...why..-"

"Lets go inside then we can talk" Jorge gestured towards the house.

"No i...-"

"Leo you can keep doing this all day but it won't change anything" Celia said annoyed.

"Leo we'll sort it out later if you don't like it in here but lets go inside first everybody is tired" Cristiano nudged him a little hard than he intended to emphasize his point of 'walk forward' Leo looked up at Cris in disbelief. He finally gave up & walked in small steps. He stopped at the steps in front of the door. He knows pretty well things won't be same for him the moment he steps inside since the club doesn't want him to make much public appearance he'll hardly get out of here, hell he doesn't even know where he is. It makes him utterly uncomfortable & gives him panic attacks when things go out of his control and he doesn't know what to expect.

"Leo.. " Celia bought him back to reality, he has no idea for how long he was standing still in front of the door that Pepe held open for him. Leo walked in. The living room is huge, whoever did the interior decoration took his time to turn it into a master piece but nothing looks appealing to Leo, he feels cold even inside the warm house, his back is hurting like hell & he feels like throwing up. Pepe & Jorge put down the luggages.

"Leo your bedroom is upstairs but i've arranged a room here, stay there till your hip heals" Jorge said but Leo walked towards the stairs.

"Where are you going ?" Celia asked.

"I can't see you people right now" Leo just wants to be in his room and curl up under his blanket & when he wakes up the nightmare will be over.

"Lionel!" Celia scolded but Leo tried to ignore the pain and climbed up the stairs as fast as he could while Cristiano followed him.

"Leo..please listen to me...please..-" Cris got his hand from behind.

"Don't'! ...just don't" Leo pulled out his wrist from the other's grip. He didn't want to do this especially to Cristiano, its none of his fault yet he couldn't stop himself from pushing him away. Cris nodded understanding and stepped back, its better to leave him alone right now if he was in Leo's place he'd want the same.

"What happened?" Celia asked when she saw a distressed Cristiano coming down.

"He...umm wants to be alone" Cris replied in a low voice rubbing his face.

"...Why don't you go to a room & take some rest then" Celia said noticing the other's tiredness.

"I think i'll take a walk on the beach.."

"Don't wander off you don't know the island well yet & be back before lunch time"

"Ok.." Cristiano shrugged and walked out. He isn't sure how many minutes has passed by but kept dragging his legs with himself. The white sand under his feet, warm sun over his head, sound of sea waves crashing against the shore this is a place where Cris will bring Leo for their honeymoon not to put him on exile. He stopped when he came across the woods. He stared at the forest blankly. Without thinking he stepped inside the forest, sound of sea waves fading behind. He looked around his eyes were greeted by tall trees only, the ground mostly made of rocks and big boulders. A high pitched noise by a bird or something bought him back to reality, he's sure there is no wild animals here but still the rational part of his brain is telling him to get the hell out of there. Cristiano turned back to return to the house but he can't figure out from which side he came here, there were trees & trees everywhere & everything looked same. He took out his phone from his jeans pocket.

"No network...great!" He cursed. He held his phone high trying to get a signal & unconsciously moved backwards till he crashed with a huge rock. Thats when he realized sound of water is coming from the other side of it but the rock is big enough to block his view. This can't be the sea waves, not so far here in the woods or he has come to the other end of the island? Cristiano wondered. He can stand on the rock and check for the way out or follow the coast line till he reaches the house he decided. Cristiano started climbing up & after great struggle he finally climbed up successfully but the scene on the other side made his jaw drop. Theres a cave and a water rushing down from it. Its beautiful. He never thought he'll find such a beautiful hideaway in here. Cris took off his t-shirt & started unbuckling his belt. This is the saddest day of his life yet he came across the most beautiful place he has seen on earth. So unexpected. Just like his meeting with Leo, it was unexpected, the place wasn't this beautiful but the person was, eyes bright with kindness heart full of love and warmth but now he's lost in sadness. A mocking smile left his mouth as a tear rolled down from his eyes, he lowered himself in the cold water. He doesn't have the energy to swim so he just floated on the water staring at the clear sky & the dark pink flowers blooming against the cave. 'Why Leo has to suffer from all this pain ? Why does he have to leave football while it was the only thing he lived for, the only thing that gave him confidence? I would have handled the situation better. He's so young and emotionally unstable....he can't have a fulfilling career in modelling or in movies but i can. God, why him ?' Cristiano's tears mixed up with the water. He got out of the water when his legs can't keep him afloat anymore. He put on his clothes on his wet body and followed the narrow stream of water between the rocks that lead him to the coast. Cristiano walked straight for at least 20 mins before he could see the house.

Cristiano entered the house wet & shaking, hands folded across his chest.

"Where have you been ? oh my godd...what happened to you ?" Celia rushed towards Cristiano, Jorge & Pepe looked at him confused.

"Just went to take a dip in the sea" Cris shrugged. Nobody will ever know about the beautifully sad moment Cristiano spent alone there.

"Jorge & Pepe went looking for you.." Celia sighed "come with me" she lead Cristiano to another room. She handed Cris some dry clothes from the cupboard. "I love you as much as i love Leo. Don't ruin yourself." Celia said drying Cris' hair with a towel while Cris replied with a small 'hmm'. "Come downstairs & eat something" she said leaving the room. She feels sorry for Cristiano as much as she does for her own son.

"..& Leo ?"

"I..haven't checked on him yet"

"He's been alone all these time ?" Cristiano quickly wrapped the towel around his waist & changed into dry clothes. He almost ran past Celia & stopped in front of Leo's room. He pushed the door open & let himself in closing it behind, the lights were off, sunlight blocked by the curtains but he can make it out Leo is not in his bed. He checked the bathroom panickedly but Leo wasn't there too. Just when he was about to leave the room he heard crying noises & obviously it was Leo's voice, his eyes looked for Leo in the dark room & there Leo was lying on the floor curled up to himself. Cris walked to him & kneeled down beside him.

"Leo..." Cris called out "Lionel..please..-"

"Noo..Don't! please leave me alone" Leo said weakly.

"Leo listen to me..." Cris nudged him a little "god your skin is burning with fever" he gasped but Leo didn't responded, he could hardly keep his eyes open so Cris carried him up & placed him on bed quickly. "Maa..." Cristiano screamed for help.

"Don't please...the pain feels good..its good.." Leo said wearily but it couldn't stop Cristiano from calling for help again. Celia, Jorge & Pepe rushed into the room.

"What happened ?" Jorge asked worriedly sitting on the edge of the bed while Celia switched on the lights.

"He's burning with high fever...Leo ?" Cris patted lightly of his cheeks, whose head has rested on his lap. 

"Let me see.." Celia placed her hand on Leo's forehead then checked his pulse & put lights on his eyes. "Get the fast aid box fast". Jorge returned to the room after a minute with a first aid box & fished out the thermometer. Leo tried to cringe away when he tried to put it in his mouth making Cristiano hold him still.

"Everything will be alright..carino i promise" Cristiano tried to calm him down desperately holding the thermometer in place ignoring Leo's muffled protest. The thermometer beeped, Celia took it out from her son's mouth. The reading says 104°C fever. She prepared an injection without wasting a minute. Leo let out a painful cry as the medicine entered his body.

"..can't do this to..me.." Lionel mumbled subconsciously, Cristiano stroked his hair soothingly murmuring encouraging words to calm him till he fell asleep which didn't take much time. He covered Leo with a blanket, switched off the lights & joined Jorge, Celia & Pepe talking in the balcony.

"Leo's fever is not viral its because of shock. I've given him a high dosage of paracetamol & diazepam, he'll sleep till tomorrow morning...at least" Celia sighed sadly.

"yeaa because thats the only way now, if things get out of hand just give him sedatives & knock him out" Cristiano pointed at all of them accusingly.

"We appreciate your concern but you may not know, it saved him from feeling the pain of those hormone injections tonight. You were not there during his childhood, those injections were quite painful...especially on the first day you've to take them, especially if you've to take them everyday." Jorge said devastatedly.

"His BP & sugar level is too low, i'm prescribing him intravenous fluids....Pepe is you will..." Celia took a deep breath.

"Sure...i'll get them" Celia left once she got the confirmation leaving Pepe & Cristiano alone.

"..So what are you gonna do next ?" he asked Cristiano.

"We planned of spending our vacation together so i'll stay till i've to join the...umm team"

"I'm sorry...for both of you" Pepe gave him a sympathetic look & left. Cristiano lost the track of the time long ago, probably nobody in the house has noticed when the moon has come out. Cristiano sighed & walked back in the room. He took off his t-shirt & slid under the blanket. On any other day they would be making love but tonight he wrapped an arm across Lionel's chest feeling it rise & fall, listening to his heart beat he closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can't win always but the important thing is to enjoy doing what you love...ughh i can't believe Leo actually did it ;__; how much emotional exhaustion & pressure someone has to be in to take a decision like that right after the match. He did so much for Argentina yet they treated him like a trash & finally managed to break him, finally he gave up. I really hope he changes his decision & comes back. #NoTeVayasLeo   
> I'd written half of the chapter earlier & rest crying so excuse me their will probably be lots of mistakes....
> 
> tumblr : www.mrs-messi.tumblr.com


	13. Chapter 13

Lionel's whole body spasmed as consciousness kicked in. He groaned in pain trying to move his limbs when the sharp IV syringe in his hand pricked into his flesh. He blinked his eyes open instinctively. His hands feel too heavy to raise so he turned his face instead to see an IV channel attached to his hand. He closed his eyes with a tired huff. Even after straight 10 hours of sleep he feels drained. He turned his face to the other side when his phone kept on the nightstand vibrated. He stretched his hand with great difficulty to get his phone but failing to reach the nightstand on the other side of the bed so he pushed his body to roll over minding his other hand to grab his phone.

There were innumerable missed calls from his friends & his whatsapp was flooding with messages. Leo decided to reply to some of the texts. Geri & Neymar was probably freaking out. Leo was about to open the message but the bathroom door clicking open diverted his attention. He looked up to see Cristiano coming out of the bathroom, bare chest, the white towel wrapped really low on his waist beautifully contrasting against his tanned skin. The sunlight coming through the glass window reflecting against the water droplets on Cris' body making him look no less than a greek god.

"Umm...Cris.." Leo said in a groggy voice.

"Leooo!!" the other's face lit up instantly. Cristiano walked till the bed then grabbed his clothes & put on his plain grey t-shirt & shorts quickly before sitting beside Leo, legs stretched out. "Feeling better carino ?" he placed a hand against Lionel's cheek & his other half snuggled towards him closing his eyes, responding with a small 'hmm'.

Leo woke up nestled between Cristiano's lap about 30 minutes later. He has no idea when he fell asleep again. Cristiano had his chin rested on Leo's shoulder blade. Leo placed his hand that now feels like of 100kg on his cheek just like the other one did to him few minutes ago & clasped his other hand that had the IV attached with Cristiano's on their lap. Even though he can't see Cris' face he can tell the other one is stressed. Cristiano stared at their intertwined hands, he wanted to say something but he couldn't form a sentence instead he tightened his arm around Leo's waist.They didn't talk for a long moment.

"I'm scared" Leo said finally with shaky voice. "I feel so weak...so scared to lose you"

"No you are not.. - & you'll never lose me, i've followed you to 8 ballon d'Or ceremonies...i'll follow you to hell too." Cristiano said in muffled voice, hiding his face between Leo's shoulder blade & neck.

"...i feel like sinking...drowning in a ocean i can't see but i can feel it & theres no one to save me" Lionel said in a cold voice ignoring his childish boyfriend.

"I'll save you, everytime i'll hold your hand & won't let go" Cristiano carefully bought up their joined hand & placed a kiss on the ring he gave to Lionel "..like that song...wait what was it again ? Oh yeaa...if you feel you're sinking, I'll jump right over into cold, cold water for youuuuu" Cristiano singsonged. Lionel couldn't help but giggle a little at his silly boyfriend.

"Cris stopp, my ears are hurting" Leo said affectionately.

"& ALTHOUGH TIME MAY TAKE US INTO DIFFERENT PLACES, I'LL...what was the lyrics next ? Oh i remember...STILL BE PATIENT WITH YOUUU....& I HOPE YOU KNOWWW!!! I WON'T LET GO!!!"

"CRISSS!!!"

"WHAT ??"

"Do you've some kind of brain damage?" Leo said failing to keep himself from laughing. "My whole family is downstairs & i think nobody will want their son to get married with a crazy dude"

"What did i do ? I just told you what i'll do for you plus its a nice song....your side chick Neymar loves Justin Bieber, doesn't he?" Cristiano said dramatically, pouting but he feels so happy inside to see Leo smiling. Leo really needs someone who can make him smile & feel comfortable when he feels this low & nobody can do it better than Cristiano. Cristiano finds a peace of his own when he can make Lionel smile.

"Shitt Neymar...." Lionel cursed "I gotta talk with him so they know everything is alright" his eyes looked for his phone that was lying in the middle of the bed.

"See ? I always knew you've a thing for that Brazilian" Cristiano exasperated trying to get Leo's phone with his leg.

"I don't have 'a thing' for him or anyone other than you....thank you" Lionel picked up the phone & busied himself.

"Then why'd you let him hang all over you all the time ? bet you like all those affection...&..& the other day at the night club he had his arm wrapped around your waist. Yes, i noticed! I was feeling like go & grab him by his collar & punch him hard on his face &....."

"Cris..!" Leo knows how possessive his boyfriend is & how he keeps an eye on him when they hit clubs or parties but he also knows he's just doing it right now to get him all riled up.

"LET ME FINISH! ....& on the UEFA best player award ceremony Gianni Infantino was staring at your ass like he could..."

"I know that...that was inappropriate like seriously my ass is like...is it like...some kind of eye candy or something that people keep....-" Leo said jokingly, deciding he can play along a little bit just to give the other person a little peace of mind. 'Huhh boludo you think i don't realize that you are doing this just to make it better for me' Leo thought.

"People doesn't need to take their time & stare at your ass, it just attracts attention" Cristiano stated cutting him off.

"Oiiiii" Lionel protested blushing "....& will this mother fucker pick up his phone" he complained turning towards Cristiano when Neymar didn't pick up his phone on the third try. He flinched a little when the IV syringe pricked inside his skin again.

"I've already called him...& Geri...& Andres, you can stop now" Cristiano said dramatically.

"Ughh thank you...when did you call ?" Lionel huffed relieved. He opened his facebook instead.

"Last night. After you...fell asleep" Cristiano replied in a much serious voice.

"Hmm tell me more..." Leo said absentmindedly scrolling down his facebook timeline.

"About what ?"

"What happened & all.."

"You don't remember?"

"...till you came back & then i felt people manhandling me, then woke up like this...why am i on IV ?" Lionel said eyes glued on the phone screen. He opened his official page then to check if anyone from his management team has made any promotional post or wrote any statement for absence without telling him again.

"You were burning with fever. You were saying things subconsciously" Cris frowned remembering how things went last night.

"Oh my god...." Lionel suddenly said.

"...yeaa you scared us all" Cristiano replied. 

"Noo...look at what they've written." He offered his phone to Cristiano. Lionel looks pretty shaken.

Cristiano took the phone from Leo's hand & started reading the post. Even he was baffled after reading it. They looked at eachother shocked. "I need to know what this is all about" Lionel said getting out of his bed tugging on the IV ignoring all the pain. The moment he tried to stand, his legs felt like jello.

"Lionel wait.." Cristiano walked to the other side of the bed "...for fucks sake stop hurting yourself!" He got hold of both of Leo's hands stopping him from trying to get the IV syringe out of his body.

"Broken hip with critical condition...do you know what that means ?" Leo yelled at Cristiano. Lionel used all his force he has right now to pull out his hands from Cristiano's grip but only making it worse as the needle came out tearing his skin. Within a blink of an eye both of their hands were covered with blood.

"Oh my god Leo i'm so sorry...so sorry...so sorry" Cristiano babbled panicked.

"Will you shut up! Its not even your fault." Clearly yelling isn't working as Lionel noticed the guilt on other's face. "Cris, its not your fault. I should have been more careful. Please don't get upset, you are the only support i've right now" Lionel reassured but the other person seemed like he could curl up into a ball & shut the world out right now. "Baby i know you didn't mean to, you were just trying to protect me" he hugged Cristiano. "Help me stop the bleeding & call the others for me ?" Lionel said softly cupping his face. Cristiano nodded looking straight into Leo's dark brown eyes. He grabbed some sterile cotton from the medicine tray that was kept on the nightstand & pressed it on the bleeding area, Leo hissed in pain.

"I know baby...i'm so sorry..." Cristiano comforted & murmured an apology again.

"I still can't believe they'll lie like this about me...." Lionel muttered obliviously.

"Its alright...calm down now...i'm sure its a mistake, someone from your management group has published it mistakenly & nobody has noticed it yet, okay ? Thats what has happened....we'll go down now & sort it out" Cristiano said taking in deep breaths. He noticed Leo is just wearing his sleep clothes & his pajama shorts are too short so he draped a blanket on him before changing the cotton padding from the wounded place.

"Hold it there okay, i'll be right back ?" Cristiano gave Lionel a soft smile then went back to the bathroom with his phone & locked the door. He has no idea when was the last time he checked his phone & to be honest even he finds this whole incident fishy & confusing. Some media manager will write 'Lionel Messi suffering a broken hip' by mistake is no way believable to him. & even if he did, it'll be all over news so someone must have noticed.

"Ohh nononononoo...shit.." Cristiano eyes went wide in shock when he opened the official site of Marca then of MD to double check. There is no way this can be happening. It really is the headline of every news website followed by 'Messi will be missing half of the new session'. Okay, he needs to calm down. There's no way he's going to tell Leo all this is true, he has just recovered from the shock of last night, he has to keep himself calm for Leo. He'll go out, act like he knows nothing & stop him from seeing his parents & Pepe first then when Leo'll be resting he can go downstairs & talk with Jorge & Pepe. Yes thats what he'll do, Cristiano decided.

Leo turned his head towards him when he heard the bathroom door click open. Cristiano too looked at him. Their eyes met & they gave eachother a warm smile that conveys thousand words without saying them out loud.

"Let's go ?" Lionel mumbled turning his head to the other side blushing. More than two & half years in relationship still Cristiano can make him blush like a 14 year old girl talking to her crush for the first time.

"Or...stay here for a minute longer ?...please?" Cristiano crawled to the other end of the bed where Leo was sitting. He ducked his head in Leo's lap snuggling closer.

"Are you okay?" Lionel asked worriedly carding his soft curls.

"Hmmm..yess i just want to spend some time with you when you are not having a maniac episode or knocked out with drugs." Cristiano said in a muffled voice literally purring into other's touch.

"...but Cristiano...they...we've to talk with Pepe. They....-"

"Its a mistake! & even if its not, you are not gonna play anytime soon. When you'll be ready we can always say you recovered faster than expected....you gotta chill Leo" Cris said in a little annoyed tone. He knows how hard his words are going to hit Leo but he has no other option & as he expected, Leo's gentle caresses stopped. He looked up at Leo to find him trying to hold his tears back & Cris feels so guilty once again. "hey...i didn't mean it like that..." Cristiano sat up face to face with Leo. "I mean you should relax & focus on your recovery, this is a very minor issue you don't have to worry about this, okay i'll tell Pe- .."

"No its alright, i understand....its just stupid me, getting all emotional." Lionel gave him a faint smile even though his eyes are glassy. A part of Cristiano is dying to see him like this & wants to tell him all the truth but the other part feels proud to have Lionel as his boyfriend who is probably breaking into pieces inside but still acting like he's okay. "Tell me what you want to do & we'll do that today, try to make up for your ruined vacation. If you want to go for a walk on beach, we can do that or play fifa...or if you just want to stay here & relax....all are fine for me." Lionel sounded excited but his eyes were lying.

"I'd like to spend my day with my love...how is your back now ?"

"Its lot better than yesterday" Leo replied stroking his hair again.

"Good....you'll see everything will get better like this soon" Cristiano said hopefully sitting up. "Your hand is alright now"

"Yep"

"Come here then...make yourself comfortable" Cristiano plopped himself on the pillows & Lionel snuggled against his chest. They lay there like that for some moment without saying much occasionally caressing eachother. Lionel fell asleep but Cristiano couldn't. He slipped out of the bed quietly & sneaked out of the room.

"Hey Cristiano.." Jorge greeted when he saw the other one coming.

"What the hell is this shit ?" Cristiano snapped holding out his phone that shows the article. Pepe looked at the phone Cristiano was holding then looked up at him then back to Jorge again.

"Cristiano you would like to sit down for this" Celia said coning from kitchen, Pepe lead him to another room which looks more like an office. Probably Celia's work place. All four took a seat. Rest three looked at eachother confused what to say.

"...say it already!" Cristiano demanded.

"Cristiano since you've shown us the article i assume you've read it too so i'm gonna skip it to the

"Cristiano since you've shown us the article i assume you've read it too so i'm gonna skip it to the next part.I understand you probably have too many questions but this was the easiest way to cover up Leo's absence & with his hip injury it got easier. He can have six months off plus extra two months if he needs." Pepe said casually.

"There was a x-ray report, it shows someone else's broken spine. It's a lie." Cristiano slammed his hand on the table angrily. "Leo knows about this...I'll tell him everything." he pointed at them.

"Cristiano you promise you won't tell him anything. If Leo knows the truth he'll hate me forever....he'll deny his medications & you know what'll happen then...you know!" Celia said desperately. Now Cristiano is torn between what to do, this is a big lie about him, Leo deserves to know this & on the other hand if he knows he'll act like a teenage rebel & Cristiano won't let him hurt himself anymore.

"Okay...okay fine i won't tell him anything but if he finds out about this & trust me he will know about this of his own, he'll never trust any of you again." Cristiano finally gave in without having a choice.

"What does Leo knows about this ?" Pepe asked.

"He saw the post on his facebook page". Jorge rubbed his face resigned after hearing Cristiano.

"What is he doing now? Does he know anything more ?" 

"No...just the post but he thinks its a mistake. Well, i made him think its a mistake & right now he's sleeping" Cristiano sighed.

"Excellent work Cristiano...now when he wakes up you'll convince him that it was a mistake none of us noticed & after you bought it to our notice, the post has been deleted. You'll not tell him about the story we are selling & to the rest of the world Lionel has a broken spine -...."

Before Pepe could finish his sentence they were all startled by a loud crashing noise outside the door. All four walked to the door to find Leo collecting himself after crashing with a small table, flower vase lying on the floor.

"Leoo !?" Celia said shocked. Lionel tried to take another step back but there was no place left between him & the table.

"Lionel..." Jorge called out rather calmly in case he hasn't heard anything but obviously he did.

"I won't let you do this. I won't let you lie to people like this..." Lionel finally managed to speak.

"Leo its not how it sounds like...listen to us" Pepe said.

"Noo..." he didn't even wait to listen to what they had to say he ran up the stairs to his room. Cristiano just stood blankly between them confused what to say, he didn't support the lying part neither did he wanted Leo to suffer.

"Lionel please open the door." Celia knocked on the door.

"Leo please...we can talk about this" Pepe smacked the door louder.

"You lied to people! You gave them fake medical reports & claimed them to be mine!" Leo yelled from the other side of the room. "This is fraud & i'll tell them the truth!"

"We have to get a hold of him before he does something...." Pepe said to Jorge & Celia.

"Get out of the way..." Cristiano said gritting his teeth. "Lionel i know you are mad..- at us but - " Cristiano said kicking the door "..- i really had no idea about this whole thing...- i don't care what they think or - plan to do but i need to see you" he said desperately because he is sure Leo is probably crying right now. One hard kick on the lock & the door opened. All four rushed into the room to see Leo typing on his phone while tears rolled down his cheeks.

"What are you doing ?" Pepe asked.

"Telling people the truth" Leo said trying to keep his voice strong & firm.

"Take away his phone" Pepe said bolting towards him. Within seconds Pepe & Jorge was fighting him, trying to hold him down & get the phone.

"Lionel you don't understand, it has been made official you can't change it now....the club has given their statement, its all over media & the insurance has already processed their papers!" Jorge said struggling with him.

"His hip is injured & he hurt his hand real bad about an hour 'n half ago, let him go..." Cristiano snapped. His words probably gave Pepe an idea as he gave Leo's swelled hand a tight squeeze. Leo screamed out in pain letting go of his phone.

"Oh my god please stop hurting him.." Celia pleaded almost crying. Pepe let go of his hand, Jorge took the phone and both of them left Leo curled up on floor crying in pain. Cristiano literally ran towards Leo shoving Pepe off him & collected him on his lap.

"Lionel i'm here...i know baby you are scared...." all of Cristiano's comforting words were overshadowed by the rest three yelling in the room. Leo curled up to himself in his lover's arm and covered both sides of his head with his hands instinctively.

"Lionel ? Lionel!" his father called out sternly the way he used to when he was maybe 10-11 years old before he started with his lectures about how he can't have rest after coming back from tiring training sessions or when he used to cry after getting kicked & bullied by taller, stronger boys till he eventually stopped complaining. Leo doesn't want to remember those things, he doesn't want to feel the physical pain or the emotional torture again but still he looked up at his father who hooked an arm around his neck & made him look into his eyes.

"You will not talk about getting out of here till you've recovered. All your social media will be looked after by Pepe from now on. You'll take your treatment seriously & return being the best again. No more phone or internet for you, you can talk with your friends whenever you want to but under our vigilance. Now stop being such a pansy and man up, learn to face the reality." The grip his father has got on his neck hurts now, his words hurts, everything hurts.

"You WILL NOT talk to him like this sir! he's not just your son anymore." Cristiano slammed away Jorge's hand of Leo's neck angrily. "He has gone through a lot in his childhood. He already has a lot on his plate right now & i won't allow you to put more stress on him. He is a brave strong guy, situation has bought him to this. You people should be supportive to him no matter how stubborn or annoying he gets. All these luxuries in your life you are enjoying in because of him." Cristiano gestured towards the lavishly decorated room "All he has to do is just ask me once & i'll take him away from here."

"Please....please stop" Lionel said in barely audible voice . "You don't care about me anymore....all you care about is the money you'll get from the insurance, the compensation from the club. Football is the only thing i ever loved. I've worked so hard for it! ....but you turned my career into your personal business. Then he came along..." Leo tightened his grip on Cristiano's t-shirt. "....whole world called him my arch rival but he made me feel more loved & cared for than you ever did." "Please leave....i don't want anything just give me a little peace...leave!!" He is sad & angry but the fight has left his body.

"Didn't you hear him? He wants you all to leave." Cristiano snarled at them. Pepe & Jorge both stormed out of the room without apologizing to Leo leaving Celia who kneeled down beside Leo rubbing his sides soothingly. Leo tried to stop crying but his eyes betrayed him so he ducked his face against Cristiano's chest. Cristiano gave Celia a thumbs up & she nodded understandingly. Cristiano has got him. She left the room so they can have a little privacy.

"I'm so sorry carino.." Cris whispered after a long moment. "....but you know i'll be here for you always right ?"

"No...you'll be gone soon"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not very sure of this chapter, i wrote half of it ages ago...sorry to bore u guys, it got so long ;__; but still thank u for all the love. Hope u guys will like this chapter...;__;
> 
> tumblr : www.mrs-messi.tumblr.com


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : this chapters contains mention of self-harm & suicidal behaviour. If you are triggered by such things please don't read it!!!

Lionel woke up disoriented. His head felt like someone has banged it against a wall till he passed out. Last night has been rough, the last three weeks has been rough since Cristiano left. With Cristiano things were easier even though Leo became a little more passive after he overheard his conversion with his parents & Pepe but still Cristiano tried to talk with him about his anxiety, made sure he's eating well & taking his medicines on time, he held him while his mother would push those painful injections in his body & never complained when he bit on Cristiano's shoulder to muffle his cries. Cristiano will eventually have to leave isn't something Lionel wasn't aware of, he was just not ready. Cristiano could extend his stay for three weeks only.

Three weeks with Cristiano, three weeks without Cristiano. 1 month 2 weeks without touching the ball or the man he loves or seeing his friends, locked in a stupid island.

His relationship with his parents have deteriorated a lot in past weeks. No, not deteriorated he stayed so lost in his own world he simply didn't care about what his parents has to say. He has stopped crying in front of them, stopped showing any kind of interest about his health, stopped coming down in the dining hall to have dinner, he has stopped getting out of his room.

At first he would only talk to his parents when its absolutely necessary, mostly calling them when he felt too sick but stopped that too when he felt he's just bothering them and started responding to them with 'yes' 'no' 'hmm' or 'okay' then with depression came frustration. He remained agitated most of the time & started yelling at his parents & asked them to leave him alone & later would wallow in his own guilt. Last night he crossed his limit when he threw his dinner that his mum bought. The plate smashed against the wall & shattered into pieces, food scattered all over the expensive carpet. Celia was genuinely scared of her son's behavior, scared even to approach him so she just cleaned up the mess silently while tears rolled down her face & left Lionel alone.

Cristiano doesn't come in his mind either these days or it does all the time but only the memories they've made together not what is he doing right now or patiently waiting for his calls maybe thats why he acted to be asleep for last two days when Cris called him. Or it simply killed Lionel to say goodbye to him after a 20 minutes call. Jorge took away his phone & laptop, Cristiano would call him once everyday after his afternoon training session on the lan phone. Their talks became shorter everyday because what is Leo supposed to say ? It has become clear to both of them that Lionel is sick & doesn't engage himself in any kind of activity & Cristiano has just returned from training after their first 3-4 calls so Leo doesn't see the point of asking same questions everyday. Its funny when both of them stayed busy with their hectic schedule but still called eachother at least 10 times a day to ask those same stupid questions, hours of talking & hundreds of cheesy messages never seemed enough but now Leo finds them pointless. Sometimes he hears Junior's voice in the background & wants to talk with him. Those are the days he uses the phone for the longest.

The world would call him selfish, cold hearted if they knew but nobody knows the pain he's carrying inside, consuming him whole, making the hole in his heart a little bigger everyday, dragging him further into the darkness. The part that kept him sane has been stripped off from him. His football. His Cristiano.

He blinked the tears off his eyes & kept on staring at the blank ceiling. Its still a little dark outside...4:30 am or 5 maybe? He hardly sleeps at night these days 2-3 hours between 2am to 4am. Its better this way, no sleep at night means spending rest of the day sleeping which means no eating, not having to face the worried & guilt full face of his father, not seeing the tired & upset face of his mother. He doesn't want to build this distance with his parents, he doesn't want to yell at them, he knows they are just trying to help but its just the heat of the moment, its his subliminal mind & when he comes to realization its always too late.

He tried to turn his face but his neck is still burning. Things got physical last night, Jorge had to pin him down against the bed after he tried to throw a water bottle at them. Leo was too weak to keep on fighting so eventually he had to give up. Celia alters his injections between his hands, thighs & neck. The way his father pressed his hands against his shoulder to keep him in place he's pretty sure it has left marks, at one point he was choking. He was crying, screaming to let him go but Jorge & Celia kept on muttering encouraging words to him. They are naive if they think their words can trick his mind but he can't miss his injections no matter what. The liquid pushed in his neck burns his skin, he kept thrashing his legs. When they were done with him he was nothing but a mess of sweat & tears. He curled to himself at the same time gasping for air. After 15 mins of hustling he was beyond exhausted. He has given up on his pride, he's beyond shame & pain.

When he managed to move his head he noticed the IV plug is detached from his hand. He tried to move his head again closing his eyes, trying to get accustomed to the pain, to feel the burning sensation. He rolled to his side & hauled himself up. Lionel made his way to the bathroom. He splashed the cold water in his face. He stared at his own reflection for a long moment. All he sees is a dark future ahead, a body trying to make it to the end of the day with a dead mind, just a wastage of space & time, always disappointing people, he doesn't notice the muscle mass he has lost in these days, his skin has turned even more pale & dry, glassy red eyes, his rib-cage poking out of his chest, his hair has grown considerably long he can use his hair stylist now. The cold water hitting his hand bought him back to reality. He forgot to turn off the tap & the running water has flooded the bathroom sink. He turned off the tap as fast as he could & stopped the water from draining out by clogging the sink hole with a plug. He dipped his face in the cold water holding his breath. 10 sec. 15 sec. 20 sec. He pulled himself back gasping for air, quickly taking out the plug from the sink hole. He looked at his reflection on the mirror again. Water droplets dropped on the floor from his chin, he was still panting. His beard is growing again, the last time he shaved was three days ago when his mother did it for him. Lionel decided he would shave the growing scruff on his face since he thinks his mum surely won't do it for him after the way he behaved last night. *The way he behaved*. Leo grabbed the shaving gel & the razor from the bathroom shelve thinking about what he did last night. He rinsed the gel on his cheeks till it turned into foam, he absentmindedly bought the razor to his cheek. He threw a plate at his mother. The mother who always put his needs first before hers, he tried to hurt the mother who cuddled him when he was hurt, his mum probably hates him right now. She'll surely tell this to Cristiano then he'll hate him too. Nobody will want to stay with such a violent person. Oh my god, he won't let him see his little Junior anymore.

"Ouchh.." Lionel yelped in pain. He put a little too much pressure on the razor. The cut stings. He ignored the blood coming out of it & finished shaving quickly. He washed off rest of the foam that was still on his cheeks and used his regular aftershave lotion, not antiseptic for the cut. The bleeding has stopped already so no need to fuss over it. Leo picked up the razor again instead to check its shiny blades. He bought up his other hand to check the prominent blue veins on his pale skin. How many days has it been ? He has lost the track of time & suddenly he's very much interested to know, wants to know how many days it has been since he's here, since he touched the ball. He can just run the razor across his wrist, deep enough with all his power & all his sufferings will be over. The cold blade of the razor touched his skin then he felt the sharp, burning sensation. Lionel suddenly felt someone is watching him, he looked up at the mirror. He jolted backwards throwing away the razor, gasping when he saw Cristiano standing right next to him with Junior. They both have a warm smile on their face.

He is hallucinating.

His mind is tricking him to see things that weren't there. It won't let him live, it won't let him die either. Lionel is too scared by this point, what was he going to do just now ? He ran back to his room & jumped in his bed, covering himself with the blanket. With every passing second the burning sensation got stronger, he saw a little blood coming out from the broken skin but he's not sure how bad it is right now but somehow he finds this very soothing. He tightened his grip around the hem of the blanket & pressed his face against the pillow to muffle his cries.

\------------------------

"Leo....Lionel ?" Celia nudged him slowly. Leo rolled over on his back, forcing himself to open his eyes. He has probably fallen asleep crying again.

"Ummp what!?" Lionel replied groggily. He was still holding the blanket tightly, covering whole of his body till his neck.

"Cristiano has called & he wants to talk with you" Celia said holding out the phone & suddenly Leo is very much awake. The sun is shining bright outside & he's sure he hasn't slept for more than 2-3 hours so its probably 8:00 am or 9. Cristiano never calls him so early in the morning. Leo's anxiety build up is making it hard for him to breathe. Has his mother told him everything already ? "...Leo he's waiting for your reply". He carefully stretched out his unmarked hand to take the phone.

"He-hello ?" Lionel said in a shaky voice.

"Lionel...god, finally, Leo are you okay?" Leo could hear Cristiano sigh in relief on the other side of the phone.

"Ermm yes...wh-why would you ask that?" He looked up at his mum for any hint if she has told Cris anything.

"We didn't talk for two days...i thought- thought something is wrong" . So its not what Leo thought, he let go of the air he didn't know he was holding in his lungs.

"No noo...nothing is wrong, i was just sleeping" Lionel lied. How much he missed this voice, he really needed to talk with Cristiano in private after all the things that has happened in past two days but not when his mother is standing by his bed. "Mum can i please at least get a little privacy when i talk with my boyfriend" he mumbled blocking the speaker of the phone with his hand.

"Sure baby...I'll get your breakfast" Celia walked towards the door.

"Not now...after an hour, not hungry really" Lionel said quickly. Celia sighed resigned & left. 'After an hour, not hungry' his excuse to bunk most of his meals. "Hi Cris...sorry to keep you waiting" he murmured an apology.

"Leo you sure everything is alright?" Cristiano can understand from hearing him that something is not right so he asked again.

"I'm fine...getting better in fact" Leo replied a little irritated but it wasn't very convincing for Cristiano. There was an awkward silence for some seconds before Leo spoke again. "Don't you have training today?"

"After 2 hours" Cristiano replied. *awkward silence again"

"Cristiano what is today's date ?" Lionel suddenly asked, his voice was barely audible.

Cristiano was taken aback with his question. "Umm 16th August, why ?" He answered a little hesitantly. Leo tried to calculate the days in his mind.

"Is it tuesday ?"

"No friday but why are you asking me this, are you alright?" Cristiano frowned. Lionel completely ignored his question. He has done his calculation. 1 month 2 weeks. At the same time he could hear Junior's voice.

"Junior is there ? Can i talk to him ? Please!?" Leo asked for permission over enthusiastically.

"Yess sure carino just hold on a sec" Leo heard Cristiano telling something before he handed him the phone.

"Papai!" The little kid squealed in excitement.

"Hi baby how are you ? ...i miss you so much." Lionel said as tears swelled up in his eyes.

"Not good without you...you promised you'll help me doing my summer vacation projects." The little kid complained.

"I'm so sorry baby i can't be there right now...but i'll tell daddy, he will help you." Leo hold back his breathe. He doesn't want his little kid hear him crying.

"Papai can we pleaseee talk face to face ? I want to see you" Cris pleaded after a minute of silence.

"Umm...yeaa..ok..let me see if i can, stay on the line okay ?" Lionel misses little Cris as much as he misses his daddy, even though he doesn't carry his blood Leo considers him as his own son. He placed the phone on the night stand & sprinted out of his bed. Before Leo asks his mum to give him his laptop he noticed he needs a full sleeve t-shirt to cover the scar on his hand. Its not too big but not small either, the red line & the angry skin around it is very much visible on his pale skin. He checked the small closet, throwing away stuffs till he found a full sleeve t-shirt. He covered himself with it quickly & sprinted towards the door. "Mumm ?" He yelled standing on the top of the stairs.

"Yes Lionel?" Celia peeked out from the kitchen a little surprised to see him out of his room.

"I want my laptop...fast" Leo said in one breathe.

"Uh..umm..your laptop is with your father"

"Mum please, i need to talk with Junior" he said desperately & how could a mother ignore her son's pleading eyes? She sighed defeated.

"Fine...go to your room i'm bringing it." She walked inside her & her husband's bedroom while Leo ran back to his room. He is just too excited to see Cristiano & Junior's face right now to care about any kind of pain. His mood shifts are becoming abnormal day by day.

"Hello ?" Leo said excited holding up the phone again.

"Papai.." Junior whined for keeping him waiting for so long.

"Can you give the phone to daddy for a moment nino ?"

"Okay" the little kid grumbled handing over the phone to Cristiano.

"I'm skyping you in a min, accept the call"

"Yes yess, calm down now" Cristiano rolled his eyes affectionately from the other side of the phone. They were still talking when Celia entered the room holding his laptop.

"Here...& Leo no funny business" She warned but Leo replied with a bright smile. Celia wanted to cry out of happiness, she hasn't seen her son this happy for so long. Leo pressed on the keys impatiently & after a minute they were connected. Cristiano is half lying on the bed & Junior is cuddled up against him.

They gave eachother a warm smile that conveys so much emotions which are hard to describe in words. Lionel noticed his boyfriend has no gel on his hair, his natural curls are making him look beautiful. The word cute can also be used. The first thing Cristiano noticed is Leo's puffed red eyes & the dark patches around it, his cheeks has shrinked considerably, his collar bones are poking out. He looks sick & seems like he's starving & suffering from sleep deprivation for ages but what striked Cristiano the most is his smile. It looks so fake like Leo is forcing himself to smile, hiding a lot under that fake expression.

"Papaii" Junior squealed in happiness but then suddenly he got silent & grumpy.

"Crisii! ...hey buddy why are you pouting? Are you angry at papai ?" Lionel asked furrowing his brows.

Junior shaked his head a 'no'. "Are you going to leave too ?" the kid mumbled snuggling closer to Cristiano. Both fathers were a bit surprised at this question.

"No..noo i can never leave my little spider man, why would you think that ?" Leo tried to reassure him. He knows how the little kid was tired of Cristiano's exes, acting to love him to impress his daddy then vanished after 6-7 months because Cristiano never felt the way he feels for Leo with any of them & Junior always wanted a second parent but he never loved them the way he loves Leo. He never called them his *papai*. Cristiano is very protective about his son, he wrapped an arm around the little body & held him against his chest tightly. Leo skimmed his fingers against the screen wishing he could really touch them. He feels so guilty...his sickness is effecting the lives of people around him & Junior is the last person he'd want to suffer because of him. "I'll never leave you as long as i'm alive, okay ?" Leo said in a shaky voice. This is getting too much for him, he ran to the bathroom. Junior couldn't see this because he has ducked his face against his dad's chest.

He can't see himself in the mirror. Right now he's just a worthless person making others life miserable. Leo pulled up the sleeve of his t-shirt to reveal the still fresh scar but the pain is fading away slowly. He pressed on it hard with his other hand biting his lip. He thinks he made people unhappy, he deserves this pain but now that he's fully conscious he doesn't have the guts to make anymore scars on his body so he changed the water settings of the tap & placed his hand under the burning hot water. A whimper left his mouth but he bit his bottom lip harder, a tear rolled down his eyes too but he didn't cry. He kept on abusing himself till it got unbearable. He turned off the tap, breathing heavily, struggling for air.

Leo returned to his room tightly gripping the hem of his sleeves. He gave Cristiano a slight nod before smiling at Junior. Cristiano probably thought he was crying in the bathroom since he had a very serious expression but Lionel is sure he's not even suspecting him self harming. "I'm sorry baby...I'll be there to help you next summer..." Leo apologized again.

"Buts thats sooo long ? Won't you come in the Christmas?" the little kid whined again but thanx to Cristiano for explaining Junior that his papai is sick right now & can't come to visit him twice a month.

"We'll see baby...we've lots of time for Christmas" he chuckled.

"Daddy will have to lift you up again so you can put the star on the christmas tree" the kid giggled while both the fathers smiled thinking of the memories.

"Aren't you getting late for your power rangers episode coração ?" Cristiano asked after five more minutes.

"...want to talk with papai" Junior pouted.

"You can talk with him again later, let daddy talk now ?" Cristiano asked. Leo is not sure he'll get the 'again later' chance anytime soon again though.

"Okay daddy...get well soon papai....love yaa" he pressed a kiss on the screen before running out of the room.

"Heyy" Leo sighed tiredly. "You look different..."

"Thank you!" Cristiano rolled his eyes.

"...i mean you look cute with no hair gel, you should leave it like this sometimes." Its not that Leo has never carded his fingers through his un-gelled hair before, it just feels like years has passed by.

"I prefer the word 'sexy' " Cris said playfully. He could see the little hint of red on Leo's cheeks. "Leo why didn't you take my calls ?" He asked suddenly, all serious.

"I uhh...told you...was sleeping" Leo mumbled.

"Don't you try lie to me Lionel Messi! ...you were fighting with your parents, throwing things & hurting yourself" Cristiano said a little harshly than he intended to.

"I...umm..wasn't hurting myself..i just h-had a little fight with my parents & nothing else...what did they tell you"

"....that you are having some serious mood swings" Cris shrugged.

"...& ?"

"...theres more ?" Cristiano arched an eyebrow questionably.

"No noo...i was just really mad at my dad so i broke a plate in fit...its not-nothing serious okay ?" He lied. *pfff he doesn't know everything, Lionel sighed in relief* But Cristiano stared at him confused & curious.

"Lionel do you want me to come over ? I can totally manage-..."

"Noo nooo...not now, the season is just starting, you can't bunk now. I'll tell you when i'll *really need you*....can we talk about something else now ? Tell me how are you ?" Lionel smiled brightly, if that can distract his boyfriend.

"Not okay without you..." he sighed, suddenly Leo noticed Cris looks exhausted. Is he feeling the same way like Lionel? Tears swelled up in the back of his eyes & Leo tried his best to hold them back.

"I'm sorry..." he murmured looking anywhere but the screen.

"Lionel look at me...." Cristiano said firmly but no response. "Leo!" He called again & he finally looked up. "This is non of your fault, okay ? This could have happened to anyone & just because you cannot play for some time doesn't make you worthless" Cristiano repeated for the 100th time "....you still make a lot of people happy...people who loves you..who are proud of you...your parents."

"I know...except i don't feel like I'm doing anything to deserve all this love" Leo said in a shaky voice.

"YOU ARE A VERY SWEET PERSON LIONEL...YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING IN RETURN FOR THE LOVE YOU GET FROM THE PEOPLE WHO REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU!!....if i couldn't do anything for you, would you love me any lesser ?"

"I love you Cristiano...." Leo broke into tears. Cristiano tried to calm him but nothing seemed to work & he realized there's nothing more frustrating than to see your loved one's cry & be able to do nothing about it.

"Leo...i'm calling your mum..." Cristiano called Celia & asked her to go check on Leo. After a minute or two Celia was in Leo's room.

"Lionel!?" She walked to Leo as fast as he could. Cristiano was still watching everything from the other side of the screen helplessly. "Leo what happened?" Celia gathered him for a hug but Leo kept weeping in her embrace. "Leo ? Baby i'm here, Cristiano is here, try to calm down & talk it out...you'll feel so much better" she rubbed his back trying to sooth him but her encouraging words only made him feel more guilty. He treated her so badly yet it didn't effect his mother's behavior a bit with him. After few minutes he eventually calmed down.

"Cr-Cris...don't you have training session?" Leo finally said peeking out of his mum's embrace. None of them realized they have been talking for more than an hour but Cristiano doesn't want to leave him like this.

"I don't want to leave you..."

"You mus-t not....for me" Leo said hiccuping. "...we'll talk again tomorrow" he said dismissively ducking his head back in his mum's embrace. Cristiano waited for him to say something more but it seems like thats it for today. Celia & Cris exchanged their goodbyes then Leo heard the line cut off with a beep. 

"Leo ?" Celia said finally almost after 10 minutes.

"Hmm ?"

"Today is papa & mine's anniversary...we aren't celebrating but i would love it if you join us during lunch." "If you don't want to thats okay too i understand" She added quickly.

Thats right, 16th August is his parents wedding anniversary, thats why it sounded so familiar when Cristiano told him the date. "...i want to be there" Leo smiled faintly looking up at her.

"Thank you..." she planted a gentle kiss on his forehead.

*Again silence*

Lionel has melted in his mother's embrace, enjoying her soft caresses. He knows he probably looks like a big baby but who cares ? Her hands on his hair is so comforting. More soothing than the burning pain on his hand. The peace got interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

"Your father is here..."

"I thought we are living in an island...where did he go ?" Leo frowned sitting up.

"Umm...just for a walk"

"...for nearly two hours ?" The bell rang again.

"I'm going to open the door...why don't you come downstairs with me & ask him about your curiosity" Celia rolled her eyes affectionately.

"I'm fine here...just call me before lunch"

"Then let me hook you with the IV for now"

"NO! ...not now please...plus i've to take a shower" Leo begged, Celia sighed & left the room. Leo waited for two minutes before he folded up his sleeve. All this time the cloth was rubbing against his raw skin, he let out a painful cry that he was holding in all this time. Burn marks has formed all over his hand because of the hot water. Lionel cannot believe he did this to himself. He forgot about his all other pains for some moment & concentrated solely on how he'll hide this marks from his parents. After spending half an hour thinking he finally reached the conclusion theres not much he can do right now except either staying in his room alone or wearing full sleeve. The first option isn't available today so it'll be full sleeves. Leo quickly took a shower but carefully, he didn't even bought the cold water in contact with his damaged hand. But later a cheap trick came to his mind & he applied some toothpaste on the burned area....if the minty cool feeling helps. It did a little but he's also aware it'll burn even more when he'll try to wash it off with water later.

\----------------

Lionel has changed into a new pair of hoodie & track pant after shower. His mother has called him 15 minutes ago & since then he's standing by the door of his room thinking & rethinking if he should go downstairs, fiddling the hem of his sleeves.

"Leo, you coming ?" His father's voice bought him out of his thoughts. He saw Jorge is standing halfway on the stairs with a confused expression.

"Yes..i was just 'bout to go..." Leo said sheepishly then followed his father downstairs. The dining hall smells delicious. Leo is surprised how did his mum managed to make all these dishes nicely presented on the table in such short time. "Why is there no cake ?"

"I told you we aren't celebrating...but there is some ice cream in the fridge" Celia said making Leo frowned. He is their son he should be the one to take initiative to organize his parents wedding anniversary.

"I want to make a cake for you two...as your anniversary present" Lionel said. He thought at least he can do this much to make up for the way he behaved with them last.

"Leo you are sick...."

"Let him do it if it makes him happy...its not that late anyways." Jorge said with a soft smile. He has been very rude to Leo too but he did apologized for his behaviour later.

"Okay but we will help you.." Celia sighed but she is very happy with her son. Firstly, Leo came out of his room after almost one week then he spend some quality time with her in the morning today now he's actually getting himself engaged in some work & he looks happy while on the other hand Leo wants to make up for being an ass to his parents, he thinks Jorge & Celia would be enjoying today if they didn't have to look after him & he is not at all happy to be here, he feels like third person ruining his parents anniversary. They settled on making pancakes to save time. Most of the works were done by Celia, Leo just flipped them. He stacked up five pancakes then coated them with chocolate icing and wrote 'C+J' on it with his finger. He placed the cake in the middle of the table & grinned smugly.

When he has given up on himself, a part of him is still struggling to find happiness.

The couple blew a candle & Leo clicked 3-4 photos on his father's phone. The picture he likes the most is the one he took when his father was kissing Celia. There was so much love & passion in it, it reminded him of Cristiano.

"Thank you for the cake Leo...*you* made our day special" Jorge thanked him cutting out some roast for himself. Leo only responded with a smile. Even though its her anniversary Celia has made all the dishes that are Leo's favorite. The lunch went smoothly, nobody talked about any negative things or asked Leo any questions till his mum noticed his sleeves getting stained by the sauce.

"Leo, you should fold up your sleeves while eating..." she rested her spoon & started folding up Leo's sleeve for him. Leo's heart stopped for a moment. The first fold...then the second one...Leo quickly pulled back his hand.

"Umpp thanx...i'll be more careful" Leo said quickly. He realized he really can't be around his parents with this marks, even the full sleeves are not safe. He woke up sad but he isn't right now...or wasn't till now. His anxiety is building up again, he feels insecure, all he wants to do is to ran back to his room but he can't. He doesn't want his parents to suspect anything. Leo's mind eased up a bit when his father started with the stories of old days when he dated his mother, Leo even laughed when Jorge admitted he was afraid of his father-in-law. Celia put the plates in the dish washer. Leo doesn't remember the last time he completed his meal, his taste buds & stomach feels incredibly satisfied. He lounged lazily in the living room for some time till he started feeling drowsy which is obvious considering how less he slept last night so he excused himself & walked upstairs.

"See, i told you, he's just going through a rough phase, he'll come around eventually" Jorge said with a smile.

"I don't know...he cried a lot to me this morning. He looks so depressed. I feel terrible to deprive him from all the pleasures of his life like this..."

"...for his own good Celi" Jorge pointed.

Lionel flopped himself on the bed with a tired huff. Today was different (& difficult) from all other days. First he thought of killing himself then ended up slitting his hand, tortured himself by making it more painful with hot water but on the other hand he talked with Cristiano, saw Junior & his boyfriend's face after weeks, spend quality time with his parents who weren't mad at him at all. Leo recalled all the events before closing his eyes. 1 month 2 weeks, still too early to give up he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if i made you sad even i was crying while writing this story...this story is mostly sad with some happy chapters in between. If you are feeling sad after reading this read a chapter, read about little!leo & daddy!cris or any other happy cressi fic, i'm sure it'll make u happy again :))
> 
> thank u in advance for all the kudos & nice comments ^_^  
> tumblr : www.mrs-messi.tumblr.com


	15. Chapter 15

Celia woke up to a loud crashing noise.

"Jorge ? .....Jorge" she called her husband.

"Mmph..what happened ?" He asked groggily stirring up from sleep.

"I think i heard something"

"Don't be ridiculous Celi, its past mid night"

"Thats why i'm telling you Jorge. Can we please go check on Leo ?" She asked distressed.

"Fine...but you need to stop babying the boy" they both got out of the bed & made their way towards Leo's room on the other side of the hall.

"Oh my god Lionel is not here.." Celia said panickedly seeing the empty bed even before Jorge could turn on the lights. She opened the door of the bathroom but it was empty.

"Where can he possibly go at this hour ? What did you hear Celi ?"

"Something crashing...a loud crashing noise like a glass or a flower vase broke. Jorge please find my son." Celia loves her son very much & not being able to find him at this hour is giving her hysteria attack.

"Celi calm down, i'm telling you we'll find him downstairs." Jorge tried to sound confident but his words came out shaky. Both the parents walked downstairs as Jorge turned on all the lights of the house.

"Lionel ?" Celia called his name loudly. She ran to the kitchen because living room they were standing in was empty while Jorge went to check the guest room. The kitchen was empty but Celia noticed a little yellow light is illuminating through the gap of the door of the small wine cellar they had in the corner of the huge kitchen. She pushed the door open but something on the other side was blocking it from opening so it pushed it some more time recklessly till there was enough gap she could take a peek of the other side. What she saw on the other side was her son lying on the floor & broken pieces of a bottle of whisky lying around the floor. The cold liquid from the broken bottle hit her feet as she cried for help. Jorge came running almost immediately. He tried to open the door but failed because Leo's legs are blocking it to open further. He squeezed himself inside somehow.

"Leo ? What are you...." he quickly scooped Leo on his lap allowing Celia to open the door as her assistance is very much needed here since shards of glasses has cut through Leo's skin & his feet is bleeding very badly.

"Lionel what've you done ?" Celia cried patting Leo's cheeks to bring back consciousness.

"Ummph...leave me 'lone" Lionel whined subconsciously not opening his eyes for once but snuggled deeper into his father's warm embrace. Both the parents sighed in relief, at least he wasn't totally senseless.

"Alcohol poisoning?" Jorge asked Celia holding up another empty bottle that was lying on the ground.

"Leo, baby look at me, maybe you are suffering alcohol poisoning. We'll have to take you to hospital...how much did you drink ?" She patted his cheeks to keep him awake. Lionel blinked his glassy eyes, trying to get a hold of himself. His flushed cheeks were stained with dried tries. He looked down at his fingers & started counting.

"...fife..ten..two...erm...one!" Lionel said holding up two fingers.

"But baby you are holding out two fingers" Celia sighed wiping the little blood from Leo's bottom lip, trying hard to keep herself composed.

"Celia we really can't count on what he says when he's this drunk" Jorge reasoned.

"Noh!! ...noo, only one believe me" Lionel whined squirming a little. He shrieked when he felt broken pieces of glass poking in his legs. "I was 'bout to have 'nother one but that happened" He pointed vaguely at his bleeding feet crying. He can feel the pain now.

"I'll take care of it just stay awake k ?" She gestured her husband to get him out of here. Leo obviously can't walk by himself right now or even if anyone helps him because he has shards of glasses in his feet so it left them with only one option to carry him which Jorge did effortlessly since Leo has lost a lot of weight in past few weeks.

No, nothing has changed. Celia & Jorge thought their son is eventually coming around after he gave them a pleasant surprise on their anniversary but it was just a one day thing for Leo to make his parents happy. Probably thats why they'd to find him lying on the floor, drunk in the middle of the night. He didn't yell at his parents again, he just simply kept it all within himself, all his emotions, all his pain, all the things he wants to say. Football helped him to come out of the invisible shell he had created around himself since his teendays, he learnt the actual meaning of fun from Cristiano but now they have taken away both from him & he has withdrawn himself from everything successfully. Lionel didn't become like this overnight, he did leave hints, its was his parents who thought it is just a phase or they were just too worried about Leo's physical health they totally overlooked his mental health & failed to fulfill his emotional needs...or even if they did tried the success rate would be highly doubtful considering how stubborn Leo is.

Jorge placed him on the living room couch as gently as he could & rested his bleeding legs on the center table making Leo flinch in pain.

"Hwats..." Leo complained in barely audible voice. The effect of alcohol has made his words quite slurred. He leaned against his father instead of the pillows. Yes, Lionel is an adult & Jorge was harsh with him at times but still he is his son so he wrapped his arms around Leo's lean body & hugged him tighter.

"If it hurts why did you drink in the first place?" Celia tried to keep him talking. She placed two fluffiest towel under his bleeding feet & handed an ice pack to Jorge so that he can press it against his swelled wrist. Lionel has pulled out the IV channel from his hand to free himself & now he has a swollen wrist & a red hole on it.

"I couldn't sleep..." 

"If you couldn't sleep you should've come to us, we are always there to help you know..." Celia taking out some medicines from the first aid box. "Lionel, I'm giving you something that'll make you feel better..." She cupped Leo's face & fed him two tablets. "...now this will help you to purge out the alcohol so if you feel like vomiting thats normal."

"Eww why will you do tat ?" Leo scrunched up his face like he feels utterly disgusted. Celia didn't responded though, she instead went to get a small tub for Leo. Jorge held it for him while he emptied his stomach in it, complaining petulantly. He let out another painful cry when Celia started aiding his bloody feet.

"I know it hurts baby...i can't give you any better anesthetic because you took so much alcohol." Celia apologized. The spray anesthesia isn't helping at all. "...all this will be over soon & you can sleep okay."

"...can't sleep..feel too lonely" Lionel repeated breathing heavily, eyes closed.

"I'll sleep with you, you won't feel lonely anymore.." she glanced up at her husband holding out the forceps & Jorge nodded in understanding. He tightened his arm around Leo's side & gripped Leo's both hands tightly with his other hand. He cried out bloody murder when the forceps pulled out the piece of glass from his feet. Celia pulled out another...then another...till all the pieces were taken out of Leo's body. When she was done Lionel was a mess. She tried to sterilized the wounds but some of them were so deep they wouldn't stop bleeding. She pulled on the white rubber gloves to prepare for stitches to mend the broken skin. Lionel was beyond exhausted by this point from crying & vomiting, he couldn't process what is been done, he cried out occasionally when his subconscious mind felt needle being pricked in his skin. She checked his vitals once she bandaged both his feet. 

Leo was snoring softly against his father when Jorge carried him back to his room. He placed Leo on the bed while Celia connected him with the IV channel again & injected some necessary medicines in the IV kit bag. She put a gentle kiss on his forehead before she noticed he has got blood stains on his pant more surprisingly a big patch of blood stain is on his right thigh while his feet got injured so she decided to change it. She grabbed a pair of fresh pajamas from Leo's closet then carefully pulled down the track pant he was wearing. Celia couldn't believe her eyes when she saw the red marks of all pattern marking both his thighs, one on his right leg was so deep that the pink flesh could be seen. She almost jumped away from where she was sitting on the bed.

"What happened? " Jorge asked her concerned, coming inside the room. He was waiting outside the room while Celia changed him.

"Our son Jorge....he has been doing terrible things to himself....w-we didn't notice...how could we not ?" She pointed at Leo's leg crying.

\----------------------

Lionel stirred from his sleep when he felt someone pat his cheek. Whoever it was wasn't being gentle. He protested in a muffled voice but it didn't stop the person from crashing his palm against his cheek. He opened his eyes slowly. Everything was blur to him but he could feel two people gang up on him.

"Carino please tell us the truth...have you been hurting yourself ?" Celia asked desperately holding the collar of his t-shirt "...Lionel ?" She cupped his face to make him look straight into her eyes but Leo's eyes were lost like he's totally uninvolved in the reality. "Leo please tell us the truth...we won't be angry, we are here to help you."

"What ?" Leo finally managed to say.

Celia took a deep breath before asking again, this time directly. "Leo have you been self harming?"

"No.." Lionel replied flatly.

"Lionel please we've seen the scars on your thighs..."

"No." He tried to move his face from his mother's grip. Lionel feels the room more crowded. He glanced up at the two unknown persons standing by his bed with his father. He turned his face to the other side of the room & noticed a familiar figure sitting on the sofa with a serious expression.

"Cris'ano ?" He breathed out , blinking his eyes. "Cristiano..." * "...no you are just a dream" he murmured closing his eyes again tired.

"Lets let him sleep for some more time" Celia said.

"....& when he wakes up we'll have to make him confess" Jorge pointed.

"For god's sake Jorge...he was going through a rough time & took a bad step. All this didn't happen over night, we missed to notice the signs..all this time he has been acting out we never tried to understand the *why* part." Celia lashed out at her husband. "He took a very bad, dangerous decision but he didn't commit a crime so don't make him feel like he did when he wakes up."

"A life threatening decision...i don't agree with you Celi he must accept to understand he is wrong. He'll ruin his career" Jorge argued.

"Our son has been slitting his own skin, choosing alcohol over us & all you care about is his career?"

"The idea all this will ruin his career is why he has been ruining himself." Jorge defended himself placing his hands on her shoulders. "I promise Celi we'll take good care of him...but just this once.."

"Okay...Cristiano what do you have to say about this ?" Celia turned towards Cristiano.

"Umm...I think its better if he says it himself." Cristiano said simply. He's tired. He came here as soon as he got the call from Leo's mom. Its been one day, Leo has been sleeping for one whole day while Cristiano couldn't sleep at all. He kept on waiting for his love to wake up sitting in that sofa the whole time. He spent the night staring at Leo sleeping, following his chest rise and fall as he breathed. The beeping sound of heart rate monitor & other machines kept him awake but more than that the stress kept him awake. When he arrived a group of doctors were already there to check on Leo. They feared something more critical can happen so they installed Leo's room with some necessary hospital equipments. Two nurses will be staying here to take better care of him (...or to keep eye on him from now on).

\--------------------

Next time Lionel woke up, it wasn't because someone kept slapping him. He felt a warm hand caressing his cheek, playing with his locks. Leo snuggled against the familiar feeling.

Leo's hair has grown quite long Cristiano thinks. He kept on playing with his hair, combining them back from his forehead then again ruffling them. He's not sure why he cut his hair, Leo looks more adorable like this.

"Mphh...Cristiano" Leo said in a groggy voice giving him the brightest smile. "You came to take me away from here, right?" He quickly sit up & hugged Cristiano. The blanket pooled on his lap & he shivered as the cold wind crashed against his skin. "I'm naked...why am i naked ?" Leo panicked.

"...because you did this" Cristiano said gripping his wrists tightly, glancing at the red scars on Leo's upper hand.

Lionel was a little taken aback after hearing Cristiano.

"Wha-what are you talking 'bout...gimme my clothes back.." Leo stuttered struggling to free his hands. Cristiano let him go voluntarily though.

"We'll give you back your clothes but first you've to answer some questions..." Lionel turned his head to the other side of the room to see his parents standing there & two other people who are strangers to him but he thinks they are probably doctors by seeing their uniform. Leo folded his knees to his chest & covered himself with the fluffy blanket till his shoulders. His mother sat beside him on the edge of the bed.

"Is there something you'd like to tell us ?" Celia asked with a serious expression. Lionel was dreading with fear already, anxiety clouding his mind. Do they know about what he has been doing already ? But he was careful with his scars.

The first day Lionel made that one small cut, he knew it was a mistake, he knew he won't do it again but with every passing day he hated himself a little more & it didn't take much time before he gave in so just one day after the first incident he found himself sitting on the bathroom floor with the razor in his hand again. He wasn't sure why he was doing it or what it'll do to him, he just felt like he deserves it & surprisingly he found the pain soothing. With every cut, his emotional pain faded a bit & he got addicted to the burning sensation. After that he was satisfied & exhausted at the same time & it helped him to sleep but the next morning he realized he made a mistake again, not because he self-harmed but because he did it on his hand when his mother came to give him his injection. He made a strange deal with his mother to give him injections on his neck & hip for some days saying the muscle area of his hands & thighs have become stiff where she gave the injections. He was always extra careful when Celia changed his IV kit & made sure she isn't folding up his full sleeve too much. He made no further cut on his hands again instead he did them on his thighs.

"Lionel?" Celia squeezed his shoulder to get his attention, he seemed disoriented again.

"No...i don't have anything to tell you" Leo mumbled.

"Leo I'm going to ask you again...did you or did you not cut yourself ?" She asked sternly.

"Noo...i don't-...."

"We've all seen the cuts on your thighs, don't make us make it worse for you" Jorge warned cutting him off 

".....can i get my clothes back ?"

"Not till you confess the truth..."

"Please..I'm cold" Leo begged looking down not wanting to make any eye contact with anyone, tears rolled down his cheeks. Cristiano took off his jacket & draped it on Leo's blanket covered body. He could feel Lionel shivering under the blanket.

"Tell the truth Leo, we won't hate you...at least i won't, you'll still be my same Lionel, i promise" Cristiano whispered in his ear which was loud enough for the others to hear, wrapping an arm around him & Leo didn't take much time before he broke down.

"I'm sorry..." He weeped in Cristiano's embrace, hiding his face in his boyfriend's jacket. He feels ashamed of himself, surviving every minute is getting tougher but Cristiano's presence is making it a bit bearable.

"For how long have you been doing this ?" Celia asked placing a arm on his shoulder but this time she was gentle. Leo didn't reply, he kept on crying against Cristiano's chest. "Leo ? please tell me.."

"On-only once..." he lied.

"Tell the truth...please baby" she rubbed Leo's back soothingly.

"I-I did it four times only...". Four times. Lionel self-harmed four times & they had no idea about it, this broke Celia's heart....but still they found out about it quite early. Most of the cuts on his thighs were fresh only the ones on his hand were turning a bit brown.

"....& what did you used to cut yourself ?"

*What did you used to cut yourself* the words hit him hard. He bit his lip hard in guilt that it started bleeding.

"Razor...sharpener blade..."

"Some scars on your thighs are-..."

"Glass. I did 'em with glass" Lionel knew he has no way out now so he thought theres no point hiding.

"How did you get glass ?" Celia asked curiously. Leo certainly didn't do it when they found him in the wine cellar or else they would've known.

"The glass that i broke mistakenly the other day...i took a piece of it". Everyone in the room was taken aback after hearing Lionel. Cristiano gasped, scrunching up his eye brows.

"..everything is still same between us ?" Lionel asked looking up at Cristiano. His teary eyes were screaming 'please don't give up on me'

"...i'm not disgusted Leo...not at all...i feel sorry you'd to go through so much pain & we never noticed" Cristiano remorsed.

"Lionel did you break the glass accidentally or intentionally?" Celia asked after a moment of silence.

"...i did it intentionally"

"Why ?" Celia asked in a very low voice.

"....because it takes away the pain."

"Where have you kept those ?" Celia asked, the hurt was visible in her expression.

"I don't know...i don't wanna talk, leave me alone" Leo mewled ducking his face in Cristiano's chest. Jorge was about to pressurize him but Celia stopped him. Lionel has said & cried a lot since he woke up & Celia doesn't want to get him sick again. Anyway they'll have to check Leo's room no matter what he says.

"Thats Martha & Eduardo...they'll be staying here for some days to take better care of you" Celia said placing a kiss on Leo's hair, he didn't even bother to turn around & look at them though.

Cristiano is sitting against the headboard with his long legs stretched out, Leo fell asleep against his chest crying, watching his father & Eduardo go through his personal stuffs. All his drawers, his backpack, even the bed, pillows & books were checked recklessly & when his father finally found his blades & a piece of glass kept between the pages of a book he gave Leo a disappointed look, nodding his head resentfully which made Leo feel even more guilty.

\------------------

Cristiano is standing on the balcony, trying not to listen to Leo's screams coming from inside the house, concentrating on the loud crashing sound of sea waves against the shore.

After Lionel woke up late in the evening, they spent some time together alone in the dark room both staring outside the window but nobody spoke much till it was time for Leo's injection. Leo was already so emotionally disturbed, it wasn't surprising to Celia when he freaked out again after seeing her. He only got a tank top & a very short pair of shorts so that most of his body is visible for any scar check & Leo was not ready to see his scars being seen by others. Cristiano did tried to hold him down at first but he couldn't see Lionel screaming like that, he would never force Leo to do something that he is this uncomfortable with. Leo was squirming fretfully in his grip to get away but everyone ganged up on him & the new nurse who was supposed to be taking care of Lionel wasn't going easy on him either. Cristiano was confused whose side he'll take, he couldn't bear Leo's pleading eyes neither he could tell his parents to stop because Leo needed those medications so he left the room because staying near his lover right now like this felt like torture.

The full moon shining gracefully above his head, painting the white sand in silver. The view in front of Cristiano is so serene, much contrast to the painful cries he can hear in the background. He sighed closing his eyes, he didn't thought his next visit would be like this. He has so many new things to tell Leo.

"Cristiano.." Celia calling him from behind pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Yeaa ?" Cristiano turned around.

"We are done...if you would like to spend some time with him...or...he can really use someone's company right now" she looked quiet sad & Cristiano understands her stress. Its not easy for a mother to see her son like this. He made his way inside the room without replying. Somebody must have switched off the light probably thinking Lionel will fall asleep but Cristiano can hear his sobs & the futile attempts to hold them back. He walked towards the bed & sat beside Leo. He carded his fingers through Lionel's hair to get his attention but the other one had his face turned on his other side as he tried harder to hold back his sobs.

"Leo ?" Cristiano called him but got no reaction. "Baby i'm right here" he tried harder but still no reaction. He looked at Celia who was standing near the foot of the bed. She gave him a understanding look & left the room. "Lionel, its just you & me now...please look at me" Cristiano said desperately caressing his cheek. He could feel Leo's cheekbones under his fingers. He traced his jawline then the collar bones then down to his hands. Cris felt something unusual about it when he touched his hand. Its stiff, too stiff so he moved the blanket that was covering half of Leo's body to reveal his hand tied to the bed. Cristiano feels sick. He wants to help Leo but not like this, he feels guilty that he left him in the first place, he should have never left his precious alone when he was this vulnerable. Cris quickly checked the other hand but it wasn't tied since IV was plugged on that wrist. He opened the straps as fast as he could murmuring 'apologies' for leaving Leo alone. The prominent fingerprints on Leo's wrist makes it clear how rough Eduardo has been with him. He intertwined their fingers & placed a feather light kiss on Leo's wrist & finally Leo turned his face towards him.

"I'm sorry.." Cristiano apologized again with a sad smile. This time Leo tugged thier intertwined hands, indicating Cristiano to lay with him & Cristiano did. He laid on his elbow & wiped Leo's teary eyes. Lionel curled up against his board chest immediately, snuggling into the warmth. "I didn't want to leave you...but it was getting unbearable" Lionel whimpered weakly in agreement. "...i promise i'll never leave you like this" Cristiano said stroking his hair gently. "...& you've to promise too, you won't hurt yourself again". No reply from Lionel. Cristiano sighed resigned, knowing its hard, he has been there & he knows Leo is not as strong as he is right now. "Lionel please don't do this to us....we'll be having a baby soon & i can't do this without you...i-i can't imagine my life without you-you have no right to make someone dream & then shatter them into pieces..." Cristiano babbled with glassy eyes while Lionel stared at him with wide eyes & jaw dropped.

"We'll be having a what ?" Lionel asked again in disbelief because Cristiano later told him after they returned from the fertility clinic that chances are 50-50 that they'll have a baby & with so many things happening he totally forgot about it.

"Yes Leo...i didn't wanted to tell this to you like this...even i didn't keep my hopes high about this but a week ago i got call from the clinic & they said the surrogate that picked us is pregnant..." Cristiano paused for a moment. "...don't you think this is a sign that it is our destiny to be together? ...a chance to have a family of our own ?" Cristiano said sitting up, Leo followed him. He rested himself in his boyfriend's chest & Cris wrapped his arms around him minding the IV channel.

"...when we retire we'll move to Switzerland or America & we'll be very happy...no more travelling back & forth, no more painful goodbyes" he said it like a promise to Lionel.

"Why Switzerland or America?" Leo voice got muffled against Cristiano's chest.

"Well it snows there...our kids can make snowmans in the front yard" Cristiano said in a low voice. "Lionel don't do this to yourself" he skimmed his fingers gently on the bandage covered area of his thigh which made Leo hiss in pain. "Does it hurt ?". Leo didn't responded to this. "Baby, look at me" Cristiano cupped Leo's face & made him look up at him "is there something else bothering you ? I mean...don't take this the wrong way, many players get injured & stay out of pitch for long time...same has happened to you too before but this time its just a relapse of your old illness so why are so stressed...why are you so angry on yourself?"

"I dun wanna talk 'bout it" Lionel mumbled moving away his gaze. He's tired of everyone's questions, the explanation is to big & he isn't sure from where to start neither does he has the energy.

"You have to! Now even your parents know...they will keep you under strict vigilance, they want the best for you but I'm not comfortable with their ways...i don't want anyone to strip search my boyfriend or some brainless nurse to drag him while he is this much stress, i don't want anyone to hurt you." Cristiano said honestly.

"Then talk to them 'bout this, pleasee" Lionel pleaded.

"I can't baby because i can't see you hurt yourself either" Cristiano gave him a 'i'm sorry' look.

"Please.." Leo begged him, tears streaking down his cheeks.

"Can you blame your parents, hmm ? I'd have done the same...not everything but i would've definitely checked you." He said stroking Leo's hair again to sooth him. "If you keep on doing like this you won't be fit for being a parent" Cristiano said after a minute of silence.

"No no no...you can't take away my kids from me. You can't take away Crisi or my baby...you j-just can't" Lionel panicked to such an extent that he was palpitating.

"Lionel calm down. I never said i'll take away your 'babies'. All i tried to say is when we'll have a second child we'll have more responsibilities" Cris tried to calm him. Cristiano is a bit surprised with Leo's reaction, Leo totally misinterpreted him but he thought maybe this can be a away to save Leo from destroying himself so he took it a bit further. "...& i think if you continue being like this it'll have a umm...bad impact on their childhood. Do you understand what I'm trying to say...do you want that Leo ?" Cristiano chose his words wisely.

"No..never but first promise me even if we break up you'll let me see Crisi" Lionel said holding his hand.

"Woah now where is this 'break up' subject coming from ? Lionel calm down, i promise i'll never separate you from Junior...that'll make both of you sad" Cristiano reassured placing a hand on Leo's. "...come here, calm yourself..we'll talk in the morning" he leaned against the pillows & guided Leo to do the same & Leo returned to his same old position, curling into a ball against his lovers chest. Cristiano rubbed his back trying to sooth him & he did succeed as Lionel's breathing even up & his hiccups eventually stopped. He didn't say anything more & waited for Leo to fall asleep but instead Lionel's stomach grumbled embarrassingly loud after some time.

"Are you hungry?"

"Noh!"

"You sound hungry." *More grumbling noises* "Lionel look eat something btw everyone is probably asleep nobody will know you broke your rebellious hunger strike" Cristiano chuckled "i'm getting some ice-cream for us" he said getting out of the bed.

"...fine" this time Lionel grumbled as Cristiano left the room laughing.

Cristiano grabbed a big bowl & a scooper from the kitchen counter then made his away to the refrigerator. He took out the freezing chocolate ice-cream box & placed it on the dining table. He took four scoops of ice cream totally ignoring the fact that having so much ice cream at night may get them both cold.

"Cristiano?" Celia called him but the sudden noise in this quiet atmosphere freaked him out. 

"Fuckk you..god..sorry, i didn't mean to wake anyone" He apologized.

"Oh no..i was in my study room actually, didn't expect you to be awake" Celia looked at him then the bowl full of ice cream "...so much ice cream might get you cold" she pointed.

"Ehh Leo is hungry so i didn't really considered the other-..."

"Leo said that ? Ohhh" Cristiano could tell how happy she is feeling right now from hearing her voice.

"You should take these chocolate bars too...." Celia walked over to the refrigerator & handed Cristiano 6-7 chocolate bars "...& his favorite dulce de leche. Leo loves it" she placed the small jar of dulce de leche on the dining table too. Cristiano feels bad to see her so worked up in middle of the night. He placed his hands on her shoulders reassuringly.

"I'll take care of him" he gave her a small sympathetic smile & she nodded. "I better go now & you please take some rest" Cristiano said.

"Okay hun...goodnight!" She let him go because she didn't want to keep Lionel waiting.

"What took you so long ?" Lionel frowned.

"Nothing....i bought chocolate & dulce de leche" Cristiano grinned knowing Leo would love it & Leo gave him a little smile poking out his tongue.

Cristiano ate most of the ice cream while Leo emptied the dulce de leche jar in less than ten minutes. Cristiano didn't had dinner either, he was hungry too so both of them forgot all their manners while eating. They fairly shared the chocolate bars & laughed pointed at eachother when they saw their faces covered with food. They kissed eachother passionately, tasting eachothers mouth. Lionel feels much better right now so does Cristiano. The food satisfied their bodily needs & they were feeling sleepy so Cristiano covered them with the blanket & they cuddled up against eachother. It didn't take much time for them to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is just getting sadder (sorry) ;__; next 1-2 chapters will be flashbacks so hopefully they'll be much happier than this :3 & sorry for the late update, i was having exams :/ i the first half of the story a month ago the rest after exams & also i didn't get the time to reread so there'll probably be lots of mistakes @.@
> 
> & Leo is injured again + Barca lost 4-3 to Celta, i wanna cry ;_____; do let me know what u guys think about this chapter (i'm not very happy with this one) & thank u for leaving all the kudos ^.^
> 
> tumblr : www.mrs-messi.tumblr.com


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ....flashback

Cristiano stepped out of the nurse station & sighed standing by the door closing his eyes. Everytime the nurse says 'times up' & he has to leave the phone its too painful for him, it hurts him not being able to tell his little kid when he's coming home, it hurts him when he hears that pleading innocent voice asking him to talk more but all he gets is five minutes of phone time every second day. After Portugal got eliminated from the world cup & his recurring knee injury kept bugging him he finally listened to his doctors & agreed on spending a long part of the off season in this stupid rehabilitation centre hidden in some part of Italy. A part of St. Mary's hospital is for people (celebrities to be specific) who are psychologically troubled thus mobile phones are strictly a no no. So this is basically a inpatient rehab institution for celebrities in crisis & the worst part is Cristiano is stuck in loony bin floor. He isn't crazy or depressed he knows it but his relatives said he's having 'anger issues' since he returned from Brazil. Cristiano doesn't believe them though he thinks its normal for him to get angry while he's injured & its all because he's just worried about his career. He only agreed on staying here instead of going back to Madrid right now & continuing normal treatment, banging girls in nightclubs because he's well aware of the reality. His performance means more than money & fame to him & to give his best he has to be 101% fit since he doesn't want to miss any match which'll give that '2ft, pale, i've no sense of fashion' snot advantage of scoring more goals than him.

Cristiano was already shipped in St. Mary's hospital when that fat ass lead his team to the world cup final. That fat ass is too short to be the captain of any team he thinks, if Cristiano gets some time with him outside any award show he'll take Messi to tanning parlor then take him shopping because he can't even post a picture of himself on instagram sitting in the front row of ballon d'Or ceremony because of his nemesis part's aweful taste of suits. Who wears burgundy suit ? Eww. He was sleeping on tranquilizers when the other one was playing final. The only good thing about this place is the much needed 10-11 hours uninteruppted sleep he gets. After he woke up the nurse told him Germany has won the world cup. Cristiano wasn't happy after hearing that quiet the opposite, he knows he can never win a world cup with his team so if Messi had won it then at least one of them would've fulfilled their national duty but again that means more pressure for him so he just shrugged off the thought & concentrated on his own life.

"Honey are you feeling alright ?" A middle aged nurse bought him back to reality. The medicines Cristiano gets here makes him dazed sometimes, he's gonna tell about this next time he meets his counselor.

"Yeaa umm-I'm fine" Cristiano gave her a small smile. Its feels so weird when anyone other than his mother calls him by any pet names but the nurses here are so caring & genuine he can't ask them to stop plus he doesn't want to give anyone more points to establish his 'angry behaviour'....thank god this hospital is discreet & away from crowd, Cristiano would rather kill himself than explaining to media how he ended up in a loony bin for his knee injury.

"...but you look lost" the nurse squeezed his bicep lightly.

"....was just thinking about my family" he shrugged.

"Did you talk with your mother ?"

".....just for few minutes Miss Carelli " Cristiano murmured more to himself sadly.

"...have you made any friends here yet, cuore mio?" the middle aged woman said after a moment of silence understanding Cristiano's reason of sadness. He's a celeb for rest of the world but he's a human after all & just a patient here and Miss Carelli is the nicest nurse here Cristiano thinks, maybe thats why she feels bad for the tall, muscular or else confident guy looking like scolded child standing in front of her.

"No.." Cristiano replied laughing after he heard the nickname. He doesn't speak Italian but there is not much difference between 'mi corazo' & 'cuore mio'.

"Why don't you try talking with that guy over there" she pointed at the little body sitting in a distant bench curled to himself "...trust me you'll love it...it'll make both of you feel better" she added quickly noticing the frown of Cristiano's face. "I've have to go now, see you during lunch time honey till then socialize a bit.....& ohh if this helps you two know eachother" she said & walked down the almost empty corridor.

Cristiano was left confused with her words, what does she means by 'you two know eachother'. He has seen some known faces here probably getting treated for drug addiction or depressed because they aren't in lime light anymore or recovering break ups, etc but he doesn't know them personally. Cristiano looked at the slim body then looked at the other side of the corridor, he couldn't see anyone but he could hear nurses chatting in the nurse station. He hesitatedly took a small step towards the guys..he's not obliged to do it but still he's curious for some reason the tiny body looks familiar. When Cristiano was standing about a meter or two away from him he could clearly hear him crying but he's not sure the other one crying with knees folded to chest & face ducked between them is even aware of his presence. *Why is he even crying like a baby ?* Cristiano thought *...& why is there no nurse with him? He shouldn't stay unattended when he is crying his heart out like this*

"Ermm..hi..hey ? umm please don't cry !? ...you'll get better soon & go home" Cristiano said softly, mumbling a bit but he got no answer. He expected it really....all this time he was wondering even if he tries to talk will the other one want it ? "...do you want me to call a nurse for you ? I can do that..." Cristiano said after a moment of silence since he isn't sure he can talk any further with him but he can't just leave him alone here.

"LEAVE ME 'LONE!! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M DISTURBED!??" the small body suddenly lashed out ready to punch anyone who dared disturb his crying time.

"MESSI !?" Cristiano gasped in shock, taking a step back. Is he hallucinating ? This has to be a side effect of his medicines, Lionel Messi possibly can't be here...he follows Cristiano to every fucking award ceremony not the hospital too please, but he is because the familiar voice replied.

"Cris-Cris'ano !?" Messi replied in a shaky voice, furrowing his eyebrows. Cristiano can tell from seeing his expression that he's shocked too but the way he collected himself & tried to act 'normal' like he wasn't crying like a baby a minute ago is impressive & Cris did the same thing...tried to pretend they are not standing in middle of a psychiatric ward.

"...first day ?" Cristiano asked holding out his hand with a sad smile.

"No...third" Lionel shaked hand with him, rubbing his eyes with other hand, sniffling.

"Ohh...not this ward then ?" Cristiano asked since its the first time he's seeing here.

"No.." *crack in the voice* "..thi-is ward" Lionel broke into tears.

"Hey...hey, please don't cry. You'll get out of here eventually..you know that right ?" Cristiano tried to calm him placing his hands on Messi's shoulder. "Is there anything i can do to help?" He offered. Cristiano isn't even sure why he's doing this instead of calling for help...it should be awkward but it just feels so normal..he can't leave his arch rival alone like this or he doesn't want to!? People say Lionel Messi is a little magician on the pitch & Cristiano full heartedly agrees standing in front of him right now....there is something about his appearance...those puppy eyes, flushed cheeks & tousled hair, how come he didn't notice all these cuteness before ?

"D-do you -'ve a phone ?" Lionel asked in a shaky voice.

"No...they didn't let me keep my phone" Cristiano said sadly & Lionel ducked his face between his knees again sobbing "...but you can still call your family from the phone in the nurse station"

"Really ? I can ?"

"Yeahh....its right over there" Cristiano pointed towards the nurse station but Messi stared vaguely. "...do you want me to accompany?" He asked seeing the other one's blank expression.

"Please.." Lionel nodded. Cristiano offered his hand & Lionel accepted it. He could feel Lionel shivering when his bare feet touched the cold linoleum, fortunately for Cristiano he was wearing the stupid pair of crocs his mother packed with his stuffs. It seems like Messi doesn't have much problem with walking holding hand of his arch rival.

"Can we come in?" Cristiano said awkwardly knocking on the door holding Messi's hand who was literally hiding himself behind him. Now this is getting weird for Cristiano. Okay he gets it Messi is humble, generous, blah blah blah & from the few times he has met him in person he has realised the other one is really a shy, soft spoken person but he doesn't need to act so girly right now. The four nurses who were chatting till now looked at them stunned because who doesn't know about Cristiano Ronaldo & Lionel Messi & their never ending rivalry but still they gotta act professional. But the reason of their surprise was something else. It was seeing Lionel there.

"Sure, how can i help you handsome ?" A mid 30's nurse asked him sarcastically, walking towards them. Cristiano was a little uncomfortable with most of the staffs being flirty at first but later he realized they just do it jokingly since its a boys ward & they are merely trying to keep all the patients happy, they are all efficient in their work & can be a really good listener when needed.

"....& who is that little bird hiding behind you ?" Another nurse asked just to make the other one feel acknowledged.

"This is Lionel. He is new in this ward." The nurse who went to attend them pulled Lionel. "...he's inpatient in 19B, i was talking about him the other day remember ?"

"...of course i do, Ellen". He was quite a hot topic among the staffs since he arrived, not because he's Lionel Messi but because no one could control his tantrums & meltdowns neither they could make him eat, the doctors first tried to talk with him then threatened him they'll put him in the secluded room, after that he's not sure how days passed but he has been sleeping a lot.

"I'm happy to see you finally getting out of your bed & not trying to run away from us but you can't do it alone babe....not with the 'fall-risk' band on" the first nurse told Lionel holding up his left hand to point out the yellow fall-risk band.

"...the nice lady told me to take a stroll with her in the corridor.....th-then i was sitting on the chair...she said she'll be back in a minute but-...." Lionel stumbled putting his words together.

"Aww he called Marilyn 'nice lady'" someone from the back whispered. Marilyn Carelli is the senior nurse here whom Cristiano talked to earlier.

"I think i should go now...btw he wanted to call his family" Cristiano said coughing a little to get attention. Hearing Cristiano will be leaving Lionel tightened his grip around his hand. He doesn't want Cristiano to leave, he's the only familiar face here.

"Sure babe...Ruby will call your family" she nudged Lionel to walk inside the room. He literally tried to drag Cris in with him refusing to let go of his hand but the other one stood dumbfounded. *Did he really went crazy after losing the final ?* Cristiano wondered.

"Come with me Lionel...c'mon" the taller red head nurse wrapped an arm around his shoulder to guide him inside.

"He...come with?" Lionel asked looking back at Cristiano expectantly.

"He'll be here.." Ruby told him a bit confused but Lionel kept staring at him with pleading eyes.

"I'll be here" Cristiano reassured almost like he's been charmed by those puppy eyes.

"....you've session with your physiotherapist" the first nurse whispered to Cristiano after Lionel left with Ruby.

"Can i not do it today ? ...don't feel like stretching today"

"No honey you can't skip it without a legit reason"

"But i don't feel like doing it today...why isn't that enough ?" Cristiano whined like a petulant child furrowing his eyebrows.

"It is not healthy to skip your routine" the nurse sighed "you just attend your session with Marcel. I'll go and ask him to let you leave early....how does that sound ?"

"Not great but it'll work. Thank you miss...Ellen." Cristiano said after eyeing her badge. She is probably just 8-9 years older than him but still he added 'miss' to be polite.

"You are welcome handsome.." the nurse said rolling her eyes.

After that Cristiano stood leaning against the door & heard Lionel whole conversation with his parents & his pleas of 'please get me out of here' & 'you can't do this to me' but what striked him the most was the 'please mum, I'm scared' part. So far he was helping him because he was miserable but suddenly he feel so protective of Lionel. Then the five minutes were up & the line disconnected. Cristiano watched Lionel fighting three nurses over the phone receiver with Ellen shaking her head sadly standing beside him. He didn't try to hurt anyone, he just didn't want to hand over the receiver even though no one was waiting for him on the other side of the line. Ruby did tell him to say bye to his family for now but he was too overwhelmed. It hurts Cristiano to see his rival so small & defeated, he's the only one eligible to throw Cristiano a tough challenge & he has been consistent with it. Without this competition, the constant pressure to outdo eachother Cristiano wouldn't have achieved so much. Lionel Messi is his motivation to be better.

"Lionel !? ....Lionel!" Cristiano called his name a bit louder than he intended & the other one finally stopped fighting to look around. "...its of no use Lionel. I'm sorry but no one is waiting for you in the line"

"I'm so sorry babe but its just how it is..." Ruby said taking the receiver from his hand.

"I-i wanna go back in my room" Messi said sniffling, eyes red from crying.

"Thank god you are here...Lionel i told you to wait for me. I was looking everywhere for you &....Cristiano !? You!...i asked you to just talk with him. Why did you both wonder off ?" Miss Carelli stormed into the room scolding them both.

"We are right here...." Cristiano mumbled.

"I wanna go back to my room" Lionel said crying loudly this time.

"Why Lionel ? ...you just got out of your room don't you wanna look around ?" Miss Carelli said concernedly wrapping an arm around his body.

"N-no..no.." Lionel struggled with his words hicupping & trembling. Ruby & another nurse present in the room guided him to sit on the sofa & nurse Carelli squatted down on the floor to come level with him.

"Lionel look at me.." she cooed but no response. "Lionel please ?" & Lionel did look up biting his bottom lip to hold back his sobs. "...don't do that. It's okay to cry" she placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "You stayed in your room for two days. For two days you didn't want to see anyone...today finally you got out of your room. You had the will & courage to face people, thats a step towards progress....a little one but forward is forward." Lionel looked up at her then moved his eyes down almost immediately. His cries has turned into soft sobs, bottom lip jutting out, stress lines formed between his eyesbrows...Lionel looks like a big baby sitting on the sofa but Miss Carelli's words surely did leave a mark on him which was clear in his features, same it did to Cristiano who shifted standing where he was from the beginning.

All this time he watched his arch rival who hardly ever showed any kind of emotions in front of people, cold hearted said by many give up his pride & break down in front of him. What can possibly go wrong in his life that Lionel Messi broke down in front of his enemy. Cristiano knows him very well, Messi wouldn't have done it with his conscious mind. Nurse Ellen was standing by Cristiano through the whole episode in case he freaked out too & she noticed his little nervous movement. Although all the staffs are sure by now Cristiano doesn't need much assistance he still has his dark days & one of the nurses is always there to talk with him because his psychiatrist said his depression comes when he stresses too much about his injury. Some how nurse Carelli noticed Cristiano's blank expression too & she stopped with Lionel for a moment & turned towards Ellen giving Cristiano a small smile & Ellen nodded at her understandingly.

"Cristiano its time for your physiotherapy" she announced.

"I told you i don't wanna go, i wanna be here"

"Cristiano!"

"Stop treating me like that....there is nothing wrong with me!" Cristiano yelled without meaning to shocking everyone in the room.

"Cris'ano..." Lionel whimpered. He doesn't want the other one to get into trouble because of him but all he could manage to say was his name.

"Behave both of you!" Miss Carelli stopped them both. "We encourage friendship but if you both keep on behaving like this around eachother it'll go down in your records & Dr. Milani will keep you both away from eachother...do you both want that ?" She was being honest with both but got no answer from any of them "...good! Now Cristiano go & do your physiotherapy & Lionel...we still need to talk." Still no reaction from any of them.

"You both will see eachother again in the lunchtime then you've the whole afternoon.." Ellen reassured them both.

"....& i promise none of this will go down in your records. I will never want to separate two best friends." Miss Carelli's words dispelled both of their fears. They are not even sure when they became 'best friends', they just met about an hour ago but now both of them have accepted eachother as friends at least without knowing how the other one feels about the other. Its against the protocols to let a patient stay near another patient when he's having a fit but the nurses still let Cristiano stay because in some way they understood one's presence is keeping the other one calm.

"Cristiano come..." Ellen nudged him to walk out of the room & he did with a grumpy face. He glanced back at Messi for one last time & gave him a thumbs up with a little smile when their eyes met before leaving.

"Hmm Lionel...like i was saying in last one hour you talked with people more than you talked in last two days. You've already made such a good friend who seem to care so much about you....do you want this or do you want to go back in your room & surround yourself with negativity & miss all these little pleasures of life ?" Miss Carelli asked him rubbing his back.

"I want-...i want. I want. I want this." Lionel said after a minute of double thinking.

"Thank you so much for this answer passerotto" she hugged him while Ruby smiled to herself sitting beside him.

"Passerotto ?" Lionel asked frowning.

"Yes...it means 'little sparrow'....learning to fly. You are like a sparrow...little but brave & no malice" she said making Lionel blush. Of all the titles & nicknames he has got so far form fans & media this one is the one he likes the most because he knows the 'nice lady' has gave it to him with lots of live.

\--------------------------

"You were right" Ellen said standing beside grumpy Cristiano in the elevator, trying make a conversation.

"Hmm ?"

"You were right when you said there's nothing wrong with you" she clarified "theres nothing wrong with anyone living here. Everyone has a different personality so their coping capability is different. Most of the people here are in crisis & don't know how to deal with their problems. You should be proud of yourself for being confident enough to say this out loud."

"I know" Cristiano shrugged & got out first when the door of the lift opened instead of following the nurse.

"Hey...don't be mad at us. We in no way tried to separate both-...." she said taking bigs steps to catch up with Cristiano but he cut her off.

"I know...I'm just worried about him" he confessed. *He is worried about Lionel Messi* "....why is he here ? What happened to him?" Cristiano asked hesitantly.

"Well, this...umm..i can't give such personal information about another patient but you are his friend he might open up to you one day...& we are here...Marcel ?" Ellen called the man sitting in a chair inside working on his papers.

"Ell! Please come in"

"Cristiano's here" she said nudging Cristiano to walk inside.

"Yes..Cristiano, how are you feeling today ?" The man asked excitedly. Cristiano is very much sure he'll have to sign a autograph for this man before leaving here. 

"Much better..."

"Glad i can help...take off your tracks & lay on the table"

"I wish i was a physiotherapist" she said seductively & Cristiano rolled his eyes sitting on the table just wearing black briefs. "Btw Marcel I'll come to pick him up early today...about after half an hour till then he's your responsibility. Don't let him wonder away, don't get yourself fired". Ellen kept her promise, she certainly is Cristiano's favorite now with Miss Carelli.

"Why early today ?" Marcel asked curiously.

"Uhh Dr. Marchisio will see him today & you know how he doesn't like 'late'.

"Uhh ok". Ellen gave him a thumbs up before leaving & Cristiano grinned at her.

"Hey man can i use your phone ?" Cristiano asked his physiotherapist.

"Sure" the guy quickly handed his phone over to Cristiano & started messaging his legs. He is a huge CR7 fan which makes him a little unprofessional sometimes & Cristiano obviously takes advantage of it like using his phone to call his friends & sisters (but never his mother), unrestricted internet use, listening to music...the guy will do literary anything he'll say.

Cristiano is sure what he'll do today. He quickly texted Iker & told him everything about meeting Lionel Messi in a psychiatric ward, their interaction together in detail & how he feels about this whole thing. He also came to know about how Lionel Messi didn't shed a drop of tear after losing the world cup & how dead his face looked. The clock was ticking & it was time for Ellen to come & get him so he quickly asked his captain what he should do next.

'Look its just been a day, maybe you are feeling this way about him because you saw him in such a vulnerable situation or this is the result of all the crazy experiment they are doing on you..'  
seen : 11:45

'Iker i'm serious...'  
sent : 11:45 

'Then i hope you know about the risks you are gonna take.'  
seen : 11:47  
'He is Lionel Messi, he can't be your one night stand or 3 month relationship trial plus you aren't sure about his feelings and also he's going to be your boyfriend not girlfriend :)'  
seen : 11:48  
'....but man if this is really what your heart wants go for it. Talk with him...know about his problems...help him out with them, create a place for yourself in his heart..you've all our support'  
seen : 11:50

'I'll...thanx cap'  
sent : 11:51

'WTF Cris ? You ? &?, Lionel Messi ? Now we've a legit reason to keep you in that dump for forever xD -sergio'  
seen : 11:52  
'Ohh no i take my words back. Bang the shit out of that little mother fucker you've our blessing'  
seen : 11:53

'For fucks sake Iker you couldn't tell me that your joker boyfriend is in the room ? -__-'  
sent : 11:54

'We were making love...you interuppeted us..we'd to disconnect so many things :v'  
seen : 11:54

'Ewww'  
sent : 11:55  
'Ebola in words'  
sent : 11:55 

'respect experienced people, do you want me to tell your mother that you are seducing nurses & using their phones to connect with outer world...that you aren't taking your treatment seriously? :v -sergio'  
seen : 11:57

'DO NOT TELL HER SERGIO'  
sent : 11:57  
'Btw it's my physiotherapist's phone'  
sent : 11:57

'Ewww Cristiano what has they done to you @_@ -sergio'  
seen : 11:58

'-_____-'  
sent : 11:58  
'I gotta go. Thanx for the advice cap :))'  
sent : 11:58 

Cristiano quickly deleted the whole chat & returned the phone to his therapist. Its almost time, Ellen will be here any moment & he will be able to return to Lionel. Lunch time starts in 30mins anyway. Maybe him & Lionel can share a table together & talk properly this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is how they met...crazy ? I know!  
> From now on for next 3-4 chapters 1 chapter will be Leo & Cris' current situation & one will be flashback about how their relationship was built. In upcoming flashback chapters we'll know exactly why Leo was committed in the hospital, Cristiano & his relationship build & their coming out. & sorry if u think their relationship build here happened too fast then I'm sorry i'd to cut many details off the sto6or else it'll take forever to finish :/
> 
> Do let me know what you guys think about this chapter though ^_^ & thank you for leaving all the nice comments & kudos
> 
> Tumblr : www.mrs-messi.tumblr.com


	17. Chapter 17

"This has to be Cristiano..." Lionel freed his hand from Celia's grip who was just connecting back his IV tube to his wrist after he bathed while Martha, his new nurse was drying his wet hair but he sprinted across the room & ran down the stairs as fast as he could as soon as he heard the loud noise of helicopter blades because he's gonna see Cristiano after three weeks! So he ignored all the muscle cramps & dizziness & run towards the backyard which has a marked helipad on the runway for landing of their private jet.

"Lionel you'll hurt yourself...control your excitement!" Celia yelled running behind him.

"Cris-ti-anooo!!!" Lionel called out leaning against the frame of the glass door & Cristiano gave him his million dollar toothy smile stepping down from the helicopter. They are seeing eachother after so many days its emotional for both of them, they didn't say anything more to each other. The moist eyes & warm smile conveyed the feelings to eachother better than words could. Cristiano noticed while walking towards the house his boyfriend shifting uncomfortably from where he was standing & he looked down to check his legs which were bandaged thickly since Leo got drunk & had that accident in their wine cellar. Lionel got embarrassed at Cristiano staring at his injured feet, more because he did it to himself & now it makes him feel like a pathetic attention seeking soul. But Cristiano never saw it like that so he wrapped an arm around Lionel's thin body & pulled him up on his own feet. Even though this should be embarrassing stepping up on Cristiano's feet with his parents standing in the back, he's grateful to Cristiano for understanding his discomfort. He really shouldn't have run down the stairs so fast with his injured leg.

"Heyaaa...i missed you so much" Cristiano said placing a kiss on Leo's damp hair, inhaling the familiar scent that he missed so much.

"Me too..." Lionel snuggled closer "...missed you more than you did....wished you were here every second" Leo said with a sad smile.

"C'mon now babe...be happy i'm here. I've some good news & presents for you"

"mmm..you're the present" Lionel mumbled ducking his face in his boyfriend's chest.

"I think you'll love it more once you see it" Cristiano chuckled.

"What is it ?" Leo narrowed his eyes at Cris.

"First lets go inside" Cristiano tottered inside with Leo on his feet who hugged him tightly around his neck. "How you feeling right now ?" He asked.

"Me..? ...i-i'm so much better right now..i-uhh.." Leo lost his words under Cristiano's serious gaze. Even though they talk every day Cristiano calls Celia every night to know about Leo's recovery in details. She told him how Lionel is trying to remain calm & content, though his communication with his parents has minimized a lot he still does prefer their company sometimes but his physical recovery isn't very remarkable & he's not having his meals regularly either yet.

"You two love birds are so cute together, i didn't want to disturb" Celia said excitedly making the couple blush.

"Wait...did you take our picture ?" Leo asked surprised when he noticed the phone in his mother's hand & the camera opened in it.

"I couldn't resist..." Celia said stifling a smile.

"hmm i smell something delicious cooking" Cristiano said inhaling the truly mouth watering scent coming from the kitchen

"I've made some pie for breakfast...should i get you a piece, bet you are hungry from all the travelling" Celia asked

"Ermm...i'm still full from my breakfast but i want some of that pie for lunch"

"Sure babe"

"Did you have breakfast?" Cristiano asked Lionel who nodded nervously. Cris turned towards Celia for confirmation who nodded too.

"Ah-i had cocoa milk & pie for breakfast. Th-the pie was tasty.." Lionel stuttered.

"Lionel relax, why are you getting so worked up?" Cristiano placed his hands on Leo's shoulders to calm him. He didn't understand why did Leo got so nervous & tensed at this little thing, he just asked if he had his breakfast since how much he has been skipping meals lately. Obviously something is not right.

"Can we go in my room now ?" Lionel said almost whispering.

"....already? You don't even have to do any walking" Cristiano tried to cheer him since he knows Lionel barely get out of his room. He was actually a bit surprised to see Leo being the first person to greet him after he got here.

"O-okay if you want to be here"

"No no..its alright, we can go upstairs" Cristiano said quickly then turned towards Celia. "Can't see Mr.Messi ?"

"He's here somewhere with Eduardo" Celia said laughing a bit.

"...you still call dad Mr.Messi" Lionel giggled.

"Shut up!" Cristiano walked towards the stairs. He lifted Leo up on his arms effortlessly ignoring Lionel's protests.

"...tell Mr. Messi i said hi" Cristiano said walking up the stairs.

"Okay...I'll be upstairs in a minute" Celia replied.

"Asshole! ...you have to do it ?" Cristiano asked dramatically, pushing the door of Leo's room open with his leg.

"Do what ?"

"Embarrass me in front of your parents....hello, Martha" Cristiano greeted the nurse who was organizing Leo's bed.

"Hi Cristiano...my god look at you two" Martha gasped looking at Cristiano carrying Lionel.

"...look at me, I'm all maxed up on the embarrassment scale" Lionel whispered pointing at himself. "Let me down now.." he started squirming so much that Cristiano had to put him down on the newly made bed.

"I'll be back in a minute..." Cristiano stormed out of the room before Leo could response.

"...where are you going ?"

"Uh uh uhh...Lionel, he said he'll be back in a minute" Martha caught his wrist in a tight grip before Leo could get out of his bed & follow Cristiano making him pout.

Cristiano went downstairs again to get his stuffs & Leo's presents from the helicopter but when he got there he saw Jorge has already bought the bags in the living room & now sitting in the plush sofa, playing with the little guinea pig which he has bought for Lionel.

"Hello, Mr. Messi...i guess you've bought all these inside." Cristiano gestured towards the bags of expensive clothing brands keep on the floor.

"Yea....from where did you get this little thing?" Jorge asked rubbing the back of the tiny animal.

"I was passing by a pet shop....it was caged in their showcase, thought buying it for Leo will be a good idea.." Cristiano said.

"He is going to be so happy when he gets it" Celia said leaning against the kitchen counter.

"...thats the point. For now I'm taking all these but leaving the pet here, i want to surprise him but not now" Cristiano said collecting all the shopping bags from the floor. He wants to spend some time with Leo alone, if he gives him the guinea pig right now it'll have all of Lionel's attention.

"Sure babe....thank you for doing this" Celia thanked him sincerely & Cristiano smiled back before running back to Leo.

"What took you so long?" Lionel mumbled with a frown while Martha tapped the IV on his hand & adjusted the roller clamp. He winced in pain when the fluid entered his vein.

"I'm so sorry babe but you know it hurts a little at first" the nurse apologized & Leo whimpered weakly. Cristiano who was still standing at the foot of the bed left the shopping bags by the study table & sat beside Leo & the other one curled up against him almost immediately. How did Lionel's 'being happy' time become so limited ? Cristiano wondered stroking Leo's hair. Why does facing the smallest things he dislikes triggers him to this extent that his mood changes so abruptly?

"Lionel, you okay ?" Martha asked placing a hand on his shoulder but no reply.

"He'll be alright...everything will be alright...He just needs some time ?" Cristiano said to Martha rubbing Leo's back when he got no reply from from the other one.

"...do you two need some time alone?" She asked & Cristiano nodded.

"Leo ??" Cris whispered in his ears after some minutes. "I got something to show you" he took out a photo from his pocket carefully without much movement & held it towards Leo. Lionel turned his face to see it, he took the picture from his boyfriend's hand immediately & sat up straight.

"Is this the baby ? Our baby ?" Lionel tugged Cristiano's shirt with his free hand, another hand holding the first ultra sound picture of their baby.

"Hey hey easy..." Cristiano said laughing a little, unwrapping Leo's fingers from his shirt. He pulled Leo closer to his body & leaned against the pillows with Leo resting his head on his chest never moving his eyes from the picture even once. Suddenly Leo's eyes sparked up & this is exactly what Cristiano wanted, he knows Lionel can give up on himself but never on their baby or Junior or him & this gives Cristiano great joy & a 'husbandy' feeling. "Okay now give it to me...don't want you to get your hand hurt again" Cristiano took the picture from Leo's hand seeing how much he's moving the hand where where his intravenous fluids are plugged. Leo groaned in annoyance & snatched the picture back from Cristiano, this time with the other hand.

"The baby is so tiny....like a little bean woaaa..." Lionel got comfortable sitting with his back pressed against Cristiano. "Is it a boy or a girl ? ....no no noo, don't tell me now, let it be a surprise...."

"Lionel suhhhh, calm down!! ....the doctor can't tell yet. They'll be able to say it after the next sonogram"

"I can't calm down...we're having a baby!!! Lionel rolled on his side to get on Cristiano's lap.

"...you are just gonna role around all day today, let me take this off before you hurt yourself" Cristiano sighed and unplugged the IV tube from the stopcock gently then capped both the tube & the stopcock attached in Leo's hand. Celia taught him this during Cristiano's last visit while Leo was sleeping so that he can do it when needed in case nobody else is around to do it.

"Can i please go with you to see the baby ? ....how is the mother doing 'n all" Lionel inhaled deeply lying on his back to calm himself.

"No..."

"Pleaseee, just for one day....i want to see, only once i promise" Lionel begged.

"...first of all Lionel, she isn't the 'mother', she is our surrogate & you can't see because the lady carrying the baby wants to keep her identity secret...she's just doing it for money & we also want the same...to keep our identity secret." Cris explained. "....trust me Leo i get all these updates about the baby through e-mails.

"....I'm sorry" Leo mumbled.

"Its alright bebe....you've no idea how much you made me happy by doing this" he pressed a kiss on Leo's forehead.

"Me too...." Leo snuggled closer to Cristiano. "You are wearing formals.." he said touching the soft fabric of the sky blue shirt Cristiano was wearing.

"Went on a date before coming here..." Cristiano said laughing a bit.

"Cristiano!"

"Ok..ok....wanted to look handsome for you...you are a jealous guy" the other one joked.

"...'m not a jealous guy" Lionel said pouting.

"No !?" Cris arched his perfectly groomed eyebrow challengingly.

"Okay i'm a jealous guy but on a normal level...you can think whatever you want" Leo's pout deepened.

\----------------

"Lionel? Cristiano?....wake up for lunch.." Celia called both of them. They were were talking about their daily life when they are apart before falling asleep cuddled against eachother.

"Hmm..!?" Cristiano jolted out of his sleep.

"We are getting late for lunch hun..." Celia told him.

"We'll be down in a minute.." Cristiano said stretching & yawning.

"Uhh Leo....." Celia trailed off without completing her sentence.

"I'll wake him-...."

"No, i mean....he doesn't like eating with us...or doesn't like eating at all sometimes, you know.." she said vaguely. Of course Cristiano knows but he won't let Leo starve himself to death when he's around.

"Don't worry about that..he'll eat" Cristiano said frowning.

"If you can make him-.. that'll be....I'll be very grateful" Celia said walking out of the room.

"...is he doing this a lot now ? like in regular basis?...its unhealthy. Don't you people encourage him ?" Cristiano said suddenly & Celia turned back.

"We encourage him for everything Cristiano, everything! & yes he does it everyday. He's totally dependent on fluid minerals & glucose for his nourishment" she pointed at the IV stand "....but since Martha came she makes sure he takes the minimum calories needed. Cristiano please tell him something, you are the only person he'll listen to right now" she said desperately wiping a drop of tear from the corner of her eyes.

"I'll talk with him today, you can stop worrying about that. We'll be down in a minute..." Cris told her & Celia nodded before leaving.

"Hey Leo !? ...baby wake up ?" Cristiano patted Lionel's cheek a little harder than he intended. He suddenly feels angry on Leo, he promised Cristiano he'll take care of himself.

"Ummphh..." the other one stirred up from sleep.

"Wake up Leo..." Cristiano called him again, a little softer this time & Lionel opened his eyes. He stared vaguely at Cristiano for few seconds, blinking & Cristiano too just look at his sleepy boyfriend. How can he stay mad at such an angelic face ? Lionel needs help not someone to give him more anxiety. Before Cristiano knew, Lionel crawled to him weakly & slumped himself on Cristiano. 

"Cris'ano..?" Lionel said feebly hugging him.

"Yes bebe ? ....I'm right here" Cristiano hugged him back.

"...i feel dizzy" Leo huffed.

"...its because you haven't eaten for long carino...you'll feel so much better if you have some food" Cristiano whispered in Leo's ear like he's trying to convince a sick 5 year old.

"Everything is blur...y-you are blur...& it scares...me" Lionel said taking long breathes between his words.

"Sh shhh...you've nothing to be scared of" Cristiano shushed him. He guided Leo to lay on his back & got out of the bed.

"Stop leaving me all the time!" Lionel bawled, kicking his legs & squirming a bit frustratedly but his teary eyes were closed.

"Hey..hey, I'm not going anywhere" Cristiano caught both his hands into a tight grip "...I'm here with you...for as long as you want me to be with you, i'll be here but I'll just have to go to the dining hall for one minute" he kissed their intertwined hands before leaving.

Cristiano walked into the dining room with a grumpy face. He took two plates & started taking food from different bowls kept on the table without even looking at anyone.

"He didn't came ?" Celia asked with a sad smile like she was expecting this.

"He woke up.....a bit stressed...we can have the dinner together hopefully" Cristiano grumbled adding some croquetas in both the plates already full with paella & milanesa.

"I'll go & have a check on him.." Celia made her way to Leo's room. Cristiano finally cut two small pieces of pies that Celia promised him and walked out of the dinning hall. When he entered the room Celia & Martha was struggling to plug back the IV in Leo's hand but he was trying to resist them with the little amount of energy he had & babbling incoherently.

"...lemme go, it hurts" Leo complained.

"If you stop fighting it won't hurt" Celia said holding his hand while Martha did her work & then taped his wrist well.

"I wanna leave.." Leo sobbed.

"I know babe....you don't have to stay here for 6-7 months, just take rest well for one month then we can all go back to our normal life" Celia said stroking his hair.

"No..you're lying to me. You keep saying this over & over...please i just want to leave...i want to see my baby" Lionel broke into tears. Cristiano can't see his Leo like this everytime he visits. This is just too horrible & cruel. If Leo was with him he'd educate Leo about his treatment before forcing him, he would made him understand & he would never have lied to people like his parents did to cover his absence which is not only an insult to Leo but also a reason why he's so depressed.

"Baby?" Celia frowned.

"He's talking about Cris...he told me he misses him a lot" Cristiano interrupted before Leo could say anything more & Celia gave Lionel a apologetic look. "Why there's two now ?" Cristiano kept the plates on the nightstand & asked pointing at the two IV tubes now connected to Lionel's hand.

"That is for....some important medicines, he just needs them okay...his bp is very low" Celia sighed tiredly not really wanting to tell it in front of Leo.

"...can i please talk with you for a minute?" Cristiano said with a serious expression & Celia nodded. Martha closed the door of Leo's room behind her, Celia & Cristiano was already talking in the corridor. "Why don't we just take him to a hospital !?" Cristiano said a bit harshly than he intended to.

"The results would still be the same....he just needs to take his hormone injections & tablets everyday, eat healthy & take rest. He doesn't need to depend on fluids if he doesn't skip meals. All this sickness has already made him weak if he doesn't eat-.....how'll he-how'll he carry on with all this-....oh my god, if we got a little bit of cooperation from him his recovery would be so much faster" Celia cried.

"I-i didn't mean to upset you...." Cristiano tried to calm her. Situations like this really leaves him confused whose side he'll take ? Lionel's parents or Leo's. "...please don't cry. Its just he's so unhappy...i feel like he has many things to say but he can't open up to us. His behaviour changed a lot.."

"I understand what you're trying to say Cris....i tried to talk with him but he doesn't want to talk so..."

"I get you..."

"....I'll remove the stitches of his wounds in the evening, he is already looking bad than his other days, hope it doesn't get worse"

"....if things get worse we can't do it today" Martha said.

"I'll try to keep him cheered up" Cris said tiredly then made his way back in the room.

"What were you talking with them that you couldn't say it in front of me ?" Lionel said feebly but there was anger in his voice.

"I suggested to get you admitted in a hospital rather than keeping you here" Cristiano said guiding Leo to sit up, a bit surprised by the way he reacted. "Why are you getting so mad at me ?" He asked propping a pillow between Lionel's back & the headboard so that he can sit comfortably.

"Wha-why ? Why would you do that ?" Lionel asked suddenly all worked up.

"You don't want that ? ...i thought you hated in here." Cris said arching an eyebrow questionably sitting beside Leo "I thought hospital will be a better place right now than here then i can come to visit you everyday, your friends can-...."

"I'm locked up in here not you! Did i ask you to do this !?" Lionel lashed out at Cristiano.

"What is wrong with you ?" Cristiano yelled back "....can't you see i was trying to help ? I don't want you to stay here in this suffocating atmosphere where you can't even see any other people your parents, two nurses & me...once in a while. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror ? You are all skin & bones...I feel your welfare is being neglected here". Guilt swelled up in Leo as he heard his boyfriend talk in shaky voice, he wrapped both his hands around Cristiano's bicep & curled up into a ball against him. How could he yell at Cristiano? What was he thinking ?

"I'm sorry...i'm sorry...i'm sorryy please forgive me...I'm so sorry...i didn't mean to yell, i don't want to lose you-...."

"sushh i know you didn't" Cristiano cut him off, wiping the tears off his eyes "....& if this makes you feel any better you are not going to go to a hospital"

"Take me with you...please?" Lionel mewled after a moment of silence.

"I...i really do want you to be with me right now but...." Cristiano knows nobody will take better care of Leo than him but if he takes Leo to Madrid he is pretty sure Lionel won't take his treatment seriously, it'll be easier for him to bunk his medications, it'll just hamper his treatment & Cristiano doesn't want that plus he isn't sure how he'll bear seeing Leo going through all this pain. "....its just to complicated now, think how much it'll hurt your parents if you leave but Leo i can promise you one thing I'll be here whenever you need me, like if i go home today & you want me tomorrow, I'll be here, even if you need cuddles at 3:00am I'll try my best to come as fast as possible" Cristiano pressed a kiss on Leo's head.

"I know..." Leo said smiling a little, rubbing his eyes with his sleeves.

"No more crying, lets have our lunch yaa ?" Cristiano said untangling Leo's hands from his bicep.

"Now ? I just had breakfast like an hour ago" Lionel frowned.

"Leo its 12:45 we are late for our lunch" Cris said checking his watch.

"I'll eat after few minutes? I'm not properly hungry yet"

"You'll eat whatever you can!" Cristiano said commandingly making Lionel shrink away at the sudden change of tone in his boyfriend & Cristiano mentally kicked himself immediately. "Lionel i didn't mean to say it like that...you know i get all riled up when i'm hungry" he tried to excuse himself. Leo nodded timidly. "...look paella & milanese...your favorite" Cristiano took the plates from the nightstand which he bought about 20 minutes ago. He stacked two pillows in front of Lionel & placed his plate on it. Cristiano watched Lionel playing with the spoon then slowly getting fidgety. "Want some help with it carino ?" He asked to get the other one's attention & Lionel shaked his head a 'no'. Leo took some paella in the spoon & made his first attempt to eat. His hands were trembling so badly that he dropped more food than he could eat. Cristiano stopped his eating & watched Lionel struggling to eat. He barely chewed anything in his mouth & gulp down his food half-heartedly.

"Leo let me...you are dropping more than eating" Cristiano kept his plate on the nightstand & took the spoon from Leo's hand. Cris took his time before giving Leo the next spoon but much to his dismay the other one kept gulping down his food like he's been forced to do so, looking down vaguely at his lap "Chew your food before swallowing..." he said with a frown "...Leo are you...are you crying?" Cristiano immediately rested the spoon & his hand moved up to caress Lionel's cheek when he saw a drop of tear rolling down his eyes. "Baby what happened ? Please look at me..?" Cristiano asked panicking.

"...nuffing" Lionel nodded his head with teary eyes, glancing up at Cristiano.

"Whats wrong baby, tell me at least ?" Cristiano pleaded but Leo remained silent. "...then please don't cry while eating" he finally gave up & wiped Leo's tears. *Leo surely is hiding something from everyone...is he developing any eating disorder? Fuckk...what the hell am i thinking* Cristiano wondered why is Lionel behaving like this then cursed himself for even thinking like this about his boyfriend. "Lionel we really can't continue if you keep on behaving like this" Cristiano said frustratedly listening to his sobs getting louder.

"Cri-ss, unplug the IV i feel sick.." Lionel told him feebly.

"...just a minute babe.." Cristiano quickly detached the plastic pipe from his hand & Lionel to the bathroom as fast as he could once his hand was free. Cristiano heard Leo vomiting in the bathroom then looked at the leftovers on the plate, he sighed & placed it on the floor knowing Leo won't be eating anymore & discarded the pillows on the other side room since they were covered with sauce & rice grains. He walked in the bathroom to find Leo slumped up against the bathroom counter, water running from the sink tap & Leo breathing heavily holding his stomach. "Baby can you walk ?" Cristiano asked after Leo's breathing evened up.

"Hurt l-leg" Lionel said managed to say.

"Hop on" Cristiano said closing the tap & helped Leo to stand on his feet once again like he did in the morning but Leo yelped in pain so Cris lifted him up without saying anything & carried him back in the room.

"You are becoming my favorite ride" Lionel said with a smile even though his cheeks were stained with tears while Cristiano placed him on the bed.

"I thought i was your favorite ride already, if you know-...."

"Yes i know what you mean!" Lionel said blushing before the other one could complete him sentence & Cristiano winked at him.

"Ohh...baby your stitches are bleeding" Cristiano checked his feet, blood stains were forming on the white gauze.

"Its uhh..its nothing serious" Lionel stuttered still holding his stomach tightly.

"Leo, your stitches are bleeding...your mum planned on removing them today." He said angrily. "I'm calling her..."

"Cristiano no...listen to me...Cristiano!?" Lionel tried to stop him but he stormed out of the room.

"Leo what happened ?" Celia rushed into the room. "I told you don't run down the stairs, why didn't you before ?" She scolded. Since last two weeks she has become very overprotective of Lionel so its obvious she panicked.

"....happened like a minute ago" Leo mumbled & Celia looked back at Cristiano for confirmation who was standing by the study table. He nodded. "...I'll be back just in a minute" she sighed & walked out of the room tiredly.

"Why did you tell ?"

"What why ? What do you expect me to do sit quietly & do nothing while you keep bleeding? What is wrong with you today ?" Cristiano said very irritated this time. Lionel wanted to say something but Martha entered the room & both of them got quite.

"...warned you not to get jumpy with those injuries" Martha said putting a plastic sheet under Leo's feet. She opened the first-aid box & sorted out the necessary things that'll be needed. Meanwhile Celia came inside the room.

"Wh-what are you gonna do?" Leo stuttered.

"Gonna check how serious it is then decide" Celia said pulling on the rubber gloves.

"Stop scaring the boy Celi! I'm sure its not very serious, we'll just clean it up & patch it with a new bandage...stop worrying so much nino" Martha reassured Leo & Celia gave him a warm smile.

"She's right babe, i was just joking" she said rubbing Lionel's knee but his expression didn't change a bit instead he became even more tensed seeing her taking out the scissor. He gave Cristiano a pleading look, Cristiano sighed & walked over to him.

"Lionel relax.." Cristiano said sitting beside him.

"Its all be'cuz of you.." Lionel complained.

"How is this because of me ?" Cristiano said smiling at his petulant boyfriend & wrapped an arm around Leo.

Celia cut the bandage & cleaned the blood. Fortunately it was nothing serious like she said earlier so she sprayed some alcohol rub & put on a gel on the broken stitch to help it dry faster then she & Martha gave his leg a new dressing.

"All done! Now that didn't hurt much, right?" Martha asked Lionel nodded pouting.

"Leo will you please take off your tracks so i can check the wounds in your thighs ?" Celia asked. "I think we are ready to remove the stitches there"

"Noh! I-i think we should give it some more time to heal" Lionel's breathing hitched again.

"Lionel i promise it'll be as painless as this one" Martha pointed towards his feet.

"Yes Lionel it won't hurt much now but if you delay it might get painful" Celia told him.

"No...not today" Lionel said folding his legs with great difficulty, eyes getting glassy again, voice cracked. He shifted closer against Cristiano gripping on his shirt tightly. "Cristiano !?" he begged tugging on his shirt.

"Carino you heard her, it won't hurt" Cristiano said tightening his arms around Leo's shoulder.

"Lionel c'mon, it'll take just a minute" Celia encouraged him.

"I said not today!" Lionel yelled surprising everyone in the room. "Get out!!"

"Lionel!" Cristiano tried to stop him.

"Lionel do you want me to call Eduardo ? Because this will happen with or without your cooperation" Celia threatened.

"Baby why do you want to get yourself into trouble ?" Martha sighed. She really feels sorry for him sometimes. "It'll be harder to remove the stitch if the skin grows back plus its risky too"

"I just need some time, I'm tired...please, y-you can't force me for everything like this" Lionel cried ducking his face in Cristiano's chest.

"When did you ever do anything willingly, hmm ?" Cristiano murmured stroking his hair.

"If he's tired i think we should let him rest today, one night won't make much difference anyway" Martha said.

"Fine.." Celia huffed after a moment of thinking "but at least you can let me see it ?" She asked rubbing Leo's back to soothe him.

"Noh!"

"Why not ? I promise i'll just see it...i won't even touch"

"..you'll hate me 'gain"

"Why will i hate you again? ...& when did i ever hated you anyway ?" Celia frowned. Then something clicked in her mind. "Lionel, why would i hate you ? What did you do ?" She asked him again. This time firmly.

"..nothing" Leo's voice was barely audible.

"I'll call your dad!"

"Cristiano say something!?" Lionel tugged his shirt harder this time.

"Lee-oh!" Lionel's violent pull made Cristiano cough a bit. "...take off your tracks"

"Is everything okay ?" Jorge entered the room with a confused expression. "What is it now ?" He asked frowning seeing Celia struggling with Leo.

"He isn't letting me check his wounds"

"Leo let your mother do her work"

"Lionel what are you hiding from us !?" Celia kept on pushing him.

"You all are so bad..." Leo mewled.

"Enough of this, let me see!" Celia tried to pull down his trouser forcefully but Leo started moving fretfully & kicking her.

"Leo, no! ...your leg!" Cristiano separated them both by getting between & holding Leo back.

"Cristiano help me!" Leo looked at him with pleading eyes.

"What's wrong with our little man now ?" Eduardo interrupted walking into the room before Cris could reply Leo

"No! No! No! Noo...please Cristiano i need to talk with you, please trust me. I've something to tell you.." Lionel got even more restless seeing Eduardo. He hates Eduardo. Eduardo always acts nice & sweet in front of his parents but Leo still remembers his first day with him & he absolutely hated the marks he left on his body while pinning him down to check him. Leo doesn't want to get through that level of humiliation again 

"I'm listening..." Cristiano said loosening his grip around Leo's thin biceps

"...in private" Lionel said, lips trembling, too scared to look at anyone else in the room.

"What does he possibly has to say to him in pri-..."

"If he has something to say to me & he thinks it should be in private, i think he has the right" Cristiano glared at Eduardo before he could complete his sentence. Leo's parents know how overprotective Cristiano is about Leo so they left the room for the couple to talk alone. For the first few minutes they didn't talk, Leo cried his heart out curled up against Cristiano & him hugged him tightly. "Leo have some water, you'll get dehydrated" Cris took the glass of water kept on the nightstand & bought it to Leo's mouth. Leo took small sips & the other one waited patiently for him to finish drinking. "...think you are ready to talk?" Cristiano asked rubbing his back. The water has helped calm Leo's hiccups but his breathing was still ragged.

"Cristianoo...i don't like him touching me..." Lionel said in a broken voice.

"Who? Eduardo? ...yeaa i don't like him either"

"Mum can't see my thighs today"

"Why you keep saying that ?...What have you done ?" Cristiano asked stroking his hair. His voice is gentle yet firm.

Lionel got out of Cristiano's embrace & sat properly "you've to make sure she doesn't see...promise me" Lionel said holding Cristiano's hand.

"Your behaviour today is worrying me" Cristiano said frowning "if you tell me what is it, i may come up with a way to help you" he tried to make Leo tell the truth.

".....i was so depressed & tired...i just wanted to sleep but i couldn't...it seemed like the only choice..." Lionel kept babbling not really listening to what Cristiano is saying.

"What've you done ?" Cristiano panicked, the first thing that came to his mind after hearing Lionel was if he hurt himself again. He pulled down Leo's trousers before Leo could respond but Leo didn't even try to stop him. "What did you do !?" Cristiano barked at him angrily.

"I-i messed with my old scars.." Lionel said shivering. Cristiano was beyond shocked after he opened the bandage & saw dried blood stains in the thick cotton padding inside. Leo wasn't lying, he really did mess with his injuries, & he did it badly. He looked at Leo with a blank expression not really sure what to say. He's feeling so many emotions at once, anger, disappointment, worry, panic, feeling sorry for Leo but he's not sure how he'll express them. The stitch that was meant to mend the old scar cut roughly & the pink flesh that is visible, the small red scribbles around it is having physical effect on Cristiano, he feels nauseous "...but it felt so good" Lionel mumbled in a barely audible voice.

"This can't make anyone feel good, you freak!" Cristiano yelled at him angrily.

"I knew you'd hate me...everyone hates me now...i hate myself too-.." Lionel curled into himself murmuring.

"What is the matter with you ? You think doing this will make all this bearable? Don't be so delusional Lionel, it'll only lead to self-destruction & by the time you realize it, it'll be too late!" Cristiano said gripping his jaw to emphasize himself. Lionel remained silent, all he could do right now is cry but slowly that mechanism was also giving up on him, he's sad but not more tears are rolling down from his eyes, his head is becoming fuzzy & he feels like someone has made him drink too much alcohol & he's not allowed to sleep.

"A-are you going to leave me !?" Lionel asked after a long moment of silence, voice trembling & Cristiano could swear there's nothing more heartbreaking than hearing that crack in the voice of someone who is just going to cry.

"Yes...i can't see you right now" Cristiano could feel his throat straining saying these words because all he wants to do right now is to wrap Leo's shivering little body in a warm blanket then cuddle him & kiss him till he gets better but he also wants to set an example for Leo so he got out of the bed & walked out of the room, using all his will power to ignore Leo's pleas.

\------------------------------

"Is he okay ?" Cristiano asked worriedly as soon as he saw Celia coming out of Lionel's room. The first thing he did after walking out of Leo's room was he told his parents about it & all this time when everyone was busy with Leo he has been crying secretly in the guestroom & thought of all the alternatives how he can help Leo. This is what Cristiano was worried about even though he was sure Leo won't have a relapse after his first time self-harming because now there are four people to look after him, he thought Lionel won't even dare but today Lionel admitted it made him feel good & this is what scares Cristiano the most.

"The new cuts are 3-4 days old. He must have bled a lot after tampering with the stitch, he tapped back the bandage....with the dried blood & no antiseptics he got an infection there" Celia sighed tiredly.

"He's going to be alright, right?"

"Don't know...he cried a lot-..."

"...you don't have to say" of course Cristiano heard Lionel crying & there wasn't a minute he didn't feel like running back to him even though he made Lionel promise that he would never leave him like this but Leo broke his promise too...that he would never self-harm again.

"He regrets it a lot....he feels guilty that he has ruined what you both have, he thinks you'll leave him" Celia hesitated a bit.

"But you know i won't, right ?" Cristiano reassured.

"I know, i trust you"

"How is he doing now?"

"I gave him some sedatives, he's sleeping...Martha is with him. From now on I'll make sure someone stays with him always" Celia told him

"I was wondering well, thinking actually...i think we should talk with a psychiatrist?" Cristiano said scratching his head.

"Yes, i think the same. A friend of mine is a psychiatrist, i'm gonna call her.."

"...not his team psychiatrist?" Cristiano referred to Barca's team psychiatrist.

"No, i don't want to involve his career here, you know he's already-..."

"Yeah...i know" Cristiano cut her off "...so I'm gonna go & check on Leo, i didn't take it well when he told me while i promised him-...ughh I should have been more supportive." Cristiano groaned frustratingly.

"Cristiano you did what any other person would've done" Celia patted him on his shoulder & walked away. Cristiano stared blankly at the closed door for some minutes before finally pushing it open. Even though he is a kind of person who can handle any situation with his chin up, he needs some extra courage to face what's on the side of the door today.

"Hey..." he almost whispered to Martha.

"Hi.." Martha said sitting in the edge of the bed.

"How's he doing ?" Cristiano asked looking at Leo sleeping. He looks so peaceful, innocent & Cristiano has to add the word cute that no one can say about the hell he went through in past few hours.

"...well, you know it. He cried a lot but he's stable now...the sedatives helped" she sighed stroking Leo's hair.

"Can i have some minutes alone with him?".

"Sure...if you face any problems with him, call me" Martha said walking out of the room.

"He's sleeping..." Cristiano rolled his eyes.

"..in case he wakes up" Martha said before leaving. Cristiano sat beside him & carded his fingers through Leo's hair. He could see the dried tears from the close up "...i would never leave you" he murmured placing a kiss on Leo's forehead.

"...why not ? You think I'm a freak" Leo said in a weak muffled voice.

"You know i didn't mean that..anyway why are you even wake ?" Cristiano replied a little surprised.

"Does it even matter ? ....get away from me" Lionel said turning around on his side so that he doesn't have to see Cristiano.

"...is that really what you want ?...anyway you'd be sleeping, you are weak" Cristiano could already hear Leo trying to hold back his sobs so he wrapped an arm around Leo's body & pulled him closer to little spoon him.

"How about i punch you in the face & kick you out of this room-...."

"...& make me regret what i just said?" Cristiano said kissing & nibbling on Leo's neck.

"Seriously Cristiano i don't wanna see you right now, i'm tired..."

"Leo, I'm sorry.." Cristiano said seriously.

"I've heard it before & I'm sure I'll hear it again..." Lionel sighed.

"Who can think straight if they see something like that ? What about your sorrys, your promises ?" He pointed vaguely at Leo's blanket covered legs.

"...i don't blame you, no one will want to be with someone like me"

"For the thousand time...ME!" Cristiano kissed Leo on his cheek from the back & even though he was crying this made him smile. In moments like this when he's alone with Cristiano & all these small gestures from him makes Leo feel loved no matter what he thinks of himself.

"...but nobody knows what the future holds. You are saying this now it might change later" Leo isn't mad at him anymore...their time together is so limited that even if he wants to he can't but as he said the thought striked his mind what if this day really comes ?

"You don't trust me ?" Cristiano said in a deep serious voice. He turned Leo to face him.

"When was the last time we had sex ?" Lionel asked after a minute of silence.

"So now sex is the only thing our relationship is based on ? Thank you Leo, you are really great at insulting me" Cristiano said frowning.

"No just saying...eventually you'll become frustrated and...."

"...and ?"

"...and leave me" Lionel cried ducking his face in Cristiano's chest.

"I'll never do that. All these changes are making you a bit insecure...Leo just trust me" Cristiano said kissing the ring that he gave Leo. "...go to sleep baby"

"..i can't"

"Shh baby, stop crying please...take a nap, you'll feel relaxed"

"I don't want to...see you are ignoring me from now only" Lionel mumbled scratching on Cristiano's chest with his blunt nails.

"If you want to use that as an excuse..." Cristiano chuckled making Leo smile too. "...but isn't all the medicines you got making you feel sleepy?" & the other one nodded a 'no' pouting. "...want to talk about the things that happened today ?" This time Lionel nodded his head for a 'no' as fast as he could "okay okay no pressure" Cris didn't push the matter any further as he didn't want to make Leo sad again "then want to open the gifts i bought you..." he asked suddenly, looking at the gift bags that he left on the study table.

"Yes...what did you bought me ?"

"Just some clothings & personal use products.." Cristiano shrugged getting out of the bed to get the bags. "...ma & Katia gave me some to give to you so i don't really know whats in them" Lionel grabbed all the bags from Cristiano's hand & started emptying them on the bed one by one carelessly.

"All these for me ? I can't even use them..." Leo said holding out the CR7 dress shirt & D&G jacket.

"Of course you can...you can wear them at home-..." Leo cut him off & gave him a look.

"What ? I'm serious you'd dress up & try out new hairstyles & stuffs...feeling beautiful & loving yourself is important plus it'll kill your time & help you lighten your mood...trust me" Cristiano suggested.

"Taunting me ? all i heard is blah blah blah, everyone is not you...ohhh you bought my favorite deo" Leo took the expensive cologne bottle & sprayed a bit on the sleeve of his other hand. "I missed this smell...thank you so much for all these" Lionel thanked him.

"Anything for you babe...open these bags, mama & Katia sent this.." he handed Leo the last two bags & Leo quickly turned them. "..& I'll take this one away" Cristiano took away the razor from Leo's new personal use products & the other one gave him a offended look before continuing with his work.

"Homemade cookies! ...i missed them so much!!" Leo said rubbing his dear cookies against his cheek."& ohh, how cute are these.." he picked up the plush panda slippers.

"Katia & Junior bought it for you after i told them you hurt your leg"

"Did you tell about all this to everyone?"

"Ermm no" Cristiano lied seeing how ashamed Leo looks. Cristiano didn't tell his mother but he did tell about Leo being self-injurious to his sisters & his teammates.

"Can you please not tell them anything?" Leo murmured.

"Ok...we'll see about that later" Cristiano gave him a sad smile.

"Did they ask you anything about me ?"

"Everyone...Geri calls me everyday to know about your health. They are planning about visiting you soon actually...Andres & Luis told me the other day" Cristiano told Leo thinking he'd probably be happy to hear this but the other one gave the opposite reaction.

"Please tell them not to come...i don't want anybody to see me like this..."

"Leo they are your friends!"

"Thats why I'm telling you plus they'll all get stressed because of me & it'll make me very uncomfortable to be around them like this"

"...i understand" Cristiano gave him a little nod but obviously he won't stop his friends if they want to meet Leo.

"What are you looking for?" Lionel asked seeing Cristiano search for something restlessly in the bags munching on one of the cookies.

"Something is missing...i don't remember what is it..." Cristiano said going through the bags.

"...leave it, how many gifts in one visit is reasonable anyway...have a cookie" Lionel said offering him one.

"You've it, ma made 'em for you with lots of love..." Cristiano said biting his bottom lip to stop his laughter. "Oww i remember, I'll be back in a minute" Cris run out of the room without giving Leo any time to react.

"You've to stop running away from me like this!" Leo yelled from back.

"Hey, where's the little pet i bought?" Cristiano huffed standing in middle of the living room.

"He's there behind the stairs. Jorge gave him some lettuce to eat" Celia said pointing her spatula at the stairs.

"Ohh.." Cristiano went behind the stairs to get the baby guinea pig. He smiled looking at the small animal gnawing on the green leaves in its cage. "Hey, lets take you to your new daddy" Cristiano whispered carefully taking out the small animal & put some lettuce in his pocket.

"Cristiano you're supposed to be with Leo" Martha said frowning. She has joined Celia to male dinner.

"I'm going to him only"

"& you've to take that rabbit with you ?"

"Its a guinea pig! & Leo is awake.." Cristiano told them.

"...with all the medicines i gave him?" Celia sounded a bit surprised.

"But i thought he's sleeping..." Martha said equally surprised.

"He faked it..." Cristiano shrugged & walked upstairs holding the baby guinea pig carefully in his hands ignoring Celia & Martha talking about Leo's 'abrupt mood changes'. When he got in the room Leo was yawning & Cristiano wondered if he did the right thing by bringing the little pet here right now.

"...what did you bring ?" Lionel said turning towards him. He must've heard Cristiano getting inside. Though the lights of the room were turned off the room was well light with all the moon light coming in through the big windows. "What ? Why are you smiling?" He asked seeing Cristiano grinning like a fool. "What are you hiding behind your back!?" Leo gave him a playful smile. Cristiano wanted to make him guess but he couldn't wait to see his boyfriend's reaction either so he bought his hand in front to reveal what he was holding.

"Oh my gawwd a rabbit" Lionel said excitedly seeing the small thing staring at him with big puppy eyes.

"Its not a rabbit..." Cristiano pouted sitting on the bed.

"A hamster?" Lionel guessed not noticing Cristiano's pout.

"No Leo, c'mon..." the other one said frustratedly.

"A crossbreed of rabbit & hamster ? ...a rabster!?" Lionel said taking the little animal from Cristiano's hand & nestled it on the blanket that was covering him.

"Fuck you Leo, its a guinea pig!"

"I know..i was just kidding" Lionel laughed while the other one placed the lettuce on the blanket from his pocket grumbling. "Aww you hungry lil monster" Leo said petting the small animal eating its food. "Thank you so much Cristiano, this really means a lot. You've no idea how much i appreciate it" he said genuinely.

"Yeahh i can see it in your face" Cristiano said leaning against the pillow to join Leo to pet the little guinea pig.

"How'd you...i mean a pet ? now ? why ?" Lionel asked not being able to form proper sentence out of happiness.

"Last time you said you feel lonely here so i thought..." Cristiano gave him a sad smile.

"I'm convinced you love me more than my parents" Lionel hugged Cristiano tightly from that awkward position.

"They love you very much bebe, they just can't understand you some times but trust me baby they love you....& thats why they are doing all this" Cristiano whispered in Leo's ear as a drop of tear rolled down from his eyes.

"I don't wanna talk about all this, i told you..." Lionel mewled.

"I won't push you tonight but tomorrow you've to tell me why do did it...again" Cristiano said skimming his fingers as gently as he could on Leo's thighs & Leo nodded sniffling. "Hey...don't cry now" Cristiano cupped Leo's face & made him look into his eyes.

"You are crying too...& i hate it that i'm the reason behind it" Lionel kissed him on his lips.

"...that says how much i love you & never gonna leave you, right?" Cristiano said breaking the kiss, his hand moved to caress Lionel's cheeks while the other one nodded & they kissed again. Their sloppy kiss got broken by the little guinea pig scratching on Leo's hip-bones.

"Oww.." Leo giggled at the tickling sensation. "...you want kisses too ? Here kisses for you" he picked it up & kissed it all over.

"Now I'm jealous of a guinea pig" Cristiano snorted dramatically.

"Pfff you big guinea pig kisses for you too" Lionel touched the little animal with Cristiano's cheeks then peppered some kisses himself.

\------------------------------

Cristiano pulled the blanket till Lionel's shoulder to cover him properly & placed a kiss on his forehead. Convincing him to sleep was tough today & at the same time surprising considering how much Leo loves sleeping but he just didn't want to get Cristiano out of his sight but after almost half an hour of persuasion & promises Leo finally closed his eyes & it didn't take long for him to fall asleep with Cristiano's soft caresses and all those sedatives reacting in his body. Cristiano checked his watch after connecting the IV tubes with his hand, its just 8:00pm pfff. He picked up poochie from where he confined him between the headboard & two pillows while he lulled Leo to sleep, he thought of playing with it for some time. Before Lionel fell asleep after he came up with the name 'poochie' for his new pet.

"Hello poochie, loved your new daddy huhh ?" Cristiano whispered sitting against the headboard & folded his legs so he could nestle little poochie in the gap. "He's very friendly right ? A little sad but friendly" he rubbed the pet's furry head with a finger "...from now on he'll take care of you & feed you lots of green leaves & sweet fruits" * "but in turn you've to do something for him. He's a little sad & sick you see, you've to keep him company all the times, keep him cheered & make sure he doesn't hurt himself...can you do that for me ?" Cristiano said after a pause & the guinea pig made a sharp purring sound like he's ready to follow all the instructions Cristiano gave him. Lionel stirred in his sleep a bit & that was the warning sign for Cristiano. "Lets get you in your box, we don't want to wake him up, okay ?" Cristiano murmured quickly getting out of the bed with poochie in his hand.

"Sorry buddy but you've to stay in this little box till i get a bigger house for you" Cristiano said securing the lock of the cage under the stairs.

"honey do you want me to serve your dinner now ?" Celia asked standing behind him.

"ehh..no, not now" Cristiano replied hesitantly, standing up.

"Is Leo asleep ?"

"yes he is"

"Cristiano he won't be waking up before morning there's no point waiting for him to have dinner" Celia sighed.

"i'm not really hungry right now"

"I don't like what you're doing to yourself. You hurt your collar-bone in the last match..." Celia stated. Even though he doesn't let Leo watch any football matches (for obvious reason) she remains quiet updated herself.

"it was just a knock.." Cristiano shrugged.

"& you seem distracted these days..."

"I'm not..i'm fully focused on my team" Cristiano said frowning.

"have your dinner honey, even if Lionel was awake i doubt he'd eat anything"

"& you'd leave him like that ? didn't you notice how weirdly he behaves if you mention food or how his hands trembling holding the spoon while eating ? he looks at the food like its something disgusting or some scary shit ?" Cristiano accused her.

"i noticed & i promise i'm doing everything i can to help him....i told you we're gonna consult a psychiatrist.." she sighed heart-broken. "now, lets go to the dining room ?" she gave him a sad smile.

"i don't know, keep my dinner in the freezer, i'll have something later, don't wait for me..its not that late anyway" Cristiano said before leaving. He rested his back against the soft mattress with a tired huff. Today has been a tiring day for both Lionel & Cristiano. He turned his face towards Lionel to see his chest rising & falling as he breathed, lips parted a bit, his precious is sleeping peacefully. He rolled on his side so he can face Lionel totally. He kept on staring at Lionel's face for a long moment till his eye lids started getting heavy due to sleep, he smiled a bit when he noticed the other one drooling but too tired to wipe it...he fell asleep listening to the other one's soft snores hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long to update the new chapter, hope you guys enjoyed it though. Let me knowwhat you guys think of this chapter & tank you for leaving all the kudos ^_^ ♥
> 
> www.mrs-messi.tumblr.com


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *FLASHBACK CHAPTER*

*flashback*

When Cristiano entered the cafeteria escorted by Ellen his eyes searched for the little pale body he likes to call his arch rival...or used to call arch rival. Its surprising and kind of scary how his perception about Messi changed in last 1 & a half hour. He is curious about the little Argentine...he wants to know the other one personally, he wants to take their relationship beyond 'just two professional players' but he isn't sure exactly why ? ...are the medicines really doing all this to him or its just 'heart wants what it wants'. Cristiano absentmindedly accepted his food tray from the fat lady on the other side of the counter then scanned the big room. He smiled to himself when his eyes finally spotted Messi sitting in the far corner of the room by the window. The room isn't very quiet with all the patients chatting with their fellows & nurses trying to pursue one or two of them to eat their food. Till today Cristiano didn't really have any friends here, the first day he shared table with a guy, a bit older than him who at first seemed normal but then started talking about how he can see monsters & supernatural creatures since then Cristiano decided he ain't sitting with anyone who talks about ghouls & soul eating witches while having lunch. Cristiano slowly made his way across the room oblivious about Ellen following him behind. He was only halfway across the room when he noticed the frown on the other one's face, staring outside the window & completely lost in his own world. 

"Hola" Cristiano greeted him standing in front of him & Messi looked up at him with same frowned expression. "Can i sit here ?" he asked and the other one nodded with a little smile after staring at him blankly for a moment.

"So you two are gonna sit together?" Ellen asked grinning. Cristiano turned towards her and nodded ignoring her goofy grin. "Very well...I'll be around here somewhere...call me if you two need anything...& Leo eat as much as you can, no funny business" she said glancing at an orderly standing against the wall few meters away from them to make the 'if you don't eat there are other ways to make you' point clear.

"...not really liking it in here ?" Cristiano said to break the awkward silence but the other one didn't reply. Okay this is getting uncomfortable for Cristiano now.

"..you do ?" the other one mumbled suddenly looking down at the plate and playing with the food with plastic fork before putting some spaghetti in mouth. The sudden question caught Cristiano off guard. He himself isn't sure if he likes it in here so he took some seconds before finally replying.

"I'd prefer to be at home right now with my son & go clubbing with friends at night but i guess whats needed to be done has to be done....anyway theres nothing to not like it in here....the staffs are nice, food is good" he said chewing his spaghetti "...the environment is nice & relaxing...theres nothing to hate" Cristiano smiled at the other one whose frown only deepened hearing Cristiano.

"You are so normal why are you here ?"

"Normal..." Cristiano repeated Messi's word laughing "...i guess we all get a little crazy sometimes"

"So you are here voluntarily?" Lionel stopped eating & asked him with wide eyes like can't believe what he is listening.

"I'm here because of my knee...you know-..."

"For that they are keeping you here !?"

"No...no i was having some anger issues to be honest" Cristiano confessed. "Why are you here ?"

"Are you mocking me ?" Lionel said.

"I'll be the last person to make fun of you Messi" Cristiano said frowning this time. Even though they play against eachother he respects the other one a lot & he is sure Messi does the same. Lionel understood he misinterpreted Cristiano by thinking he was mocking him for losing the world cup...like the whole world did.

"I-i'm sorry for your knee...hope you'll get better soon" Lionel stuttered but Cristiano picked up the sincerity in his words. "i'm...-am here umm coz of...depression? ...& please call me Leo" He said like he is not sure of what he is saying himself but Cristiano got the cue & didn't ask him any more questions about this.

"...you wanna hang around in the commons after lunch?" Cristiano asked him but Lionel arched an eyebrow questionably. "The common room ? ...with TV & games"

"They have stuffs like that here ?" Messi asked a bit surprised.

"Yea..yes, we can go there after lunch if you want to...or we can check the floor since it looks like you aren't familiar with it yet..." Cristiano suggested. He can tell his palm is sweating more than ever...did he really just asked Lionel Messi out to give him a psycho ward tour ? What was he thinking?

"So you can loiter around here on your own?" Lionel asked him without replying to his question.

"Not everywhere just some places..." Cristiano gave the other one a little smile before concentrating on his food.

"Hello boys, enjoying your meal?" Miss Carelli asked walking to their table.

"Hi Miss Carelli, the food is nice..." Cristiano smiled at her.

"& you Lionel?" She asked placing her hand on his shoulder. Leo glanced up at her & gave her a shy smile before looking down at his plate immediately.

"I see you both have become best friends already.."

"Not best friends.." they both mumbled.

"Okay i believe you" the nurse said laughing. "What are you both going to do after lunch ? ...you both have lot of free time today" she checked the notes on her clipboard to check if any one of them have any appointment or thepary today.

"I was wondering if we could stroll around a bit.." Cristiano said a bit uncertainly.

"Great idea!" Miss Carelli clapped her hand tucking the clipboard under her arm but the smile vanished almost immediately. "...oh no, Lionel can't go around of his own yet. He has fall risk" she said sadly.

"Ohh...then some other day maybe" Cristiano smiled half heartedly at her.

"...or you both can go for a walk & someone will be with you to look after Leo" she came up with a solution.

"...don't need anyone...'m not crazy" Leo mumbled not looking at them.

"Of course not passerotto! No one thinks like that about you..." the nurse nudged him to move & make space for her to sit on the bench "We are just very worried about you" she hugged Leo which he didn't return. "Finish your food fast then we'll go on our little tour."

However that tour didn't happen since the little Argentine's trepidation & loss of confidence didn't allow his trembling legs to walk in the cold, white linoleum covered corridor with everyone looking at him (according to him) so he is lazing in the common room with Cristiano & 2-3 other inmates. Cristiano wants to make a conversation with him but he isn't sure about what. They spent the evening quietly like that till Ellen encouraged them to play parchis. They had two games in which Lionel lost the first one then won the second so Cristiano demanded for another round but they had to stop since Ruby declared its dinner time. *Who the hell eats dinner at 8:30pm, ughh*. Lionel & Cristiano both found themselves sharing the same table again. This time none of them spoke much except exchanging occasional small shy smiles, their body getting heavy with sleep as they gulped down their dinner. Ellen walked them to their respective rooms about 30 minutes after they finished eating dinner & it seems like Lionel & Cristiano are psychiatric ward neighbours.

"Lights out in 15 minutes. Goodnight boys" Ellen said standing in the corridor. She smilied at Lionel who was lying on his bed in his room then turned towards Cristiano who was standing by the small table in his room on the other side before leaving.

Cristiano was about to get under the blankets that he heard a shy voice calling his name from behind. He turned around to see Messi standing against the door frame of his room across the hall & suddenly it became hard for him to breath. "Good night, Cris'ano" Lionel almost whispered with a barely visible smile but Cristiano didn't miss it.

"Good night, Leo" he smiled back & watched the other one wobble to his bed yawning. Cristiano was about to go to his bed, he noticed the small figure appear again to close the door this time.

"No locks!" Lionel muttered angrily closing the door. Their eyes met again...they smiled then closed the lockless doors. Lionel flopped himself on the bed while Cristiano slumped himself against the door & let out the breath he didn't know he was holding till now. His mother always told him how a someone can take his breath away, make his heart clench in most pleasurable way when he finds the person he'll truly love....shit! he's feeling all that now.

\--------------------------

"Hi." Cristiano turned his face around to see who it was. "I uhh...am sorry if i acted umm..strangely yesterday...it was only because-cause i was nervous" Lionel stuttered nervously, hands folded to his chest.

"You still look nervous" Cristiano remarked making the other one get more fidgety "have a seat" he patted on the chair next to him. Messi reluctantly sat down in the chair beside Cristiano. They are sitting by the balcony that gives nice view of small hills covered by soft green grass & clear blue sky, the bars can be a distraction but obviously a psycho ward can't have balconies without them with people living here who might want to jump off from there. Its 7:30am in the morning & the day has already started in St. Mary's hospital. Theres lot of scattered noises coming from nurses helping other patients take their morning walk within the floor & trying to make conversation with them, others still nagging some patients to wake up because Cristiano can clearly hear Ruby shouting dramatically in one of the rooms but still theres a awkward silence present...between him & Leo. "Beautiful view, isn't it ?" He asked looking at Lionel who was sitting on the chair still like a statute.

"I'm sorry if i disturbed you...i uhhh...think should go now" Lionel said standing up.

"Hey..no, waitt..." Cristiano said hurriedly before the other could walk away. He has never found stammering so cute & he wants to hear more of it.

"You want me to stay ?" Leo looked at him with confused expression that made Cristiano frown.

"Yes, please.." Cristiano nodded.

"Ohh i thought i was umm d-disturbing your peace" Leo said sitting down on the chair again.

"Why would you think that ?"

"You kind of seemed sad" Lionel mumbled "..is everything alright?" He said after a moment of silence.

"I-i am not sad...just enjoying the morning silence" Cristiano said feeling a bit self-conscious.

"Theres still tear in the corner of your eyes...you were crying" Leo stated flatly.

"I wasn't crying...thats how my body reacts when i'm upset...its-its very normal" Cristiano said.

"Ohh..."*"but you are upset..." Lionel paused a bit before finishing his sentence.

"Well yeaa i just miss Junior very much"*"....i kind of yelled in front of him & did some stuff a kid shouldn't see....i didn't get to say him sorry before coming here...things happened so fast. He was scared of me...i saw it in his eyes you know...."

"Cristiano, i can understand what you are feeling right now but its going to be fine" Lionel whispered placing a hand on his shoulder as the other one cried hiding his face behind his hands.

"...i treated them all so badly but ma has always been supportive..Katia, Elma they all have been" Cristiano's words got muffled because of his hands. "Every day i call home he begs me to come back & i just feel more guilty..."*"i don't wanna make the same mistake like my father" he said more to himself.

"You'll never do anything to hurt the feelings of your family member & trust me your family has already forgiven you for whatever you've done but most importantly you realize where you went wrong & you regret it which means you'll try everything to not make the same mistake again....every mistake is a lesson Cristiano, don't be so hard on yourself" Leo patted him on his shoulder twice before retrieving his hand back.

"Woah....& they forced you here for depression?" Cristiano said after rubbing his face with his hands then blinked away the last drop of tear not really believing he heard these words from someone who seemed like is almost going to faint because of anxiety few minutes ago.

"They forced me here because i tried to kill myself" Leo replied laughing a bit, scratching his elfish ear. He pulled up the sleeves of his hospital robe along with the sleeve of his sweatshirt to reveal the white bandage on his wrist. Cristiano looked at him shocked, eyes wide & lips parted, not sure how to react to this. "...yeahh, tell me more about disappointing family members" Leo pulled down his sleeve & stared outside at the hills.

"Why you did it ?" Cristiano asked after a moment of silence. "You don't have to say if you are uncomfortable with it" he added.

"...i don't know. All the pressure was getting too much & i couldn't cope up...i wanted a way out i guess...wanted to skip the moment...umm-..."

"I get you" Cristiano said seeing how difficult it was getting for the other to put his words together but he is glad Leo opened up to him though the things he just said is quite disturbing, Cristiano hopes the doctors will fix him soon.

"...but you don't tell this to anybody, okay ?" Lionel looked at him with red glassy eyes & pouty lips. He probably didn't sleep well for weeks Cristiano thinks seeing the dark circles around Leo's eye.

"Are you going to do this again?"

"Hmm..? I...i don't know...l uhh-..."

"Both of you are here! ..i've been looking out for you" Ruby said pointing at Leo. "I'm so happy you are socializing but don't wonder off alone. You've fall risk" she sighed. "This is not a restriction darling & you probably think you can do your stuffs by yourself but still...let us keep you under observation for few days? & i promise doctors don't keep that band for more than 5 days" she tried to make him understand. "Why are you both sitting with such gloomy faces right in the morning ?" The nurse tried not to let the stress of night shift effect her work right now.

"I went to the nurse station but nurse El-umm.." Lionel spoke softly.

"Ellen ?" Ruby said the name seeing the hesitation in Leo's face.

"Yes. She wasn't there & i couldn't see the nice lady either so i was just looking for them but then i saw him and i had to tell him-..."

"Okay okay calm down, i got it" Ruby said laughing as Leo tried to explain himself. "Ellen & 'the nice lady's' shift got over thats why you couldn't find 'em now both of you take your medicines and follow me to the cafeteria for breakfast...c'mon now" she held out the tray "the right one is for you Cristiano & the left one is Lionel's" Cristiano took the small plastic cup from the tray and the glass of water and took his meds like a mature person but things aren't so easy for Leo "Lionel your turn..."*"please...". Lionel probably pitied her tired face & accepted his meds with trembling hands. He then opened his mouth to show her he really swallowed his medicines "Thank you!" the nurse smilied at him then turned at Cristiano.

"What ? I'm not gonna spit them out & anyway you're a hand shorter than me" & Ruby nust smiled shaking her head hearing Cristiano's cocky reply. She left the tray on a small side table before accompanying them both to the canteen.

"Cristiano are you alright?" She asked seeing Cristiano walk awkwardly.

"Yeaah" he tried to sound confident.

"You don't look alright honey" Ruby said. She is walking in the middle with both her arms hooked around one of Cristiano & Leo's.

"I'm fine really..."

"Oh-kay then" Ruby said not very convinced. "I assume you both are going to sit together.."

"Yes"

"No!" Lionel replied hurriedly making Cristiano look at him arching his eye brows questionably. "I uhh...didn't mean it like that...sorry if it came out rude. You sure you wanna sit with me ?" Leo asked feeling a bit uncomfortable, his hands are shaking badly & his palms are sweating...he kind of feels nauseous & a bit scared about the fact he might embarrass himself in front of his rival.

"I don't have a problem if you don't have a problem" Cristiano asked.

"Very well then take your food quickly & get settled" Ruby said nudging them to go faster towards the cafe counter.

"Can i eat few minutes later?" Leo mumbled shifting uncomfortably on the chair.

"No honey you've to attend group therapy & art therapy" Ruby said working on the notes on her clipboard.

"Leo if you're feeling uhh...uncomfortable bb-cuzz of me...i can sit somewhere else & i don't mind honestly" Cristiano tried to say without sounding awkward.

"No no...please don't leave i uhh...oh my god this is so weird" Leo said the last part more to himself rubbing his face desperately & mentally kicking himself for making the situation more awkward. "...its nothing" he smiled at Cristiano, with cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Lionel, what made you so jittery ?" Ruby asked him placing a hand on his shoulder with a concerned expression.

"Nothing...god this is so embarrassing" Lionel folded his hands the table and ducked his face between them.

"Okay don't tell me if it makes you that uncomfortable but at least-...."

"Noh! We don't talk about this anymore..." Lionel whined cutting her off.

Leo is feeling sick & he thinks he might throw up if he eats right now but he can't say because then everyone around will think he probably has some eating disorder & he is just trying to skip his meal. He may seem oblivious, distrait & all to people but he isn't dumb. Leo has seen in movies how if anyone get fussy about food in his situation are suspected of having eating disorder & the last thing he wants is to get 'stigmatized' like that so guess he just have to control himself.

"Leo ? Are you alright ?" Cristiano asked him poking his hand a little since the other one looked a bit lost.

"Yes i'm fine" he smiled shyly & a bit unsure before forcing the first spoon on mac n' cheese in his mouth.

"Lionel you don't really look fine, please tell me if something is wrong because my shift will get over after breakfast" Ruby told him tucking her clipboard under her arm & hunching forward resting her hands on the table "...& same for you Cristiano. You don't look very good either" she turned towards Cristiano.

"You'll be gone ?" Lionel asked in shaky voice stuffing more cheesy pasta in his mouth absent-mindedly.

"...that means Ellen will be back?" Cristiano asked her.

"No...she did extra shifts in last two days, she'll be back tomorrow morning but I'll pass her the message that someone is missing her very much" she said grinning. "...Miss Carelli will be back before lunch time though and you both will be busy with your own routines...group therapy starts at 9:30 which...."

Leo can't concentrate on what Ruby is saying anymore as her and Cristiano's voices became blur in the background, the feeling of claustrophobia took over Leo's mind. Clenching jaw, pursing lips, swallowing hard...he is trying everything to keep his bile from coming up but the stupid voices in his head...the screaming, flashlights, people dragging & shoving, invading his personal space & pressing up against him...is he really sitting here for real or this is just a dream ? He needs some physical contact with his surrounding to make it feel real again....ughh so much pressure is unfair, its unfair all these nightmare come crashing in his mind right in the morning when he isn't even asleep...he can feel someone touching him, calling his name...a warm hand trying to pull him out from the deep pit of thoughts..finally!

"Leo ?" Cristiano called him again this squeezing his hand a bit harder.

"Lionel? Are you with us ?" Ruby did the same worriedly. Leo looked at her with blank expression, face covered with a thin layer of sweat. "Can you hear me ?" She patted lightly on his cheek flashing light on his eyes with a small flashlight. The sudden flash of light ended his self control as his body purged out the little amount of food he could eat.

Leo bit his bottom lip & tried to hold back his tears looking down. Two three more nurse and orderlies were standing around them in seconds.

"Its alright Lionel, theres nothing to be upset about it" Ruby quickly grabbed some tissues & handed them to Leo "C'mon lets go to the bathroom" she tried to comfort him helping him stand up then guided him to the bathroom, two more orderlies followed them.

"Cristiano please come with me.." another nurse tried to move him away from there. Cristiano is too shocked to give a reaction...okay not too shocked but what he witnessed like a minute ago is heartbreaking, he never thought he'd see his arch rival in this state. Even though Leo told him he tried to kill himself Cristiano never thought things are so bad for the little Argentinean, he thought it was an impulsive decision & Leo'll get back to his normal self eventually. If he was in Leo's place he'd feel so humiliated & he is sure the other one feels the same way.

"Is he alright?" Cristiano asked in a shaky voice as he sat in another table.

"He is going to be fine" Judith the red head nurse gave him a reassuring smile.

"Did i do something wrong?" He asked staring vaguely at the closed washroom door.

"Noo...of course not! Why would you think that...in fact i think he enjoys your company...you are the only person he talks with, you are his only friend here" she gave him a warm reassuring smile. Cristiano looked around the room, it has turned into a chaos. The staffs are trying to calm other inmates who were looking at Cristiano & murmuring among themselves. "...I'll bring you another plate" the young nurse said placing her hand on his shoulder but Cristiano's mind is too busy thinking about his nemesis to give a response. The door of the bathroom opened with a click, Ruby came out first with her arm hooked around Lionel's bicep who was a step behind her & two orderlies.

"Lionel..hey ?" Cristiano called his name from where he was sitting but the other one just walked out of the room as fast as he could, crying like a hurt puppy head bowed down.

"Someone please call the doctor on duty" Ruby said to someone, she turned to Cristiano & gave him an apologetic look before leaving the room.

"Give him some time to calm down..." Judith whispered to Cristiano rubbing his back because obviously what happened to Leo has effected him too "...I'll get another plate of mac n' cheese for you" she said again.

"No...not now. I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable, i want to rest" Cristiano told her & she gave him an understanding nod.

"This will go into your record..." she added after a moment of silence but Cristiano just shrugged walking off.

The day got more uncomfortable with every passing hour. Cristiano didn't see him in the group therapy so he asked Ruby who extended her shift because of Leo, why Leo wasn't there. He knew it was a stupid question right now but he asked anyway because he was worried. Ruby told him Leo is too emotionally unstable to make any kind of interaction with anyone. Cristiano didn't attend his art therapy session & nobody forced him since he seemed quite vexed, he'd his lunch in his room but attended his physiotherapy session after nurse Carelli had a chat with him, the evening he spent lazing around in the common room hoping Leo will come but he didn't. He looked towards the closed door of Leo's room, an orderly standing by the door smiled at him but he sighed and walked inside his room.

\--------------------

Next morning when Cristiano couldn't find Leo at breakfast he was a bit 'heart-broken' as he was really looking forward to hearing the little Argentine's voice again. He literally wanted to hug his rival tight when he saw him sitting in the group therapy room alone waiting for the others to come...well, Leo wasn't entirely alone Ellen was with him who smiled when she saw Cristiano standing by the door. Its 9:20, Doctor Smith will be here any minute so the place is filling up.

"Hi.." Cristiano said slapping Leo's head lightly from the back. Even though it was the gentlest slap a person can give to someone Lionel turned his head with an annoyed expression but it changed immediately seeing Cristiano & he gave him a nervous smile.

"Hello.."

"I'm sorry about yesterday, are you alright?" He asked Lionel who nodded uncomfortably at the mention of yesterday. Cristiano noticed the red scratches on Leo's cheek but decided not to make any comment about it. Meanwhile Doctor Smith entered the room & everyone greeted him except Lionel & Cristiano.

"I'm not alright...will you please sit beside me ?" Leo said quickly, breathing hitched a bit as he noticed the doctor. "No, sit in front of me.." he grabbed Cristiano's t-shirt & pushed him forward a bit harder than he intended causing the other one to lose his balance a bit.

"What the hell?" Cristiano turned around to look at Leo taking his chair. Leo gave him an apologetic look covering his mouth with his hand but its obvious he was smiling behind the hand & it made Cristiano incredibly happy. The chairs were arranged like a school classroom with small desk in front of every chair, Leo was sitting in the last row corner seat & Cristiano in front of him so he can hide himself behind Cristiano's tall body.

"Sit straight & don't move" Leo whispered poking Cristiano back.

"Dr. Smith is a very nice person, you've nothing to be scared of.." Cris whispered back trying hard to stifle his laughter after seeing Leo sitting with his head lowered to hide himself behind him.

"Turn around!..don't draw attention to yourself...& btw how does this work ? What can i expect here !?..& -..."

"We'll welcome a new member today, I'm sure you all have met him already..." Dr. Smith officially started the session after some personal chat with some patients.

"No we haven't, he's asocial" a guy shouted & soon there were voices telling him to 'shut up' & 'stop scaring him'. The word certainly hit Leo but he also heard someone say 'shut up! I wanna meet him' it doesn't matter if they want to meet him because he is 'Messi' but its flattering.

"Thank you for sharing your observation with us Marco but guys since its his first day with you lot i beg please be nice to him...lets welcome Lionel Messi." Dr. Smith announced & looked for him in the small crowd "Lionel, where are you ?" He called again. Even though his eyes spotted Leo when he entered the room he wanted Leo to come out of his own. Everyone looked at eachother then turned around to face Cristiano. There were more number of chairs than needed to the last two rows were empty except Cristiano & Lionel sitting in the corner seats of each row. The stare was getting uncomfortable so Cristiano simply leaned to his right whistling, revealing Leo sitting with his head bowed down.

"...now you've to stand up & introduce yourself" Cristiano whispered grinning smugly.

"Go on Leo..." Ellen encouraged him from where she was standing against the wall. Everyone in the room can see him now & is waiting for him to respond. Leo slowly stood up, gnawing his bottom lip. 

"Hel-hello everybody" he mumbled looking at everyone then eyes fixed on the floor.

"...you aren't feeling anxious or sick are you ?" Cristiano asked him. It sounded more like a joke but still Cristiano wanted to be sure because who knows....

Lionel groaned indignantly at that. "No Cristiano but i can't promise anything"

"Okay Lionel would you like to share something about yourself so we know you better" the young doctor said laughing a bit.

"What do you want to know ?" Leo asked balling his hands into fists.

"Say your name, age...basic stuffs like an introduction"

"My name is Leo...i-i am 26...i.." he started shifting uncomfrotably. "I....i..." Leo looked up at everyone with glassy eyes after a minute of silence. He is out of words...he doesn't know what to say anymore.

"Anything more...like your parents...siblings...hobby" Dr. Smith tried to encourage him more options.

"Don't pressure him Dr. Smith or he'll puke...oh my god he looks like he's going to" the boy who called him 'asocial' earlier spoke again & this time two of his friends laughed. Cristiano looked at Lionel who was biting his lips hard, blinking away tears before they can fall, he wants to punch that mother fucking Marco. Lionel deserves better! Cristiano noticed the annoyance on Ellen's face because of Marco's comments too.

"What did i tell you about showing other inmates respect? & its very rude to laugh at someone Joan & Milo...he is just nervous, you all had your first days..c'mon you people" the doctor sighed. "

"Yeaaa his anxiety is making me want to throw up" Marco laughed again mimicking the act of vomiting.

"Enough Marco!" Cristiano stood up banging the desk with his hand & everyone looked at him shocked, even Dr. Smith.

"Cristiano!" Ellen warned him from back but when he turned to face her she looked more worried than threatening.

"Cristiano calm down..." the doctor tried too.

"I uhh just wanted to clarify that the incident that happened during breakfast yesterday was my fault actually" Cristiano started taking a deep breath. "We were eating together.." he gestured at him & Leo who was looking at him with a confused expression "..& i told him a really funny joke which made him choke on his food...it really isn't what it seemed like. It was very stupid of me to share a joke while eating...I'm so sorry Leo" he apologized to Lionel as the smaller body kept staring at him baffled.

"Well, i think that explains everything.." Dr. Smith said clapping his hand. "But anyway making fun of someone is cruel.." He was told about the incident & he is impressed with how Cristiano defended Lionel.

"He is your rival why are you defending him ?"

"Wow Marco...rival ? Everyone is friend here" 

"Okay mate do you wanna get punched or what ?" Cristiano said furrowing his brows.

"C'mon Cristiano no threatening.." the doctor tried to calm them both.

"Yeah Marco stop being a jerk!" A man with grey hair said.

"Can you spend a day without being a total ass ?" Someone from the front said. "..& don't listen to him Lionel that was the best two line introduction I've ever heard"

"I think you are cute Lionel" a boy of his age said which made Leo blush even though it's coming from a boy. He feels much better & relaxed now...all thanks to Cristiano.

"Thank you ?" Leo mumbled "c-can i sit now ?"

"Yes Lionel you can sit down" Dr. Smith said with a smile & Lionel dropped himself on the chair immediately, a flood of relief washing over his body.

"Thank you so much" Leo whispered, Cristiano turned around and gave him his toothy smile.

"This session will end in 15 mins" Cristiano said glancing at the wall clock "are you free or do you have any other sessions planned?"

"Ellen told me we'll discuss my interests after this to see what other classes i can attend"

"Classes...jeez Leo" he laughed making the other one pout "how about a literature class after this ? ...if that interests you"

"Are you going to be there ?" Leo asked frowning a bit.

"Of course I'm going to be there or else why would i ask ?" Cristiano rolled his eyes affectionately. "Are you scared of *being alone*" he grinned making the other one laugh nodding his head.

"You...are so different than what people say" Leo said leaning back against the backrest of the chair.

"...people say" Cristiano repeated the words...it was his turn to shake his head. Dr. Smith dismissed the session after 10 minutes probably & soon they were surrounded by the other inmates. They asked him questions without giving much about themselves except their name, the guy who called him cute asked him if he's free in the evening for coffee but Leo politely said some other day. Cristiano & Lionel had 30 minutes before their 'literature class' would start but after all that socializing with other inmates they'd only 10 minutes in their hand so they directly went to the room where Oscar Wilde & classic novels are discussed. The room is literally a small library & a middle aged woman sits in the center with her old table, a stack of book on it & a study lamp. She is a nice lady like rest of the staff...she was impressed when Leo told her about his view on modern speech pattern, so was Cristiano who agreed with him. The group decided they'll do something different today & Mrs. Ricoletti who has mastered in english literature as well as psychology suggested about 'writing a letter to family' & everyone agreed on it.

"It is easier to express yourself on a piece of paper sometimes than saying it verbally because it gives you more time to think" she said as she distributed pages & an envelope to everyone.This time Cristiano sat beside Leo because the chairs were arranged in a circle, Ellen too grabbed a book and sat on the chair in the corner of the room. She is here because Leo still wears the fall risk band & someone has to be with him always while he's walking & also because he had a bad day yesterday. "You can write whatever you want to say...something that you want to say but couldn't say..it can be anything. After you finish writing put the paper in the envelope & write the address where you want it delivered at the back. I've glue, you all can seal the envelope & hand it to me I'll take them to the post office"*"...& yeah no one will read your letter so really write what your heart says" she reassured everyone.

30 minutes have passed by & the paper in front of Leo is blank. He wants to tell his parents so many things, he thought of all that in last half an hour but he couldn't bring himself to write because the thinking alone was exhausting so he just wrote :

'Mum, i know what i did was wrong, i'm sorry. Let me come home please. I miss you'

He sniffled as he kept the pen aside.

"Are you okay ?" Cristiano asked him arching an eyebrow then without thinking he looked on Leo's letter. He didn't mean to read anyone's personal letter but Leo has finished it in one n' a half line, it wasn't hard for his eyes to catch the words. "Hey..its gonna be alright, please don't be sad"

"I'm not sad...just got a bit emotional" Lionel said rubbing his eyes with one hand & folding the page with another. He wrote the address on the envelope & waited for others to complete their writing.

Cristiano isn't sure how he'll comfort Leo after reading his two lined letter but he thinks Leo has cried enough for one day. "Do you wanna do something fun after this?"

"I'm scared of *being alone*...i follow wherever you go" Lionel gave him a sad smile & they were the first to leave the room. Cristiano finished his letter shortly after but kept it with himself after sealing it but Leo handed his to Mrs. Ricoletti & then they ran out of the room. They dashed down the corridor as Ellen yelled about Leo's 'fall risk' from the back but they both ignored her & all others who told them to stop. None of them is sure about what caused this sudden rush of happiness but it feels so good. They kept running around the huge floor cluelessly, finally stopped when they came to the stairs because running down to another floor would be too much & thats when 4-5 orderlies grabbed them both but Lionel & Cristiano burst into laughing. The orderlies bought them to the nurse station where Miss Carelli & Ellen gave them both an earful.

"I'm not counting this as an attempt to run away or calling the doctor or...or putting you both in quiet room because so far both of you have been in your best behaviour but if this happens again...." She kept rambling on while both of them stood bowing their head like they really feel guilty about what the did, both biting bottom lips to stop their giggles. "...what is so funny about this? You both will stay in your room & under watchful eyes...this should never happen again!"

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry..." they both mumbled not meaning it a bit before two orderly escorted them both to their room.

"Can you believe it ? I haven't seen them this happy since...I've been seeing them!" Ellen said after they left.

"...& Lionel ? The state he was in even yesterday i never thought i'd see him this happy" Miss Carelli said smiling "it would be a shame if a player like him would lose himself in the dark....& Cristiano too. Its incredible & unbelievable how they're so happy when they are around eachother despite their rivalry"

"You all have no idea what Cristiano did for Lionel in the group session...." Ellen started telling everyone the story.

Cristiano & Lionel walked between two orderlies, giggling & whispering to themselves. "Do you wanna have more fun ?" Cristiano whispered in Leo's ear, keeping his voice as low as possible making sure the orderlies don't hear him & the other one grinned. "Stay awake tonight" he said before the orderlies separated them and took them to their respective rooms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Continuation of ch- 16  
> I wrote this chapter on my phone so the autocorrect has probably made some words incorrect [sorry about that] 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -TRIGGER WARNING : a lots & lots & lots of angst. please read the tag before continuing.

"Cristiano please don't leave me.." Lionel cried.

"Leo i'll be back as soon as i can...i've to join training session tomorrow, i know you understand me...please don't do this to yourself" Cristiano tried to make him understand. 

He hates this part...knowing that he can spend only 1 or 2 days with his Leo before they get separated for another week or two, he hates this! This time even more because Leo kind of didn't take it well when Cristiano told him he'll leaving today. Lionel was sleepless pretty much all night so Cristiano had to stay awake too, trying to reassure him, to convince him to sleep but most importantly to make sure he doesn't feel lonely & ignored. Leo had little sleep in the early morning but night terrors woke him up. Cristiano tried to comfort him but Leo's reality is as scary as a nightmare right now & it doesn't matter what Cristiano tells him he's losing himself.

"I'm important too...you can't do this to me!" Leo wanted to yell but his words came out shaky & weak. Jorge shaked his head disapprovingly at the same time he pitied his son & left the room. Celia, Martha & Eduardo just stood in the quietly because Cristiano yelled at them just few minutes ago because he didn't like the way Eduardo talked with Lionel.

"Of course Leo you're the most important person in my life but i've signed a contract with the club-....you're my priority, i swear"

"Then fucking act like it!" Leo pulled Cristiano's t-shirt dementedly.

"That is not a way to talk with anyone" Celia said firmly. "You cause enough problems here everyday with throwing & breaking things have the minimum courtesy to be grateful to the person who is always defending you-...& no Cristiano please don't defend him now" Cristiano was about to protest but she stopped him before he could start.

"See ? They hate me...they don't want me anymore" Leo hugged Cristiano as tight as he could & cried ducking his face in his chest. Cristiano can understand Leo is guilty for everything he's getting blamed for from the way he's crying, he understands he's angry, sad, depressed & lonely here while he shouldn't be feeling all these negative emotions & he doesn't deserves to be shamed this way.

"This isn't what he needs right now! Which part of this is his fault !?" Cristiano said wrapping his hands around Leo's lean body protectively.

"Cris'ano..take me with you" Leo whimpered pathetically.

"I cannot do that. I'll always keep supporting you Leo but whatever your mother said we can't deny it either-..."

"No you cannot take their side...y-you cannot! y-you are mine..." Leo tried to push Cristiano by his shirt but he ended up moving a step back for all the force he used. "...you're the only thing that's mine now...they can't take you away.." he kept babbling.

"Leo i didn't mean what i just said" Celia tried to calm him.

"Leo you need to think rationally..." Cristiano said in a low voice taking a step closer to Leo. He isn't sure why he's getting this apprehensive feeling of something bad is going to happen.

"You're mine Cristiano..." Leo cried, his voice feeble & pathetic. He took a step further back, his head feels heavy again, his vision getting blurry, he can't stay focused on the present anymore but still he kept fighting or else *they'll take away his Cristiano* he kept telling himself. He placed his hand on the dining table to keep himself straight. Things are getting too overwhelming for him & he just wishes he could skip this moment. His eyes fell on the knife block on the table. He took a knife & stunned everyone by stabbing it on his own hand.

"LEO NOOO!" Cristiano reacted quickly & caught his hand in a iron tight grip before Leo could hurt himself any more. "Leo, drop it! ...drop it i said!" He squeezed Leo's wrist even harder so that Leo drops it. Celia was shell shocked by the incident & Martha covered her mouth with her hand to keep herself from crying out. Leo struggled till his body gave up completely & everything around him went black....the knife fell on the floor with a sharp clink as he collided against Cristiano.

\-------

Leo blinked as consciousness kicked in, he groaned weakly, his head feels like its been hammered a hundred times. Eyes still closed, he tried to recall what happened....he was in the living room, begging Cristiano not to leave...ughh! even his semi conscious brain is cursing him...he sighed deeply then tried to turn over & thats when he felt the sharp pain on his hand.

"Shittt...!" Lionel finally opened his eyes hissing more from remembering what he did after that than because of the pain. "...ohh god" he grunted covering his face with his other hand which wasn't hurt. *How could he do that in front of Cristiano !? He has probably freaked his boyfriend & he isn't coming back...EVER!* Leo mentally kicked himself. He'll call Cristiano, blame everything his treacherous emotions & try to do some damage control. Tears welled up in Leo's eyes just from thinking about all these.

"...feeling sad again ?" Cristiano said noticing Leo's restlessness. Leo was quick turning his head, all these time he thought he's alone....the lights were turned off & its already night outside so its hard to make out someone's presence just from the little amount of moonlight that was entering the room through the windows....or is it all the medicines he's getting is really blunting his senses Leo is not sure. He smiled at Cristiano as he leaned down to kiss Lionel on his forehead.

"I don't know what got into me...i didn't mean to do any of that" Leo's smile vanished almost immediately as he sobbed pressing his face against Cristiano's thigh.

"Leo i need you to calm down & listen to me" he murmured stroking Leo's hair but the other one just wrapped his arm around Cristiano's thigh & cried like a petulant child. "...listen, look at me" he rubbed Leo's nape soothingly.

"Y-you stayed...thank you...but i didn't do th-..." Leo finally looked up with a tear stained face & guilty expression. He gripped on Cristiano's shirt & tried to pull himself up.

"I know baby"*"..don't move, you'll hurt your hand, let me help you" Cristiano helped Leo sit up properly & placed a pillow between Leo's back & the headboard but Leo snuggled against his boyfriend.

"When i woke up just few minutes ago & tried to recall everything that happened...I-I swear Cristiano i didn't do it with the intention of-..."

"I know Leo. I-..." Cristiano cut him off. He doesn't want Leo to keep blame himself, he'll only feel more guilty.

"Please don't judge me...yes, i felt a bit angry on you that time but i also understand your commitments to your team....but i just feel a lot safer when you're with me. You-you may think i'm a wimp to acting like this-..."

"I stayed because you'd a nervous breakdown alright...i'm not judging you. Its okay to feel this way, its okay for you to cry...but it is not okay to hurt yourself. Don't let your emotions get better of you" Cristiano wrapped his hand around Leo's torso.

"I can't...please stop saying this..."

"Yes you can"

"No i can't"

"Yes you can! I'll help you"

"No! Everytime i make promises...&-& things go out of my hands & i break them without meaning to...how many times will you keep saying the same to me !? How many times will you keep coming back !? ...you've a family too, you've Crisi & its not fair that i take up all his time with you-..." Leo cried.

"Heyy okay okay...calm down alright" Cristiano tried to calm him. He doesn't want Leo to have another breakdown. "YOU ARE FAMILY Leo & Crisi is your son too. Everyday he speaks of you & i don't have a proper answer & i know this whole situation is so fucked up & honestly even i feel confused sometimes & wonder how things came to this but only you can make it right....jus-just try harder, you'll always have our support" he murmured.

"I'll try harder...i will" Lionel sniffled as he tried to sit up straight, he felt a pull on his IV syringe & yelped in pain. "No i can't Cristiano...i can't" Leo curled up against Cristiano again.

"Come here..." Cristiano pulled him closer to his body & rocked him slowly "you've to baby...you have to. If not for me for football..."

"Shh-..its over for me.."

"No Leo....never! If that was the case they wouldn't have said you'll be back...the club have invested millions on your...your sponsors still believe in you, you've insurance worth millions-..."

"Its only because what they know is a lie...". Cristiano sighed defeatedly. He knows Leo has gone to the point where he can't help him alone but still he will not give up on him...on their love. NEVER. "They still don't know the truth right ?" Leo asked.

"Tell me why were you feeling angry on me ?" Cristiano tried to change the topic.

"...it was nothing" Leo shrugged.

"C'mon Leo tell me, i deserve to know." He does deserve because he did felt a little hurt when Lionel said he was angry on him.

"I wasn't really angry..i uhh was feeling jealous!?...mixed with a little bit of anger !? but anyway it wasn't your fault.." Leo mewled.

"Why? ...i mean there has to be a reason...like i did something ?...said something you didn't like?"

"Noo...its just...i asked you not to go but you didn't listen to me...it felt like i'm not important to you anymore & i know it is not true but still..." Leo added "..&..& you can go back to your team...see your teammates, train n' play & it made me feel a bit jealous"*"i know its not fair that i feel jealous about this but i swear it was situational"

"Ohh meu coração its alright..." Cristiano tried to comfort his boyfriend who looks so ashamed of himself.

"...no its not alright!" Leo cried.

"...its because you feel safer when i'm around. Its human nature to act like this when their 'comfort stuff' is taken away" Cristiano rubbed his cold scrawny body & placed a kiss on his forehead while Leo remained silent. "...but will you please keep a promise for me ? ...i know its hard but please try to keep yourself calm when i leave tomorrow. You get sad everytime i leave & it just makes me feel awful."

"Why am i not wearing any shirt ? ...please don't tell me you guys checked my again while i passed out" Leo said after remaining silent for few more moments. The way Leo's voice trembled Cristiano can understand he dreads this part.

"No, your t-shirt got stained so i took it off & couldn't get you into anything comfortable...i wasn't sure since you were unconscious, didn't want to hurt your hand" Cristiano told him honestly & Leo just replied with a 'ohh'. "You didn't answer me..."

"I will try only if you keep my request..." Leo turned on Cristiano's lap so they're face to face. Leo unexpectedly started kissing him, one of his hand went around Cristiano neck ignoring all the pain & tugged on Cristiano's hair while his other hand made its way down in his pant.

"..-ummp Leo you'll hurt your han-.."

"..-shh" Leo deepened their kiss shushing his boyfriend. Cristiano groaned when Leo stroked his member.

"...the door is not locked" Cristiano said finally breaking the kiss & caught Leo's hand in a tight grip to stop him from moving his hand in his pant. His body is reacting to the touch already as none of the both had any sex for months.

"...Cristiano please, i want this...don't deny me" Leo whined but his tone was somehow demanding.

"I don't think it's be a good idea.." Cristiano breathed heavily while Lionel glared at him warningly. "...we don't have anything...no lube, nothin' plus the lock has been removed. There are four other people in the house...at least let me take that off for you" Cristiano shifted a bit uncomfortably with his boyfriend's hand still in his pant & unplugged Leo's IV kit.

"Lets go in the bathroom...i'll make it worth your while" Leo ran his tongue up Cristiano's neck seductively.

"..t-the bathroom lock has been removed too"

"You guys don't trust me at all...i'm hurt" Leo said in a fake 'oh i'm so hurt voice'. "How about we take this to the attic upstairs" he stroked Cristiano cock again.

"...fuck Leo! Someone may come in" Cristiano cursed but Leo just gave him a cheeky grin. "I'm sorry i ain't having sex in a dark, spooky attic.

"Uhhuhh it has a bed...its a bedroom" Leo tells him. He has been there once or twice to kill his time when things weren't as bad as it is right now but Cristiano has never been there.

"Alright...I'll some oil or moisturizer from the bathroom. Take your hands out my pant!" Leo retrieved his hand grinning as Cristiano walked to the bathroom. His mood lightened seeing Leo smile but though his body is excited his brain is saying otherwise. "I got the coconut oil-.." Cristiano announced walking in. If he had any doubt about having sex with Leo its all gone now as he stood in the middle of the room looking at Leo's naked body.

"Like what you see ?" Leo asked seductively.

"You'll be the death of me" Cristiano muttered under his breath as he covered Leo the blanket & picked him up. "We've to be very quiet & quick about this" he whispered walking out of the door cautiously. "I cannot believe i'm even doing this" he complained walking upstairs. Cristiano was impressed with the small attic room, it was well decorated with minimal furniture, it has a big sea facing window, the room is warm & cozy like rest of the house. He carefully placed Leo on the bed, Leo hooked his arm around Cristiano's neck & started kissing him hungrily. Cristiano too wrapped an arm around Leo's body & other hand unbuttoning his shirt while Leo struggled with his jeans. Leo pushed Cristiano back desperately till he was standing again & he got on his knees on the floor. He pulled down Cristiano's boxers & didn't wasted a second before taking his hard erection in his mouth. "...fuck Leo! ..you've no idea how much i missed this baby" He breathed heavily. All this time he missed Leo's lips stretched around his cock, his warm mouth so much that he couldn't stop himself from pushing his hip. Leo is so used to deep throating Cristiano's cock but still he proceeded slowly, teasing Cristiano with small kitten licks. Cristiano groaned frustratingly, grabbing a fistful of Leo's hair & took control. "..i-if things get too much for you t-tell me, k ?" He panted pushing into Leo's mouth as fast as he could while Leo tried to say something but his words got muffled. He gave Cristiano a thumbs up so he supposed everything is fine & continued moving his hip. Cristiano groaned as every time Leo moved his mouth up n' down, he looked down at Lionel's naked body with lustful eyes. His bones are all visible but Cristiano doesn't care, completely lost in physical pleasure.

"...Cris'ano i need you inside me" Lionel finally pulled back, panting.

"Y-yes baby..." Cristiano manhandled him & pushed him on the bed. Leo fell on the soft mattress with a huff, Cristiano parted his legs & situated himself in between without wasting any time.

\------------

"Fuck Leo!!" Cristiano inhaled deeply "are you okay ?" He turned towards Leo who has curled up against him already.

"Um-humm" Leo hummed breathlessly. Bruises & bite marks are already becoming prominent on his fair skin. At first Cristiano was unsure about having sex with Leo but once they started there was marking eachother, name calling, at one point Cristiano had to press his hand against Leo's lips to keep him from screaming. It was like their sex starvation was finally satisfied.

"Baby we can't fall asleep here like this right now...we gotta clean up this mess" Cristiano pointed at the damp area of the bedsheet. "We have to clean ourselves too" he guided Leo to sit up but he just whined scrunching up his face

"..oh my god everyone is gonna know we'd sex here...look at all these bruises" he rubbed his hand soothingly on Leo's the purple marks on Leo's wrists.

"We're adults okay, its not that people don't know about all these" Leo grumbled covering himself with the blanket. Cristiano pulled out the bed sheet from where it was tucked under the mattress, rolled it into a big ball & handed it to Leo. He carried back Leo to his room this time more because he was sore. They left the sheet cum covered sheet under the shower & both of them stepped into the tub. Leo shrieked a bit when his scars touched the water. Cristiano didn't want to make it uncomfortable for Leo so he just placed his hand on his shoulder & ushering him to step out of the tub.

"I'll clean you" Cristiano said with a sad smile as he grabbed some wipes from the bathroom counter. Lionel stood in the middle of the bathroom looking down at the white marble flooring, ashamed of himself while Cristiano cleaned him.

Both of them stared at the ceiling lying on their back on the bed. While the other one doesn't care about anything happening around him at this point Cristiano's mind is racing with thoughts. He has never been the kind of person who'd give up, he saw all the marks on Leo's body when they were having sex. Cristiano didn't make any remark about them that time since he didn't want to upset him but he loves Leo's body too much to see any more of those heartbreaking scars on him.

"Baby, you awake ?" Cristiano broke the silence.

"Yeaa.." Leo said groggily snuggling closer to Cristiano.

"I don't like the scars on your body" Cristiano said out of nowhere because he wasn't sure how to start this conversation. He didn't want to freak Leo out but he just had to tell him.

"Ohh..." Lionel didn't say anything more, just shifted to the other side of the bed uncomfortably, pulling up the blanket to cover his body, feeling self conscious. "Oh.."

"Where are you going ?" Cristiano got hold of his lanky bicep & pulled him closer again "i said i don't like the scars, i didn't say i don't like you"

"They are a part of me now....& i understand if it make you feel uncomfortable" Leo shrugged it off with a smile like his words didn't hurt him.

"Will you talk to a psychiatrist, please ?" Leo frowned at that "...for me !? I know things are very hard for you here & i can understand it is very frustrating for you to live here away from your friends & the club"*"..if things don't get better, we'll look for another alternative. We'll go to Madrid-..."

"Why do you want me to talk to a psychiatrist if you don't think i'm crazy ?" Leo mumbled cutting of Cristiano.

"Because I love you & it hurts me to see you hurting like this. I want you to get well soon & come back, i miss you on the scoring sheets too. The goal scoring competition has become so one sided" Cristiano ended with a small sad smile.

"You've Luis & Ney to beat..." Lionel replied vaguely.

"They're not as good as you" he stroked Leo's hair. "...you're upset, you've lot of things to say & you can't tell us because clearly you're angry on us. We were discussing about this for a while-"

"So all this was pre-planned ?"

"Oh for fucks sake Leo! You know what you're doing to yourself is not right & we really want to help you. Stop twisting every word!"

"I can't alright !?" Leo sat up so did Cristiano "i can't because i'm not getting back on the field & i can feel it in my body" Leo broke into tears "So stop giving me any hope!"

"YOU WILL COME BACK! ...FOR ME, FOR THE FANS, FOR THE CLUB, FOR THE GAME!" Cristiano placed his hands on Leo's shoulder & looked straight into his eyes.

"Cris'ano please don't do this to me" Leo said in a shaky voice "look at me, i'm here for more than 3 months now, do you see any improvements in my health condition ?" Cristiano remained silent after hearing him.

"Then this is going to be my last season too..." he said suddenly hugging Leo. "We'll start things all over again together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO I'M BACK! sorry for the delay ;__;  
> sometimes i feel like to stop this story so let me know what you guys think of this chapter
> 
> www.mrs_messi.tumblr.com


	20. Chapter 20

*flashback*

"Leo ????" Cristiano nudged Leo for the third time "Leo!"

"Huhh ?" Leo literally jumped out of the bed with a gasp but Cristiano pressed his hand on his mouth.

"Shh its me Cristiano" he said to Leo.

"What are you doing here ?" Leo asked, blinking in the dark...is he dreaming ?

"Didn't i ask you stay awake ?" Cristiano frowned.

"You meant it ?"

"Yes idiot...now follow me..."

"Why ? Where ?" Lionel asked with a confused expression.

"Just come..." Leo can't see his face in the dark but he's sure the other one is grinning. They both peeked out of the room to check if anyone is there "c'mon..." they carefully closed the door behind them & tiptoed across the dimly lit corridor. Theres pin drop silence in the floor, everyone is sleeping but they both know there are nurses present in the nurse station. Both ends of the corridor are completely dark which makes it look like a horror movie scene....at least thats how it is for Leo.

"Cristiano we shouldn't be here" Lionel told him stopping in the middle of the corridor "let go back before someone notices we are not in our room"

"...No one'll find-...ju-just come with me alright" Cristiano kept walking without turning at Lionel. He thought for a moment before taking few quick long steps to catch up with Cristiano because theres no way he's staying in this dark creepy corridor at this hour of the night.

"Are we trying to runaway ?" Leo whispered secretly praying that they don't get caught as Cristiano opened a door.

"What !? Are you crazy ?" Cristiano asked him incredulously.

"You're the one who's acting crazy here..." Leo murmured more to himself as he walked up the dimly lit stairs. Why does everything becomes spine-chilling after midnight? Lionel wants to pinch Cristiano to make sure if he's real just to make sure he isn't dreaming or sleep walking "will you please tell me where we are going?"

"...somewhere you'll like" Cristiano said "...we're going to the bell tower" he explained after seeing the confused expression on Leo's face.

"What if we get caught ?....t-theres a bell tower here ? & Why is this floor so...so creepy ?" Leo pointed his hand at the long dark corridor.

"Someone comes to check on us at 3:15am so we've time & yes theres a bell tower, you didn't know ? ...& ohh, this floor is for people who are criminally insane so don't get too curios about its inmates" Cristiano said seeing Leo taken a curious step in the ward but he literally jumped back behind Cristiano with stoned face.

"So they are like murderers and psychopaths ?"

"...well, Ellen told me...she didn't give me any details to i guess sort of, lets get out of here" Cristiano just shrugged walking upstairs & Lionel followed quickly "...by the way i didn't know you get scared so easily" he grinned smugly.

"I...I don't! I'm a very practical person!" Lionel stuttered.

"Yeaa sure, keep your voice down." Leo frowned not getting into any further argument.

"What are you doing ? ...is that a hair pin ?" Leo asked incredulously seeing Cristiano put a hairpin in the lock of the door.

"...borrowed from Ruby ? & you think it can open the door"

"...but she didn't notice" Cristiano grinned when he successfully unlocked the door with just a hair pin! "Tadaa..."

"...how !?" Leo said honestly surprised.

"I don't know...lets go, just one floor" Cristiano replied with a goofy grin.

They stood in front of an old wooden door & this floor isn't as modern & well decorated as rest of the building, in fact the steps of the stairs are worn out & the paint on the wall is scrapped. Cristiano opened the old iron latch & there they were.

"wow...it really is a bell tower" Leo gasped as he stepped in first then Cristiano behind him. He folded his hands on his chest instinctively when the cold air hit his body "i had no idea.." Leo laughed "the view is nice...so calm & quiet"*"this is really your first time here ?" He asked Cristiano a bit amused.

"No i came here yesterday.." Cristiano said with a smile.

"...& ?"

"the day before yesterday" he poked out his tongue.

"You're coming here for two days & you didn't tell me ?" Leo said accusingly like they're home friends.

"...it started before that to be honest. I get bored at night so i wander around, then Ruby told me about this old bell tower &...i got curious. The day before yesterday i tried to come here but that door was locked then i bo-..."

"...borrowed a hairpin from Ruby" Leo completed the sentence for Cristiano while he grinned "you're always this adventurous?"

"...i'm always enjoying life" Cristiano nodded.

Leo suddenly feels envious of Cristiano...not in a negative way, he just wishes he was as flexible & easy-going as Cristiano. They're two best footballers in the world, they both have talent & money, they've both worked hard for it....Lionel just wishes he was as confident as his rival outside the football field. He looked down placing his hands on the edge boundary walls. "You aren't thinking about jumping off from here are you ?" Cristiano said with a serious expression as he waited for the other to reply but Leo seemed lost in his own world "i think we should go now..." Cristiano tried to guide him away from the edge but Leo batted his hands away with a firm 'No'.

"I won't do anything like that alright ? & I won't get you into any trouble...."*"i was just seeing how high is this place ?"

"Why ?"

"Just curious!"

"This is a four storey building but this tower is a floor above & i think this one is higher than normal floor so we're in standing in fifth & half floor okay..." Cristiano sighed. "I asking you to be careful because i don't want you to hurt yourself alright not because of all the trouble you'll cause me if you...you know...jump off" he said honestly.

"I-I won't...you can trust me" Lionel blushed hearing him. Cristiano basically said he cares about him....him, Lionel Messi & Cristiano Ronaldo said that! Ronaldo said it of all people. "Do you want to sit there ?" Cristiano nodded.

"Its not that i don't trust what you say but ahh-...." Cristiano said to Leo as he walked across the small space, he didn't notice the old copper bell in the dark & hit himself against it. The rusted heavy bell didn't ring but the crash did created a clunking sound.

"shit!" Leo quickly guided him away from bell & they sat on the bench "are you okay !?" Cristiano nodded placing his hand on his forehead "move your hand, i need to see if you're bleeding" Cristiano moved his hand for Leo & Leo had to touch his forehead in order to make sure he isn't bleeding in this dark place "nah...the place has swelled up very badly" Lionel said.

"You think i don't know !?"

"...you tall people" Leo said to himself shaking his head, Cristiano wanted to say something smart...maybe make fun of the little Argentine's height but instead he just sat there with a pout "you need a ice pack....c'mon lets go" he got up.

"Hey...no" Cristiano got Leo's wrist without thinking "i'm alright & if you don't have any problem...can we stay here a bit longer ?"

Lionel stilled for a moment. Not even his closest friends have ever got hold of his hands like this...not Gerard...not Kun...or Neymar. He looked down where there hands were connected but he couldn't clearly see because of the darkness but then he looked up at Cristiano & nodded with a soft smile. Cristiano retrieved his hand as fast as he possible thinking what the fuck he just did while Leo took his seat beside him once again.

\----------

"Why do both if you look so sleepy ? Its just lunch time..." Ellen asked Leo & Cristiano who made their way to the cafeteria with sleepy eyes, shoulder slouched down.

"I'm sleepy..." Leo said sluggishly yawning.

"I can see that....thats what i asked" Ellen rolled her eyes affectionately "...& you Cristiano ? Is your head okay ?" She asked & Cris nodded. "For the last time, how did this happen ?"

"I told you i fell from the bed" Cristiano snorted, feeling embarrassed about the excuse he had to use to cover up for his last night's mess "& that's why i'm sleepy....because i fell from the bed & couldn't sleep after that...it was hurting a lot okay?" Lionel couldn't hold back his laughter hearing Cristiano's answer. "Is there something funny about it ?" Cristiano asked with a frown.

"No...nothing" Leo bit his bottom lip.

"Leo its rude to laugh at your friend..." Ellen tutted.

"...'m sorry" Leo grumbled under his breath.

\----------

"Have you noticed something weird about Leo & Cristiano ?" Ellen whispered to Marilyn Carelli standing by the door of the common room.

"Yes both of them seem a bit disoriented since last two-three days" she replied looking at Leo & Cris playing chess with sleepy eyes "i'll inform the doctor...maybe its their medicines..."

"But both of them together? Plus both take different medicines" Ellen said a bit suspiciously.

"You're right....we should keep our eyes on them" the senior nurse said after a moment of silence.

\-----------

Ruby walked Leo to the shower room next morning. She & Judy literally had to fight him to get him out of the bed this morning. He & Cristiano are going to the bell tower for three days & they didn't get caught yet, this fact is only making them feel more adventurous & exhilarating. Every night they would spend a little longer in the bell tower watching stars in the clear sky, the moon would shine on them as they enjoy the quiet atmosphere....but spending the night awake sneaking out together to watch stars like some teenage secret lovers only makes it harder for them to carry out their normal routines in the morning. They make up for it though by sleeping in the afternoon....or a ten minutes nap during group therapy sessions.

Leo's grumbled walking into the shower area, even though all the rooms has an attached bathroom bathroom they've to come in the common shower area for shaving while a nurse watch over them. His face brightened up immediately seeing Cristiano was there too.

"...wow you're shaving, i thought you wax your face" Leo said sarcastically.

"Is my face that shiny ?" Cristiano grinned with white foam covering half of his face.

"Cristiano don't laugh with that sharp razor so close to your face!" Judy said who was standing by him & Cristiano made faces at her in reply.

"Lionel why don't you let me help you get shaved ?" Ruby said as he opened Leo's locker to get his toiletries.

"How can you help me do something which you haven't done yourself?" Leo narrowed his eyes.

"Hey i help many patients everyday!" Ruby replied dramatically "promise you'll use it carefully?" She sighed.

"I won't do anything of what you're thinking..." Leo said after a moment of silence "unless i accidentally slit my cheeks. The foam is slippery you know..."

"Lionel!" She slapped his lower back a little harder than she intended making him lose his balance a bit but Leo just laughed it off & walked to the basins.

Leo squeezed some shaving foam in his hand standing beside Cristiano. Cristiano couldn't help but notice the red angry scratches on his cheeks & neck on the mirror. He shifted awkwardly a bit seeing Cristiano staring at him like that.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"...yes" Leo replied uncomfortably. 

'You don't look alright' Cristiano wanted to say but he dropped it. He thought his yin to the yang is getting better but clearly he is not okay & Cristiano feels like a failure.

"...i had to tell you both something" Ruby broke the awkward silence "we're go on a little field trip this saturday"

"Field trip ?" Cristiano arched an eyebrow questionably & Leo turned towards her with little amount of foam on his chin.

"Yeaa...just a small trip in the near by village....we go there twice every month" she explained "if you guys wanna go..."

"I want to go!" Cristiano said enthusiastically before she could even complete her sentence. He just wants to step out of the building & enjoy the fresh air.

"Me too..." Leo replied but he didn't sound as excited as Cristiano. He too is sick of staying confined within the four walls where the temperature is controlled by air conditioners 24x7, he is sick of the white linoleum & his stupid therapist who force him talk every second day! ....the only thing good about this place is he can hide here from rest of the world, no press or his parents, he doesn't need to worry about being answerable to anyone plus Cristiano here makes his days a lot better....& he isn't sure if the nurses here are just doing their job or they really care about him, he'd likes them a lot too.

"...you've to get the consent form signed by one of your parents or guardian. You can get the consent forms from the nurse station" Ruby finished.

"What ? ...a consent letter !? i'm a grown ass man!" Cristiano said a little louder than he intended.

"Me too!" Leo repeated after Cristiano "...i didn't even get my parents sign my school letters..." All the three people in the room looked at him questionably. "I used to forge dad's signature on my school letters..." Leo poked his tongue out "but that is not important here now, i can't ask 'em to sign consent form for me. I'm 27, i can make my own decisions."

"Honey i'm sorry its a rule here" 

"& you shouldn't feel embarrassed to ask your parents. They love you" Judy said. Leo wanted to laugh but instead he just stayed silent so was Cristiano.

"This friday is family visit day....both of your families will be coming....make sure you get the sign" Ruby sighed. Lionel's heart skipped a beat. He doesn't want to deal with his parents again or see the disappointment in their face. "Are you both done now ?"

"I..uhh...forgot my to get my aftershave from the locker" Leo stuttered.

"You can use mine if you want to..." Cristiano offered.

"t-thanx"*"are you really gonna gel your hair!?" Leo gave an expression like he actually can't believe that Cristiano squeezed out some generous amount of hair gel on his hand.

"I haven't gelled my hair for so long" Cristiano grinned.

"What's the point? You're in a psychiatric ward....plus you probably won't believe me but you look a lot better with hair gel" Leo regretted his words immediately...*what the fuck? why would he care if Cristiano gels his hair or not...its none of his business*

"Alright if you say so..." Cristiano washed his hand & dried in on a towel. Ruby & Judy exchanged looks but said nothing & thankfully none of them noticed either. "lets go then..." Lionel nodded & walked out of the shower area before anyone else, cheeks flushed up with embarrassment.

\---------

"Are you really alright, Leo ?" Cristiano asked out of nowhere sitting on the bench made of brick in the bell tower staring at the full moon.

"..y-yes" Leo forced out. He took a moment to process his answer to Cristiano's sudden question. Even though they spent the whole day together they didn't talk much like other days. Both were grumpy & somewhat lost in their own thoughts the whole day after Ruby told them about family visit.

"You don't look alright" Cristiano placed his hand on Leo's which was rested on the bench on his side.

"You don't either..." Leo replied in a shaky voice "Cristiano why are you here ?" He asked after a minute of silence, staring at the moon with glassy eyes even though Cristiano has told him earlier but he wants to hear it again just to make sure he's not the only person who is sad here. People would scream 'pecho frio' at him if they could read his mind right now but Leo wants to hear Cristiano again & share his pain....doesn't want another person feel what he feels.

"I...ughh...mum said she didn't want me"

"Didn't want you ? She told you that ?" Leo asked a bit confused. He has seen Cristiano'd mother with him on ballon d'Or ceremonies & they seem very close.

"Noo she didn't say it to me...she said it on her book" Cristiano's voice cracked up "she published this book where she said she wanted an abortion when she was pregnant...i-i just came back from Brazil...i was sad about the team getting eliminated & my injury...all the criticism & then this...it was too much"*"i mean why wouldn't she tell me about this before ? Its not that i'd have left her alone or something-..."

"But you are angry on her..."

"Oh no no...I'm not angry on her, i was angry at that moment but i didn't tell her. She asked me though but i said it was her decision & shrugged off...but i felt betrayed...it felt like maybe i'm here because -because you know...'you gotta child, you gotta raise him out of social obligation'. All these things played in my mind repeatedly....& ughh this sucks!"

*"I told her 'get out' while nino was there....but i didn't mean it...i just wanted to be alone that time so i asked her to leave...s-she was going to market anyway" he said frustratedly & Leo thought he's going to cry but instead Cristiano looked at him "now your story..."

"I told you why i'm here..." Leo looked down on his lap.

"No, in details"*"...if you're comfortable with it" Cristiano added after a pause.

"Well...it happened four days after i returned from Brazil....all that pressure was just...it just felt suffocating. I really wanted the cup" Leo sigh "...then i did what i did. They said i had a mental breakdown"

"Leo i can understand your pain but...you've no idea how happy i'm that you're here right now" Cristiano squeezed Leo's hand lightly.

"...you're happy i'm in a nut house" Lionel frowned.

"No, i mean *you're here right now, physically safe*" Cristiano laughed even though he's sad.

"Sometimes i just wonder if i'm going without an incident here because of all those medicines they give me is just manipulating my mind & when i step out of here things will be same" Leo turned to the other side too ashamed to make eye contact with anyone "...i don't want to see mum n' dad" he said more to himself.

"Why ?" Cristiano placed a hand on his shoulder supportively.

"...don't wanna see the disappointment in their face. They hate me..." Leo said in a shaky voice.

"They don't hate you-..."

"My dad said i'm selfish & ungrateful..."

"That is not true! & i'm sure he didn't mean it either. He was worried and...probably confused at the moment" Cristiano tried to make him feel better "you're a great person Lionel"

"No, i'm not...i don't even know who i'm anymore" Leo sniffled "its-...everytime i look in the mirror i don't see Leo the person, i see Messi the player...the way people want me to see & i hate myself" he paused for a moment before turning towards Cristiano & wrapping both his arms around his muscular body "i'm sorry that you've to go through all these too." Cristiano absolutely didn't expect his arch rival cry against his chest like this so he took a moment to process what just happened.

"Its alright...you're alright" Cristiano cooed returning the hug "& you're not going to hurt yourself again. You can talk with when you feel like that...we're friends now & i'll be more than happy if you let me help." They sat there like that for about twenty minutes till the of returning to their room came to Cristiano's mind. "Leo, do you think-..." he nudged Lionel, when the other one didn't respond he looked down to find the small body softly snoring, resting his head on his chest. Cristiano smiled at the sight then very carefully & gently stroked Leo's hair. "Leo ?" Cristiano called him again after 10 minutes, when he realized they should be back in their room by now he was just too busy staring at Leo's sleepy face. He got Leo situated properly against his hand this time before calling "Leo wake up, we've to go!"

"...mmm" Leo frowned in his sleep.

"Wake up little shit!" Cristiano literally shook him this time. Leo looked up at him groggily rubbing his eyes "you fell asleep!" Cristiano said awkwardly before the other one could ask any question about inappropriate physical proximity.

"Ohh.." Leo just said but Cristiano could see the red shade on his face even in this dark...though its not as dark as the other nights, the moon is shining bright on them today.

"We've to go now, its getting late"

"Yes, lets go" Lionel said half heartedly, he wanted to stay a little longer.

Cristiano closed the steel door carefully after they got down the stairs, now they just need to turn right, cross the corridor & sneak back into their rooms like they do every night.

"We'll come again tomorrow" Leo said with a shy smile.

"Of course we will..." Cristiano grinned as they turned right &....fuck! they came face to face with an orderly.

"What are you both doing here at this hour !?" the man in his 40's asked, alarmed.

"We..umm...ehh...were going to the nurse station ?" Cristiano blurted out, feeling embarrassed about how his words came out while Lionel stood there with still face like a witch touched him with her wand & turned him into a statue.

"Why ? ...nurse station is not this way" the orderly sounded more like an old, strict school principal.

"..uh he said he was having stomach ache...." Cristiano pointed at Leo after a moment of silence.

"...he was sleep walking" Leo said at the same time. Cristiano wanted to strangle him but he just facepalmed.

"He got runners...3rd floor corridor, fire exit side-..." the orderly said on his walkie talkie.

"Hey no no no...we're not trying to run away!" Cristiano tried to convince him.

"We're not..." Leo mumbled after him, heart racing with panic.

Within seconds they were surrounded by two more orderly, Cristiano huffed defeatedly when he saw Ellen & Miss Carelli come running at them with a security guard.

"LIONEL! CRISTIANO! YOU BOTH TRIED TO RUN AWAY ? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING !? DO YOU KNOW HOW STUPID-...." Miss Carelli kept ranting while Cristiano tried to make her understand.

"We weren't trying to run away or anything like that...& others are sleeping so please keep it down..."

"Yeaa we weren't trying to run away...believe us"

"Will you stop repeating my every sentence !?" Cristiano looked down at Leo with an annoyed expression.

"We're in the same situation...obviously what you've got to say i gotta say the same" Lionel replied jutting out his bottom lip. Cristiano wants to laugh & hit him on the head at the same time.

"IT WAS LIONEL, WASN'T IT !?"

"It wasn't me..." Leo mewled.

"Stop scaring him! ...we weren't gonna run away" Cristiano said frowning, a bit irritated.

"Alright come with us...i want to hear your explanation" Ellen said & ushered them to the nurse station "...now go ahead...explain"

"We were just loitering....because we couldn't sleep" Cristiano said vaguely sitting in a chair in the nurse station while Leo sat in another one beside him with a panic stricken face.

"Both of you together ?"

"Yes..together.." Cristiano said jutting out his bottom lip. Both of them had made a deal, in case they are caught they will not tell anything about the bell tower.

"So you guys aren't gonna tell us the truth...okay" Miss Carelli sighed "i just want to tell you, you both have gotten yourselves into some serious problem & we've to put you both into seclusion room"

"What ? Nooo..." Cristiano objected in a whiny tone.

"The doctor on duty will be here anytime now" Ellen informed them.

"Till then you both of you...in the seclusion room..."

"...for fucks sake!" Cristiano muttered under his breath throwing up his hands in the air.

\--------

"Lionel didn't tell me anything either" the young doctor sighed walking out of the small room where Leo spending his detention time "but we all know they're lying so we must make 'em confess"

"...i don't think they were running away" Ellen said.

"Still we need to know...for their own safety"*"i'll try Cristiano again..." he huffed tiredly as he unlocked the door with his card & walked in "alright Cristiano, Lionel told us everything now we need you to speak.."

"I told you-..."

"No no, the truth...Leo isn't very hard to break" Ellen said standing against the door frame. Cristiano pursed his lips sitting on the mattress on the floor, after a moment of double thinking he finally gave in.

"Yes, we went to the bell tower & today isn't the first day...we're going there for four days now so you see ? we weren't running away or something." Ellen & Miss Carelli exchanged looks after hearing Cristiano.

"For four days !?" the doctor gasped.

"Didn't Leo tell you....oh my god! I can't believe you guys played me" Cristiano said in disbelief when he realized they lied to him.

"...& you aren't lying about this ?"

"No!"

"How did you both go there ? ...for four days without us knowing !?" Miss Carelli asked.

"We were just walking around & came across a door, it was unlocked so we went in....& it was the bell tower" Cristiano shrugged "now will you guys please let me be alone? I don't wanna talk..."

"I'm giving you a pill, it'll help you sleep. We'll talk about this tomorrow" the young doctor said after a moment of silence before leaving. Cristiano rested his head against the padded wall with an huff.

"Are you angry on us ?" Miss Carelli walked in.

"You guys lied to me.." 

"You & Lionel lied to us too." Cristiano glanced up at her with a pout. "I understand you both wanted some adventure" she sat down beside him & he is grateful for it. Despite his 185cm height & well build body he feels small & helpless in this small, white, furnitureless room. "But Cristiano you've to understand its unsafe for both of you."

Ellen walked in with a tray in her hand "Cristiano take your medicine?" She sounded more like pleading than forcing him to do it.

"Medication? huhh...i don't need that, you're forcing me to take it" Cristiano miffed but accepted the pill & a glass of water from Ellen anyway.

"Take a good nap & everything is gonna be fine in the morning" she replied with a sad smile.

"Can i see Leo ? ...i won't take much time"

"Tomorrow i promise..." Ellen said before both the nurses left & the door locked with a beep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should've started the flasback chapters a lot earlier (now i've to shorten up their cute encounters) ;__;  
> & i didn't get time to reread this chapter & theres probably gonna be lots of typos & other mistakes which i'll edit later.  
> let me know what you guys think about this chapter, its always nice to hear from you guys ^_^♥
> 
> tumblr : www.mrs-messi.tumblr.com


	21. Chapter 21

"Cristiano, are you alright ?" Sergio asked Cristiano who was busy with his phone standing in front of his locker.

"Uh-yes i'm fine" Cristiano said putting his phone in his pocket & waving at Sergio dismissively.

"You look tired & a bit disoriented...is everything alright?"

"Yes Sese i told you, i'm fine really"

"Is everything okay with Leo ?" Sergio knows it has to be Leo or else his team mate would not be so tensed all the time. They're are really close so Cristiano told him the truth about Leo's sickness to him & his guess was right Cristiano stood there pursing his lips unsure of what to say "i know its very hard for you both right now but you've to be calm to deal with this situation. I'm sure the doctors are doing their best. They have already given a time-frame-..."

"I can't wait anymore...i-i can't see him suffering like this, things aren't getting any better...only worse" Cristiano couldn't control his emotions anymore. Thankfully the dressing room was almost empty except 4-5 other players, the captain glanced at them & they left the room quickly with an understanding nod except Marcelo "Leo's mum messaged me just now to tell me they'd to pass a ng tube through his nose to feed him"

"That sounds...really scary" Marcelo said feeling sorry for Leo.

"But Cris..." Sergio paused not really sure of what to say "you've to take care of yourself too...you've to be strong for Leo, for your team-.."

"We're are the liga leader, i'm the top goal scorer, no ?..so ?" Cristiano said with a frown.

"I didn't mean it like that...i just...you look upset all the time & we're concerned"

"I told you i'm fine...if you don't believe what i say i can't do much to make you believe" Cristiano closed his locker & grabbed his bag from the bench.

"Come to my house tonight for party ?" Marcelo said.

"No man...it just doesn't feel right" Cristiano said with a deep sigh.

"Cris, Leo would have asked you to go" Sergio tried but Cristiano shaked his head dismissively "alright let me call him then.." Sese took out his phone & searched for Leo's number in his contacts ignoring Cristiano's protests.

"Nobody is gonna pick up. Leo's phone isn't with him" Cristiano said with an annoyed expression while Sergio told him to shut up by placing a finger on his lips & walking a few steps away from him "c'mon man he can't take any calls right now"

"Hello uh Leo- ?" Sergio said when somebody picked up the phone but he realized its not Messi's voice "umm can i please talk with Leo ?" He stuttered a bit & Cristiano facepalmed with Marcelo wrapped his hands around him.

"..may i know who this is?" the voice of a woman spoke from the other side.

"I uh-um Sergio...Ramos...from Real Madrid"

"Ok..i'm taking the phone to him...to see if he can talk right now because he's a bit sick right now" the voice said a bit hesitantly.

"Are you his mother?" Sergio could hear her walking.

"yes...is everything alright? Is it about Cristiano?"

"No everything is fine & Cristiano is here...i just need to talk with Leo"

"Okay..." Sergio could hear her calling Leo's name & after a moment Leo finally replied.

"H-hello"

"Leo ? Hi i'm Sergio...Ramos..hope you're doing-..." Sergio said scratching his hair, shocked how weak Leo sounded 

"What happened? d-did something happen to Cristiano?" Leo asked desperately even though his words came out weak & broken.

"No no Cristiano is fine & he is here with me" he could hear Leo sigh in relief "i called you because we wanna know if its okay to take Cristiano to a party with us tonight"

"..y-yes he can go"

"Can you please say it again ?" Sergio put the phone on loud speaker so that Cristiano can hear.

"...Cristiano can go" Lionel struggled with breathing since there was a ng tube up his nose. Breathing through his mouth took more energy so it only made him more tired.

"See Leo wants you to go"

"Gimme the phone" Cristiano snatched the phone from Sergio "Leo? Leo are you okay ? Why didn't you talk with me for last two days huh ? Do you know how worried i was...what the fuck Leo !?" Cristiano said hysterically, almost on verge of crying suddenly as he walked to the shower area. There was a long pause after that, Cristiano could hear Leo's slow, deep breathing.

"I'm sorry, you'd to worry so much because of me-..."

"No you listen! Your mum has told me everything that has happened in last few days. If you tell me you're angry on us i totally get you but whats the point of making yourself go through so much suffering?"

"Cris you are stressing too much..."*"you should go-...with your friends to the party" Leo coughed a bit "you don't need to take my permission for that"

"Are you ignoring me ?"

" 'm not Cristiano" tears rolled down from the corner of his eyes.

"But you're acting like you are...you sound like you aren't even interested in talking with me right now" Cristiano grabbed his bag & stormed out of the dressing room.

"Hey its my phone!" Sergio yelled from the back but Cristiano was too busy in conversation with Leo that he didn't even hear.

"I'm not ignoring you Cristiano p-please believe me" Lionel bit his bottom lip to hold back his sobs. He closed his eyes & inhaled deeply. Cristiano is right Leo really intentionally didn't talk with Cristiano in last few days, Leo didn't want to burden him with more problems, he knew a player like Cristiano has problems of his own, even though Cristiano never said anything to him but it seemed unfair to put so much pressure on Cristiano so he limited their time for talking "...i just want you to have a normal life"

"I am having a normal life"

"Then why do your friend has to call me to tell you to go to party ? I-I know you're suffering" Leo pressed a hand against his mouth.

"Leo ?" Cristiano said after a moment of silence "i know you're crying"*"baby please don't" he got inside in his car. There was no one in the parking lot & it was quite dark.

"I didn't want this to happen Cristiano...i'm so sorry"

"I know baby...its okay, shh" Cristiano rested his forehead on the steering wheel as a drop of tear rolled down his cheek without his permission.

"I'm so sorry..." Leo kept crying & struggling to breathe. Cristiano feels so helpless right now, he can't help his boyfriend neither he can stop controlling his own emotions...this is so rare. Thankfully he heard someone coming in Leo's room & after few seconds Martha replied.

"Hi Martha, will you please-...tell him everything is going to be alright" Cristiano told her wiping the fresh drop of tear that has accumulated in his eyes.

"Of course honey"

'Gimme the phone' he heard Leo whine.

"Cris'ano ?" Leo said in a ragged voice.

"I'm here Leo...always here for you"

"I want you to go to the party with Sergio"

"Okay i will" Cristiano laughed a little even though he's sad.

" 'm hanging up k..."

"Ignoring me..."

"Cris'ano no...'m having trouble breathing"

"Oh okay take some rest...we'll talk again soon, in fact i'll be coming tomorrow. Can you give the phone to Martha...love you"

"K...love you" Leo replied before handing the phone to Martha.

\------

"What did he say ?" Leo asked Martha.

"He told me to take good care of you" Martha replied with a sad smile.

"Can i have the phone for some more minutes ?"

"Umm-..."

"I want to talk with my friends" Leo mumbled rubbing his tired eyes.

"Aren't you having trouble breathing?" Leo thought for a moment before saying 'no'.

"Okay but don't get me into trouble" Martha handed him the phone. Leo scrolled down his contacts till he got Pique's number.

"Leo !?" Pique replied as soon as he could.

"Hi.."

"Leo...woa- how are you? I called you so many times but your mum said you didn't want to talk with anyone...?"

"Yea...i uh-..."

"Well, leave it...tell me how are you? We're so worried" Gerard cut him off.

" 'm okay.."

"Why do you sound like this?"

"..um they put some tubes & stuffs through my nose"

"Tubes & stuffs? Why?" Gerard's smile dropped.

"i'm not sure.."*"how are you guys ?" Leo asked running a hand through his hair which have now become dry & tangled due to lack of care & nourishment.

"Not fine without you..." Gerard whined which made Leo laugh.

"Stop being so dramatic Geri"

"I mean it, Neymar is so heart broken that you aren't here & Luis is sad that you're here to give him assists" Gerard sighed dramatically.

"How's the team doing ? Cristiano said we're second..."

"Yes, just one point difference" Pique sighed.

"...but we've to win"

"We will...you'll be back in the second leg of the liga, score brilliant goals & make us win!" Gerard said confidently " -hello?" He repeated when he got no answer from Leo.

"Yeaa Geri...i've to go now i'll call you some other day"

"But we just started talking" Gerard frowned.

"I don't feel very well, bye...best of luck for next matches" Leo tried his best to keep his voice neutral while all he wants is to cry right now & before Gerard could reply he disconnected.

"Leo are you alright ?" Martha asked him & he nodded sniffling "don't be sad" she stroked Lionel's hair soothingly "you can always share your worries with me..." Leo nodded again, this time with a smile even though tears are rolling down his cheek.

\------

"Tell me about your dreams" Leo's psychiatrist asked him but he remained silent like always "Leo if you don't talk with me i can't help you" she sighed tiredly. Leo is seeing her for three weeks now but never talked with her even once in these three sessions "you look worse than i saw you last time...what happened?"*"come on Leo give me something, i've to give reports about your progress to the club" No reply, Leo just kept staring at the sea through the window "okay lets talk about something else.." she said after about ten minutes of silence "what are your plans for future? Cristiano told me you both are going to welcome a new member in the family soon" she asked with a smile but Leo replied her with a death glare "um-...did i say something wrong ?"

"Does my parents know?" Leo broke his silence for the first time in their three meetings.

"No, Cristiano told me not to tell anyone else...he told this to me because he thinks this might help & i think it did, you talked for the first time with me...even though this isn't much but still you talked" she said with a broad smile of triumph "so you're excited about this" Again no reply "Lionel you can't stay silent like this. Just because everything is a mess for you right now doesn't mean things won't get right, recovery is a possible but if you give up like this how will you come back? Hope is all we have! Think of all those beautiful moments you shared with your team mates in the dressing room, winning trophies...going on long drives with Cristiano & lying on the soft grass, watching stars away from people...you don't want to live all that again?"

"c-can we stop now?...please" Leo sniffled.

"Alright...but please don't cry, the tube will give you chest pain & make breathing difficult" she said after a moment of thinking. They had a really short session today, she feels sorry for Leo & too much stress will only effect Leo's health.

"How was the session Leo? Did it help hmm?" Eduardo squeezed his shoulder, his voice is low & sweet which made Leo look up at him, even though his eyes are glassy, his expression is only full of disgust "lets take you to you're room...you look awful" he said with a smirk skimming his thumb over his neck. Leo tried to move away his face but Eduardo made him stand by pulling him up roughly. Leo winced a bit freeing his hands from his grip "did i hurt you? I'm sorry i'll be gentle this time" Lionel wants nothing more than to punch his face but he doesn't want to get into any more trouble with his parents.

"I can go to my room by myself"

"You're going to be here for a long time you know that right..." Eduardo faked a huff and wrapped an arm around Leo. His cruel words were heart stabbing & tried his best to walk away from him but his shaky legs won't allow him & he finally broke into tears "don't cry..." he wiped the tears from Leo's face "...nobody is going to listen to you here" they walk towards Leo's room "you didn't take a bath yesterday, lets run you a bath"

"No.."

"Your mother will agree with me"

"Marthaaa....!" Leo called her as loud as he could.

Martha was quick to come "Leo you called me?" She raised an eyebrow questionably seeing Leo so perturbed & Eduardo already there "honey do you need anything?"

"I was telling him to run a bath-..."

"Martha can i talk with you.."

"Okay.."

"In private" Leo said to make sure Eduardo is out of his room.

"What happened honey?" Martha asked again after Eduardo left the room. She was carrying poochie wrapped in a towel.

"Can i hold him ?" Leo asked with a smile.

"I'm sorry hun but i can't let you hold this furry little thing with that tube"

"...but its taped behind neck. I barely play with him...i'll be careful, i promise" Leo's shaky voice broke her heart, Martha handed him the little pet nestled in the fluffy towel.

"Hiiii little ball of fur" Leo petted it with a finger smiling. He got comfortable against the headboard & folded his knees close to his chest even though it gave him stomach cramps so he could place it in the gap between "you're so soft n' round" Leo giggled when he bought his finger to it mouth & poochie nibbled on it "you hungry little monster"*"i want to feed poochie" he said looking up at Martha who was smiling to herself seeing Leo so happy.

"I'll get some lettuce or something..." Martha nodded before leaving. She returned after a minute or so with a bunch of grapes.

Poochie gnawed on the grape Leo held in front of its mouth. He didn't realize Celia was watching him standing by the door, he dipped a finger in the glass of water kept in the side table & cleaned poochie's fur around the mouth so it isn't sticky.

\-------

"Cristiano go to your friends" Leo said for the third time.

"I don't want to, i wanna talk with you" Cristiano whined.

"You're in a party...enjoy yourself & its past midnight i need to sleep"

"I know you don't sleep so early"

"I do"

"You can stay awake for me tonight then." Cristiano came to the party not just because of his friends but because Leo wanted him to. He didn't feel like partying so he sneaked in the guest room when nobody was looking & finally decided on calling Leo. Only his voice can give him peace.

"Are you drunk? You sound drunk"

"I'm not"

"Cristiano"

"Just a beer...since did people started considering a beer as drunk?"

"Did you really have one beer?"

"I had two" Cristiano groaned "but thats normal too"

"Thats not normal for you! You hate alcohol" Lionel said angrily.

"Leo calm down, i do have two beers when i go to parties & Marcelo forced me to anyway....then shoved me to the dance floor with girls" Cristiano laughed a bit nervously.

"You were dancing with girls!?"

"Knew you'd get jealous hahh" he joked & at the same time the bathroom door opened & two girls came out, giggling. Cristiano wasn't even aware anyone was there in the bathroom. Both the girls waved a seductive 'hi' at him before leaving the room.

"...is there anyone else with you?" Leo asked flatly.

"Umm no...there were girls in the bathroom...-& i wasn't aware-..." Cristiano said a bit uncomfortably.

"Ohh"

"I wish you were here though" Cristiano sighed resting his back on the bed.

"Same..."

"Sometimes i just feel so lonely without ya..." Leo heard some shuffling because Cristiano rolled around "do you remember the good times we had together Leo?" He said after a moment of silence

"Cristiano you're really drunk...i know you had more than two beers" Leo is sure now that his boyfriend lied to him.

"First tell me you do you remember the good times-..."

"Yes Cristiano i remember! the alcohol is kicking in...Cristiano i need you to ask one your friends to drive you home" Lionel heaved his tired body to sitting position, too worried about the person he loves the most.

"Do you miss them...?"

"Cristiano are you listening to what i'm saying?"

"You were my only chance of having a stable relationship" Cristiano's voice cracked up "...things were so perfect...i-i was so happy..."

"Cris-..."

"Why are you doing this to me?" Tears rolled down from corner of his eyes.

"I'm sorry..." Leo bit his bottom lip & squeezed his eyes shut so that the other one doesn't hear.

"You should be" Cristiano said before the Leo could only hear a long beep.

"Cristiano?" He panicked & called him back. The phone kept ringing but nobody replied so Leo called him again & this time he got a sharp pain in his chest because of his movements "Cristiano pick up please..." he sobbed miserably.

"Hi..." Cristiano finally replied.

"Cristiano i-i..." words got choked up in his throat. 

"Leo go to bed, its late..."

"But-..."

"I didn't mean what i just said...i mean i meant it but not how you're thinking. Everyone is having fun here with their partners & i was upset about being lonely...you know what, you're right i'm a bit drunk but i swear its all because of Marcelo-..." he tried to justify because he feels bad for saying all that to Leo.

"Cris'ano you don't have to be alone...you can go & have fun with someone" Lionel said after a moment of silence.

"I'm sorry...?"

"I won't mind you having fun with someone else since i'm not there"

"Wha-...are you fucking serious?" Cristiano asked incredulously.

"Cris i trust you..", *hold your breath & remain calm* Leo kept telling himself, wiping tears from his cheek.

"Leo you don't have to stress about all these ju-...just go to bed alright. I'll try to be there as soon as i can..." he said with a tired sigh, cursing himself for even calling Leo right now.

"...what about you?"

"I'll ask Marcelo to drop me home"

"You're going to come tomorrow right?"

"Before afternoon"

"Lets not disconnect the phone...you don't have to talk if you don't want to but lets not disconnect" Leo said petulantly.

"Leo thats crazy.." Cristiano laughed & it made Leo smile too "i'll be there as soon as i promise baby go to sleep"

"Okay bye, love ya" Leo said grumpily.

"Love you.."

"& don't drive while your drunk" Leo reminded him once again.

"Oh god Leo i won't...i'm hanging up" Cristiano laughed again.

"Ok ok...bye"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos & comments if you liked it...


	22. Chapter 22

Cristiano turned around at the sound of the door opening to see his rival walk in with a grumpy face accompanied by Ellen.

"Hello Leo, good morning" the doctor greeted him pointing at the plush chair beside Cristiano's. Leo took the seat before mumbling a 'hi' to Cristiano & exchanging a quick handshake. "You both know why you are here..." the woman in mid 40's with short hair said calmly "but still i'll repeat...it's brought to my notice you both tried to run-.."

"We didn't try to run away. We didn't. For the last time i'm saying this. We're not kids, we know the risks...this is- this is unbelievable" Cristiano said dramatically.

"Leo you have the same thing to say?" She looked at him expectantly but he remained silent.

"Leo say something?" Cristiano said a bit frustratedly seeing the other one sit there with a frown, staring vaguely at the table in front of them "you were with me, don't remain silent now"

"I told you it was a bad idea..." Leo mumbled with a sigh.

"Don't get me into all the trouble while you were there with me too!"

"I'm glad you both could befriended eachother & i don't want you both to fight, i'll never want that. I just need to hear the truth...an explanation" the lady got up from her chair & came around the table to stand in front of them.

"We went there together & even though he found the place first i kept asking him to take me there everyday. I went there because it made happy...gave me p-peace" Leo said in a robotic tone with the same frown in his face.

"Do you both know how irresponsible it was, how dangerous it was? You could have hurt yourself...some people could have lost there job" Dr. Bianchi said in her usual calm tone, she didn't sound angry at all.

"We're very sorry for all the trouble caused" Cristiano huffed tugging on a fistful of hair. The lack of sleep last night & no caffeine policy of this institution is really giving him a headache.

"Can i leave now?"

"No Leo you can't!"*"..you both are so hard to deal with" the doctor said with a resigned huff.

"Why? What's so difficult about us?"

"You both are so hard to break...you hide all your problems with lies" she said to Cristiano "you pretend like you're okay while you're actually hurting inside" then she turned towards Leo "& you...you don't even talk with me, silence is not going to help you Lionel" & Leo looked up at her with an even deeper pout. "You both are so uncoperative with the doctors but you treat other staffs & inmates politely even you though you both don't talk with them much so...why...why you both chose eachother? i'm curious"

"because we already know eachother..?" Leo muttered.

"Cristiano needs to attend his physiotherapy session" Ruby said entering the room after knocking on the door.

"Alright Cristiano you can go" Dr. Bianchi gave him the permission to leave, he looked at Leo who was brooding with his cheek rested on his hand before leaving with Ruby. "Don't do anything stupid again" she said from where she was standing "...where do you think you are going?" she said quickly seeing Leo get up from his seat.

"Why do i've to stay when he gets to leave?"

"He came here half an hour before you did...sit down" Leo did as he was asked like a scolded child.

"Why am i here?"

"To talk"

"About what?" Leo tugged on a fistful of hair, without looking at his doctor.

"Anything..tell me about your feelings or about your days here. Did you make any friends other than Cristiano-.."

"Oh my god you guys are driving me crazy here..."

"Am i that annoying?" Dr. Bianchi said with a playful smirk.

"Not just you, everyone...this whole fucking world is driving me crazy"

"Why is that?"

"Uh..." Leo finally looked up at her before turning his face towards the window.

"Come on Leo this is the most communicative you've been since you came here, don't remain silent now" she encouraged seeing him gnawing his lip nervously

She waited for Leo to speak but she got no reply "Oh you're going to give me silent treatment now? fine, you're gonna stay with me till you speak. I'm sorry Leo but you left me with no other choice"

\-----

"Hey what took you so long?" Cristiano asked seeing Leo walking down the corridor looking at his feet instead of looking at what's in front of him, lost in his own world.

Leo gave him a small half hearted smile before he started complaining about Dr. Bianchi "that lady has some level of patience pff.."

"What happened?" Cris wrapped an arm around the shorter man's shoulder as they both continued walking.

"...s-she said i can't leave till i talk with her" Leo stuttered a bit, blushing as he looked down where Cristiano's hand is rested on his shoulder.

"So you told her how you feel?"

"No.." Leo laughed nervously, looking up at Cristiano. The height difference! Sigh

"..you think thats a smart thing to do?"*"then why did she let you leave?"

"I uh- don't know..i told her i'll write down how i feel & give it to her but 'm not sure how i feel"

"Why are you stuttering? Are you nervous because its family visit day?"

"...it's today?" Leo stopped walking as if Cristiano's words gave him a panick attack.

"Yes-..."

"You two are here, i was searching you both everywhere" Miss Carelli walked towards them with quick steps.

"Yes, we finally gave up on our running away plan" Cristiano gave her a cocky grin.

"Not funny Cristiano..." she gave him the softest punch on his bicep "but anyway let me inform you we're keeping a close eye on you both 24x7"*"are you both excited about seeing your family?" She asked with a wide smile.

"I was but not anymore.." Cristiano muttered more to himself & the nurse shot an eyebrow questionably "my son isn't coming" he said sadly.

"Oh..how old is he?"

"3 years" he replied sadly.

"aww poor little thing"

"Its alright...its better this away"*"i don't want him to see me like this" Cristiano's voice cracked.

"You'll see him soon" Miss Carelli said with a sympathetic smile but she didn't want to make him more upset so she turned at Leo "& you Lionel?"

"I uh- i'm not sure.."*"i don't wanna see 'em" he whispered the second part after a small pause but loud enough for the others to hear.

"Why? Don't you miss them? They love you so much!"

"I do miss them a lot but i don't want to see them"

"You don't want to see them or you don't want them to see you?...like this?" She pointed at Leo's disheveled self "They love you. Both of your family loves you very much" she said to both of them "& you don't have to feel guilty or something..." Leo gave her a forced smile so that she would stop talking about it.

They both went to the rec room to kill their time because visiting hour will start at 1pm. Cristiano asked Leo if he'd like to play any games but Leo declined the offer, he is too anxious to play any games & ended up sick in the bathroom. Ruby gave him pills to help him calm his nerves, Leo fell asleep in the huge sofa of the rec room with his back pressed against Cristiano's chest so the Portuguese decided to take a nap too since he was caged between Leo & the backrest of the sofa.

\----

"Cristiano.." his mother hugged him tightly the moment he entered the waiting room for visitors.

"Oh-kay i get it you miss me very much.." Cristiano said with a smile. He really didn't feel like moving after Ruby woke him up from his nap to see his family but now being here in his mother's embrace he feels much calmer "how are you?" He asked finally pulling back from the hug.

"I'm fine..how are you?" Dolores asked him with a concerned expression.

"I'm fine too..." he said exchanging hugs with his sister & Ricky.

"I'm so sorry, i couldn't bring Cris, they don't allow children here" she said sadly seeing Cristiano's eyes search for him in the room.

"I've been told"

"What is this doctor told us, you tried to run away?" Ricky asked out of nowhere with his usual grumpy expression.

"It's a long story..." Cristiano said with a huff throwing his hand in the air dismissively & Katia let out a muffled laugh at that "when am i getting out of here?"

"We are not sure about it yet"

"What the fuck do you mean by you don't know?"

"We'll try to get you out of here as soon as we get some positive feedback from the doctor"

"They didn't give you a 'positive feedback' yet?"

"Doctors here are talking with club doctors & they'll decide if you're good to leave" Ricky told him.

"What the hell? Am i supposed to stay stuck here for my whole vacation?" Cristiano asked dramatically.

"Cristiano.." Ellen's called him standing by the door.

"I'm not even allowed to be annoyed?" Cristiano said with a frown, he didn't know Ellen was standing there.

"They are seeing you after so long, don't be grumpy now" she blew a kiss at him which made Cristiano's lip stretch into a smile.

"So you made some friends here? Since your doctor told me you tried to run away with another guy" Ktia asked him grinning.

"Yea..Lionel Messi" Cristiano replied ignoring the last part.

"What!?"

\----

Leo sat on the sofa with his head bowed down, all fidgety.

"How are you?" Celia asked after a few minutes passed to break the awkward silence.

"i-i'm fine"

"Doctors said you're still having nightmares & trying to hurt yourself?" Jorge said accusingly "you've to pull yourself together"

"I'm trying.."

"Try harder.."

 

"Jorge!"*"its not his fault" Celia glared at his husband "its alright honey, take your time" she talked to Leo & gave him a hug.

"I'm so sorry.." Leo said as his voice cracked up & he wrapped his hands around his mother's hand & started crying ducking his face against her neck.

"We all learn from our mistakes. You don't have to be sad, we love you & we're proud of you" she rubbed his back soothingly "staffs told me you're a trouble maker here, you tried to run away with a friend?"

"Yes Leo what the hell is wrong with you? What were you thinking?" His father said snorting.

"I don't know what they told you but its not like that"

"Ok i believe you just don't do it again" Celia said laughing "tell me about your friend...i'm happy to hear you made friends here" she was very surprised when Leo's doctor told her he wasn't alone.

"Yes..its Cristiano"

"Cristiano?" Jorge arched an eyebrow questionably.

"Ronaldo..."

"What? He's here too? What the hell is he doing here?"

"He's not as bad as media portrays him, he's a very nice person"

"& he's your best friend now?" Celia can't deny she isn't shocked a bit.

"Kind of..."

"Are you out of your mind?" His father said harshly.

"Or else why'd i be here?"

\----

"You both are still here? Don't you guys wanna go to our little field trip?" Ellen said walking into Cristiano's room where Leo was writing what he wants to say to Dr. Bianchi lying on his stomach on Cristiano's bed while the other one was making a house of cards on the table. She was a bit amused seeing them together like this even though this shouldn't be surprising anymore. They've never been in eachother's room though & lying on Cristiano's bed should be awkward for Leo but they had nothing better to do because everyone is going to the trip & they can't because none got the consent letter signed by their parents so Cristiano suggested it'd be better to stay in their room instead of loitering around.

"I didn't get that stupid form signed, he didn't either" Cristiano said with a frown while Leo didn't even look at her & continued scribbling on the page instead of writing to show his displeasure.

"I know, which is why i asked them to sign it!" She said excitedly, clapping her hand "don't give me that sullen face now & get dressed"

"You did? Thank you so much Ellen" Leo jumped out of the bed with a big smile.

"You're welcome...now get dressed quickly & come to the group therapy room. Its cold outside so dress appropriately" she said with a smile before leaving.

They literally ran inside the therapy room like eight years olds changed into new clothes after five minutes.

"Lionel & Cristiano.." Miss Carelli called walking towards them in the crowded room "After what you both did the staff wasn't in favor of you two going today but Ellen insisted-..."

"I know you insisted too.." Cristiano said with a cocky grin.

"No i didn't" she said but they both know she did because Ellen told them "Dr. Smith thought it'd be a good idea too so here i need to tell you both some important things about this trip...don't stray away!" She said taking Cristiano's hand & put a band around his wrist, she did the same with Leo's.

"Property of St. Mary's hospital. Please return if you find them lost" Cristiano read out what was written on the band along with his name & ward, biting his bottom lip to stifle his laughter.

"All the villagers know we'll go for visit today so if you get lost they'll bring you back here" she said but they both picked up the underlying threat in that sentence : 'they know who you are so don't try to run away'. "Here's your uniforms. Why are you wearing just a sweatshirt Leo?" she handed them both two navy blue hoodies with the hospital's name written on the back"

"You gotta be kiddin'"

"I didn't get back my hoodie from the laundry" Leo complained petulantly.

"Fine put this one on & everyone gets some money that their families leave during the family visit, you both can collect yours from the floor office" she said running her fingers through Leo's disheveled hair "alright everyone lets go now" she turned towards the others in the room & announced.

"This is so exciting!" Leo gush wrapping his hands around Cristiano's bicep & he stilled like a statue. The other one probably didn't realize what he was doing till he felt Cristiano tense up & he quickly let him go, his cheeks turned red in seconds. This is too adorable Cristiano thinks.

"Come on lets go" he said putting an arm around the shorter man's shoulder with a smile to make him feel more comfortable.

\----

Cristiano offered his hand to his arch rival who accepted it with a smile & hopped down the bus.

"Alright boys you're free to roam about in the village just come back here by 4:00pm & no funny business, please don't make me send a team of orderlies to bring you back especially Lionel & Cristiano" Miss Carelli said glancing at them earning a pout from both.

"What do we do now?" Leo muttered more to himself tapping his pointer finger on his chin.

"Turn this into a date.." Ellen said loudly with a grin.

"Ellen!"*"Leo lets go, we'll find something interesting to do" Cristiano grabbed Leo by his bicep & pulled him away from there blushing. Its a beautiful village, hidden in the valley, quiet & pollution free, full of green with lot of flowers growing here & there some creeping up the similar looking houses adding colour to the old houses. Almost every house had a workshop or a bakery & the smell coming from them is mouth watering. The senior nurse was right everyone in the village knows the inmates of St. Mary's as the others enthusiastically interacted with them "are you feeling cold?" Cristiano asked looking down at Leo.

"No.." Leo mumbled not making any eye contact with Cristiano.

"You're shivering, your hands are freezing" he said finally leaving his bicep only to grab his palm. He took off the grey hoodie he was wearing under the hospital one & draped it on Leo.

"Cristiano i don't-...you'll get cold" Leo protested.

"I'm not feeling that cold...please, i insist"

"Thank you.." he mumbled as they kept walking. They left others behind & walked into a farmland, they crossed the small field of wheat swaying with the breeze. They sat down under a tree at the end of the field, next to small lake. "Why are you smiling?" Leo asked seeing Cristiano smile to himself for a few minutes of silence.

"Seven billion people in this world & i'm sitting here with you...my arch rival" Cristiano said with a laugh which made Leo laugh too.

"Oh so you do see me as your enemy huh?"

"Nah i don't, i told you..i always do try to be the best but all these rivalry shit is created by the media. You know that phrase : 'rivals, not enemies'"*"...but we're friends now?"

"..yesh, we are...we are" Leo repeated as if he can't believe this himself.

"We'll be friends after we go back to our normal life too?"

"We will still be friends!" Leo said with an assuring smile.

"...but you know things won't be same then & it'll be hard to maintain this relationship" Cristiano said stretching out his legs in the soft grass "i mean you're blaugrana, i'm a madrista, people won't let us be friends"

"We can keep it a secret?" Leo regretted his words immediately. What the hell was he thinking? Turned his red face to the other side & started pulling out the grass.

"Of course" Cristiano said laughing out again. He really wants to share more moments like this with Leo "what are gonna do after you get out from here..any vacation plan?"

"I don't know what i'm gonna do" Leo said laughing nervously.

"Lets meet up one day"

"Wha-...other places are not as private as this one" he was pretty surprised by Cristiano's offer.

"Nobody will know, we'll be careful"

"Okay then i guess we can meet up"

"You promise?" He is so happy Leo agreed because he really wants to spend more time with him.

"I promise" Leo replied with an amused smile "lets go back before Miss Carelli comes looking for us with here men"

"Yea lets go" Cristiano stood up & stretched his hand towards Leo who accepted it & the other one pulled him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the abrupt ending of this chapter but it was getting too long ;__;


	23. Chapter 23

Cristiano was already glaring at him sitting on the recliner when Leo woke up. Leo still in his sleepy haze forced himself to smile even though the corner of his eyes were burning, plus he did not acknowledge that furious look on his boyfriend's face.

"Cris'ano-.."

"How did you sprain your ankle?" Leo's shaky voice got interrupted by Cristiano's question.

"I..uh..i slipped in bathroom" Lionel said the truth looking at his bandaged ankle, he put pressure on his elbows to heave himself up in sitting position.

"Why didn't you call anyone to take you to the bathroom? Don't you know you are not allowed to go anywhere without help!?" Cristiano finally stood up & crossed the space between the recliner & the bed.

"Cri-Cristiano p-please calm down" Leo stuttered nervously looking up at Cristiano who was standing by the bed, folding his arms on his chest.

"Why didn't you call anyone for help?"

"It didn't cross my mind...n'-n' i really had to go"

"We never really cross your mind, right Leo?"

"W-Why are you talking like this with me?"

"Answer me! Do we come in your mind!?" Cristiano slammed his hand on the side table making Leo flinch in fear.

"You...you come in my mind" Leo kept staring on his lap before replying, his lips were trembling "you look very stressed out today.."*"why don't you rest a bit & then we'll talk" Leo said with glassy eyes however there was a smile on his lips as he placed both his hands on Cristiano's wrists before trying to get on his on the bed.

"What are you doing? Do you want to hurt yourself more?" Cristiano stopped him, even though his voice was harsh his touch was as gentle as ever.

"Why are you behaving like this? Please stop...we can talk about whatever is worrying you" Leo tried again, this time his eyes are glassy with the tears he's trying to hold back.

"Talk Leo? Talk? Isn't that what we've been doing for last how much...nearly four & a half months..but will you listen?" Cristiano waited for a few seconds but when Leo didn't answer he's just shaked his head & stormed out of the room.

"I always listen to you..."

\-----

Leo laid on the bed while tears kept rolling down from the corner of his eyes. He wanted to run after Cristiano after he stormed out of the room, run after him & ask him why is behaving like this today but he didn't want to make him angry either by walking when his leg is sprained. Leo knows Cristiano is acting out like this because he's stressed & he also knows he is the reason for this extra stress. Leo sniffled closing his eyes & turning his face to the other side of the room. He's losing everything even the person he loves the most, he wants to make things right but the only problem is staying confined in this room feels so depressing & suffocating but the loneliness is also addictating, he is sure that there is nothing left for him outside these four walls. He has seen his career, basically his life fall apart he doesn't care about losing the other things anymore, he is just too used to with the loneliness & the pain but then theres another part of him that want things to go back to the way they were & be happy again.

The loud sound of a helicopter blades bought him out of his stupor. *Is Cristiano leaving already? Oh god! He has ruined everything* Leo told himself as tears rolled down his cheeks. *its all his fault. He made Cristiano angry & now he's leaving. He's a horrible person to make his boyfriend leave like this. Lionel rolled around on the bed & started crying silently with his face pressed against the pillow.

\------

"Leo?" When Cristiano entered his boyfriend's room it was evening already & the room was dark with no lights turned on "..are you crying?" He made his way to Leo after turning on the lights, hearing his sobs.

"You didn't leave?" Leo shot up his head, his cheeks are stained with tears, eyes bloodshot & watery nose from crying.

"Me? No.."

"I heard the helicopter & thought you left" Leo sobbed gripping on the bedsheet.

"But i didn't baby. I went for a walk to you know..." Cristiano sat on the bed "i'm sorry for how i treated you in the morning. I shouldn't have talked like that when you were so hurt already..i-i bought flowers for you, please forgive me" he said combing back some wild hair strands from Leo's forehead with his fingers.

"Cristiano...uh..we need to talk" Lionel finally forced himself to talk after a moment of silence.

"Yea sure"

"I think we sh-..."

"Don't say the word break up!" Cristiano cut him off quickly. He knows where this is going.

"You don't understand...i feel like i'm holding you back & i feel-.."

"...from what?"

"From everything...like enjoying life"  
"We've had this discussion before Leo" Cristiano sighed "...I'm frustrated, my team got eliminated from champions league &...i'm really sorry for how i treated you then...i got really angry because you got hurt again n' you keep breaking your promise that you'll take better care of yourself-.."

"..-'m sorry to put you through so much stress" Leo put an arm around Cristiano's torso & snuggled against his abs.

"shh...i bought you flowers" Cristiano gave him a bunch of purple wild flowers.

"Thank you" Leo said with a smile.

"Let me keep them here for now.." Cristiano took them back from him & left ghem on the side table.

"I didn't know your team got eliminated"

"Hmm.."*"i don't like seeing you like this...your mom told me you're making progress"

"She did?"

"Yes..she said if you try harder you can start training again in a month or two...this time is very crucial for you so you have to stop being so careless about yourself. Any kind of injury will only effect your recovery"

"Thank you for caring so much.."

"I miss you Leo...i miss you on the field. Ever since you left, things are not same anymore"

"Lets not talk about me, lets talk about you today" Leo said looking up at his boyfriend. He looks beautiful as always. Leo noticed he is still wearing the light blue shirt that he was wearing in the morning "why don't you rest for some time" he said patting on the bed.

"..i don't like resting other than my sleeping time but i'm always up for some cuddles" Cristiano said resting his back against the pillows & Leo cuddled up against him.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *FLASHBACK CHAPTER*

Cristiano looked at Messi's room which was parallel to the door of his room across the corridor as he packed only to see his arch rival staring at him standing leaned against the door frame of his room with his arms folded across his chest.

"Done packing?" Lionel asked with a serious expression from across the corridor.

"Almost done" 

The day has finally arrived, they're finally leaving st. mary's hospital, only a few hours left before they part away & get back to their regular life. Cristiano was supposed to leave a week later but he asked his doctors to leat to leave today so that he won't have to stay here alone after Leo is gone. He wasn't sure if he could stay here for another week without the Argentinean. In last one & a half months they've made a strong bond & even though none of them wants to stay here, it hurts them both that they won't be able to see eachother like this everyday from tomorrow.

When they walked into the group therapy room all the patients, staffs & doctors were there waiting for them to say goodbye.

It was emotional for both of them especially when they were saying their goodbyes to the nurses & the doctors. Both of them got a group picture that they took during their field trip & flowers as goodbye gift. Cristiano smiled a bit seeing him & Leo standing together in the middle of the group in the picture, he had his hand wrapped around Leo...he's gonna miss the moments they spent too much.

"I don't wanna let you both go but i'm glad that you both are finally getting back in your normal life" Ellen said after she gave them both a tight hug, she wiped the drop of tear that accumulated in the corner of her eye.

"We're are gonna miss this place" Cristiano said hugging her back.

"We will miss you here too but don't do anything stupid that'll get you back here...you two Lionel" Miss Carelli said with a sad smile.  
I can't promise that, i'm so used to all your scolds & rants" Lionel smiled back with glassy eyes.

"Aww you both..." the senior nurse hugged them both together "...don't let who you are ruin this friendship when you get out of here. You both need each other"

"trust me, we won't.." Cristiano said.

The goodbye was emotional but it was even more painful when Cristiano & Lionel parted their ways outside the waiting area to join their respective families. Both of them felt like their was a magnetic force that was pulling them both back together & they used all their will power to not run to the other one because they were scared & didn't want to embarrass themselves in front of their families which is why they texted each other (they didn't forget to exchange numbers before they left) & surprisingly it was Leo who started the conversation.

Leo : 'Hi. Its me Leo'

Cris : 'Hi :)'  
Cristiano was quick to reply.

Leo : 'what's up?'

Cris : 'Leo we were together just ten minutes ago'

Leo : 'right..sorry. stupid question'

Cris : 'its okay :)'

Leo thought for a moment about what to say next, he licked his bottom lip before he started typing again : 'you made my stay at st. mary's easy. I will cherish the moments we spent together forever...thank you for cheering me up in my bad days'

Cris : 'you did the same for me slightsmile emoticon'*'i can't wait to meet you again ^_^'

Leo : 'same'

Cris : 'when will you go back to barcelona?'

Leo : 'next week probably'

Cris : 'me too. what do you think about meeting up this weekend before we go back to our regular lives?'  
Cristiano bit his bottom lip as he waited for a answer.

Leo : 'sure..'

Cris : 'great then...i'll let you know the time & place later :)'

Leo : ' :D '  
Lionel hit the sent button with a smile before tucking his phone inside his jeans pocket.

"Leo are you okay?" Jorge, his father asked with a frown.

"Yes, why?"

"Why are you smiling?"

"Its nothing.."

"Let him...it's good to see him smiling again" his mother said with a smile "its so good to have you back Leo"

"You will return to barcelona next wednesday & start working out with team physio-..."

"Okay.." Leo said cutting off his father, he turned his face to the window to look outside the car with the smile still plastered on his face while his parents exchanged confused look.

 

*

*

*

Cristiano smile grew bigger when he saw Leo entering the expensive restaurant he has booked for them. The Argentine was wearing white dress shirt with grey suit jacket which he paired with dark navy blue jeans, Cristiano too was wearing a black suit with black narrow tie thinks Leo is looking extra gorgeous today, certainly his fashion sense has improved. He waved at him & Lionel smiled showing off his dimples as he made his way to the table where Cristiano was sitting which was in a corner in the private area.

"Hi" Cristiano said standing up as they shaked hands before taking their seats.

"Hi..nice place"

"I'm glad you liked it. How are you?..enjoying vacations hm?"

"I'm fine but basically i've been staying indoors so it doesn't really feel like a vacation" Leo replied laughing nervously as a waiter came to fill their glasses with fine red wine.

"Wait, you're saying you didn't get out after leaving st. mary's?" Cristiano asked in disbelief.

"No, not really" Leo replied blushing "today is the first time since you know...we left st. mary's" he took a sip from his glass of wine suddenly feeling day inside this air conditioned room.

"So you told everyone home that you're coming to see me?" Cristiano asked as he checked the menu card.

"No, i said i'm coming to meet kun-..." Cristiano looked up at him arching an eyebrow a bit while Leo bit his tongue to stop himself from saying anything more stupid. Leo looked into his wine glass, shifting uncomfortably on his chair, hr can't blame this on the wine...the glass is still almost full...god!what was he thinking "...my parents they- are very overprotective of me..& now even more. They would tag along if i said i'm just going out..n'..i thought they'd probably find it weird if i said i'm coming to see you so...i said its kun" Leo stuttered with a nervous laugh.

"I understand.." Cristiano nodded with a amused smile.

"Sir, are you ready to order?" a waiter interrupted them. Cristiano didn't take much time to tell him what he wants to have but Leo embarrassed himself here too because he didn't really see the menu & ended up blurting out he'll have whatever Cristiano is having.

"So your parents are like super protective of you?" Cristiano asked with a smile sipping wine from his glass. He finds it very cute the way Leo blush & stutter every time he's embarrassed.

"Yes..it's crazy & surprising considering i've siblings"

"Maybe they've some other reason..." Cristiano said in a serious tone.

"Maybe...probably because um i had GHD when i was young & now because of..-of what happened-.." Leo hesitated.

"You'll not do anything to hurt yourself again" Cristiano placed his hand on Leo's that was rested on the table. Meanwhile the waiter bought them their food so Cristiano had to retrieve his hand back quickly.

"I don't want them to worry" Leo said with a tired sigh "i don't want anyone to worry.." he mumbled noticing the worried expression on the other's face.

"You can assure them by talking.." Cristiano said as he laid the white napkin on his lap.

"I did...i told them i'm sorry, i apologized..."*"i just wish they would be a bit supportive too" Leo muttered the last part more to himself "...let's talk about you now. Your family seem very loving & caring, i saw them in the ballon d'or ceremony." They started eating.

"yes they are.." Cristiano said with a smile.

"& your son? Did you see him yet?" Leo asked.

"Yes, he's here actually"*"..to be honest, i didn't go out much either after i returned from st. mary's...i spent most of my days with my son"

"Ah kids...you're lucky to have one already, like he is to have a person like you as his father"

"Cristianinho is a good kid. I'm a proud father" Cristiano said with a nod "I'm guessing you love kids-.."

"Yeaa of course i do.."

"So you've a girlfriend?"

"No, i don't"

"A boyfriend?"

"Nah.."

"Considered it as an option?" Cristiano asked taking a sip from his glass of wine again.

"Um..if the person loves & cares for me & i like him too then why not?" Leo replied with red cheeks.

'I love & care for you' Cristiano wanted to say but instead he said "..so you've no problem being with a guy?"

"If you truly love someone you don't see if its a boy or a girl, you just fall for them...love is blind"

"Love can be dumb sometimes too"

"Sorry?"

"Nothing.."

\-----

"Where are we going?" Leo asked as they walked down an almost empty road.

"somewhere where we can have fun.."

"Oh..okay"

"So Leo, earlier you said 'you wish your parents were more supportive too' why did you say that?"

"You caught that huh?"*"..its not like that they are not supportive at all, they are but...i just wish they would understand what i want & respect that.."

"What do you want?"

"Its too complicated.."

"Feelings can be complicated, talking may help.."

"I- I'd rather not talk about all that now"

"Okay, plus we're there too" Cristiano said. Leo looked up at the neon lights board to realize they've come to a nightclub, then he heard the muffled music coming from inside the building.

"You sure we should go in?" Leo asked noticing a few people standing near the door but other than that the road was empty.

"Nobody will photograph us here, i've been here before" Cristiano assured him understanding his concern, he placed an arm around Leo, the person who is supposed to be his arch rival before they made their way towards the door.

They made their way straight to the bar pushing & shoving the drunk people dancing to the blaring music. The bartender gasped in surprise seeing them but didn't bother them for autographs & photos.

"A beer please.."

"I'll have a shot.."

"So you consider 'boyfriend' an option?" Cristiano asked as the bartender prepared their drink. They were sitting face to face on the stools in front of the bar. The bartender left them alone after giving them their drinks.

"Well..i told you, if my perfect match is a guy, i've no problem" Leo said blushing as he had whatever there was in his shot glass in one go.

"so like somebody?...ever dated a guy?" Cristiano asked taking a sip from his beer bottle.

"No, never...didn't really get time to know anyone that well to get that close" Leo didn't notice when the bartender filled his glass but it was filled so he took the second one too.

"Hm..."

"..but i'll date you" Leo could feel his head getting light & heat rush up his body...maybe he's a bit drunk but he didn't lie.

"I think you should stop drinking..first the wine & now these shots-.." but before Cristiano could complete his sentence Leo turned the glass in his mouth once again before slumping himself on Cristiano. Cristiano quickly put his arms around the smaller man to keep him from falling "i should've stopped you from drinking so much " his lips quirked up into a smile.

"but you didn't...n' now there's nothing you can do.." Leo's words got a bit slurred as he breathed out. Their lips were just inches apart as they stood their pressed into eachother, staring into eachother's eyes. For a moment he forgot he was standing in middle of a nightclub, the music & the noises made by people faded away, his eyes were fixed only on the person in his embrace, he leaned down thinking this is the moment...but Messi pulled away "dance with me.." he purred before dragging Cristiano to the dance floor.

Leo put his hands around Cristiano's neck as he danced for the first time in life. Cristiano wanted to laugh at his crazy moves but instead he smiled seeing how happy the other one was so he put his hands on Leo's sides & moved his hip along with him. Cristiano feels extremely happy but at the same time he's feeling sad deep down because soon their time together will end & they won't see eachother for a long time.

"Cris'ano.." Leo said breathlessly "you're so fun..i love youh Cris'ano" Cristiano stilled at that & looked down at him but Leo looked behind him "i wanna go up 'ere.." he said pointing at the high stage with poles where strippers were dancing.

"Leo you can't go there...th- thats for the strippers.."

"I want to dance with a stripper"

"No, you don't.."

"You want a lap dance munchkin!?" a busty blonde approached them out of nowhere.

"No-.." Cristiano said quickly.

"Hell yeahh.." Leo said jumping to the change of music & Cristiano facepalmed. He shouldn't have let him drink so much, its surprising he did considering the fact he hates alcohol...he just wanted the younger man to be happy.

\-----

"Cristianooo...put me down!" Leo cried in a high pitched voice that would probably make him feel ashamed if he wasn't drunk right now "put me down!" he gighled as Cristiano carried him to a room that they rented to spend their night in. Leo could hear Cristiano giggle but he couldn't see him because Cristiano had him thrown over his shoulder but he wanted he hear too so he tried again this time kicking his legs "puuuh me down!!" Cristiano slapped him on his ass in reply.

"Shh Leo"

"Don't slap my ass..youh naughty-.."

"Hm round & soft.." Leo felt one of the strippers squeeze his buttcheek. After they let that blonde one dance with them she called one of her friend to join too & now both of them are following them to their room.

"Don't touch it..it's mine!" Cristiano batted her hand away quickly with a frown.

"Alright lover boy"

Cristiano struggled opening the door lock with Leo still on his shoulder. After they entered the room Cristiano dropped Leo on the bed.

"Ouch..kinky" Leo said grinning. The strippers asked them to have drinks with them but Cristiano declined the offer, he's drunk but not as much as Leo is but still he got carried away. Leo crawled back to Cristiano then gripped on his shirt to straighten himself up, Cristiano cupped his face before leaning down to kiss him "mm...Cris'ano.." Leo hooked an arm around Cristiano's neck before pulling him on the bed with him, moaning into his mouth "are they going to stay here?" He said pointing at the strippers with a frown breaking the kiss.

"Oh.." Cristiano walked to them "..how much!?" He came back to Leo after locking the door after those strippers left

\------

Lionel shifted on the bed humming in his sleep, he rolled around in his only to get blocked by Cristiano's body who was sleeping beside him. He forced himself to open his eyes to see what was blocking him & also...his heads feels so heavy & his whole body is hurting. He sat up with a gasp seeing Cristiano sleeping behind him, shirtless. He pressed a hand on his mouth trying to recall how they ended up here like this.

"Shit...!" He cursed himself when he realized he's completely naked under the blanket. He looked at Cristiano who was still soundly asleep then his eyes searched for his clothes. They were all scattered on the floor. Leo was about to get out of the bed but a sharp pain in his lower back made him pause.

He gritted his teeth in pain still a whimper left his mouth. He felt Cristiano stirring up from his sleep & it almost gave him a heart attack, he quickly collected his clothes & put them on, as he dressed himself his eyes fell on the mirror...there are bruises & red marks all over his cheeks, neck & collar bones, his hair is poking out in all directions. Leo pulled up the collar of his crumpled shirt & tried to arrange his wild locks a bit with his fingers before looking for his phone, finally when he spotted his phone on the side table of the bed, he took it to checked for the messages that are certainly gonna be there & he is right...nearly 20 missed calls & his inbox is full of unseen messages. He noticed there's a sunglass on the side table-...

"Ummph- Leo-..." he heard Cristiano turn on his back calling his name is sleep, it looks like he's about to wake up...shit! Leo without wasting anymore time grabbed the sunglass that is not his before storming out of the room, he stopped for a moment to look around in the living room of the suite...no, there is no evidence of anything what has happened between him & Cristiano in his room so he started making his way towards the door with quick, large steps ignoring the pain in his back.

The loud noise of the door slamming shut finally startled Cristiano up from sleep, looking around restlessly for the smaller man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aww cristiano...& leo you lil shit! :'3  
> It's almost two years since i posted the first chapter, i don't think i'm ever gonna finish this story omg (just kidding, it's coming to an end ;_;)  
> Let me know what you guys think about this in the comments...

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first fan fic so apologies in advance for mistakes. Kudos & comments are much appreciated & also if you want to make suggestions please feel free :) ...& ohh yeaa world is aware of Cris & Leo's relationship here :))


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